Lady was pissy when I insisted on walking with her to the parking lot, but it was raining and she had an umbrella.

Baby, I miss you and all your lies.

The ones you don’t have to force conversation with or be awkward about silences are my favourite people.

“I wouldn't let you sleep in my room... if you were growing on my ass”

The doctor asks, "What seems to be the problem?" "I've been stung by a nasty insect of some kind ... but I'm ashamed to tell you where." "It's okay," says the doctor. "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone." "Okay," says the woman. "It was at Walmart."

reAlpha CEO Mike Logozzo (@mike_logozzo) joins @marketopolis_ to share how he’s rethinking the homebuying journey with AI, vertical integration, and a retail-first strategy. He breaks down what it takes to pivot, adapt, and lead through change. 🎧 Listen now! @reAlpha

When I left a bottle of tequila in my Ford Focus, I returned to a Ford Fiesta.

“Can you read other people’s thoughts?” You mean like am I on Twitter?

You could always sit beside me and reminisce.

Plan out your ax chibi weekend and explore everything waiting for you this year panels, performances, guests, exhibits, and more all in one place.

Her: Can I have a hug Me: Best I can do is a sarcastic comment

Should trump be arrested for defying Congress and the Constitution. Absolutely. Will he be arrested? Absolutely not. Who would arrest him? DOJ? Congress? Get real. We are saddle with a dictator who is above the law. What a mess.

That’s what I use to call them. ✋🏽

My best tweet this week got 8 likes. I have conquered Twitter.

Please click onto the image to hear oldies and classic rock

Slow down there young buck, you’re going to hurt yourself.

Wanting attention is so embarrassing, but I do it anyway.

If you’re cold, they’re cold. Let your husbands and boyfriends inside this holiday season.

Rise and grind fuckwads.

It’s amazing how repeatedly “optimistic grocery store me” buys ingredients for meals that “after work day me” has no energy to cook.

Maybe I like the eerily quiet where I can hear the pin drop that only the forest could bring

What’s the future of federal AI? From Google Public Sector Summit, @PatrickMoorhead hosted @Google Public Sector’s Field Chief Technology Officer Chris Hein to explore how Gemini for Government empowers agencies to customize and build their own AI models, ensuring

Not gonna lie. I hate four letter words like… Cook Fold Wash Dust

There’s this place that exists of perfect contentment. Exactly where you are at, exactly who you are with and you are able to finally breathe and let go.

There are two types of people in this world, those who can’t look away and those who have to.