Puff, a Gray Jedi ⚔️
@KeraRolsen
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Leader of Airmen/Lifter of heavy objects/Lightsaber aficionado Awesomely dorky #milflamingo Fiction as @authorKRPaul Follow/💜/RT≠endorsement Views my own
Rolsen Fortress
Joined November 2018
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One year ago today, I had what was suspected to be a heart attack during my own damn staff meeting. I had asked to relinquish command less than 24 hours earlier because I knew I was dying
Let's talk about the leadership lessons I learned from my deathbed
Spoiler: I lived.
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One of my goals is to foster a culture of inclusion; I don’t want aviators to feel “othered.” I brought my peers to my students to build real, meaningful connections, & mentorship.
Today we had more female B-52 aviators in one place than the entire community had when I joined 😃
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"Why Don't Women Report?" Part ♾
Leaders, how are you going to explain this to your troops?
This is what happens when you report your assault in the
@USMC
He admits his guilt and then is retained by the Commanding General after everyone else recommended do not retain.
@RepSpeier
@SenGillibrand
@KamalaHarris
@SecDef
this is bullshit.
#metoomilitary
#sexualassault
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Boy in my HS physics class told me women “don’t fly combat aircraft.” I corrected him and said they’d been allowed for 6 years now. He said “well, then *you* won’t fly them!”
I’ve been on the B-52 for 12 years now.
Tell me about a time someone told you that you could not do something and you went ahead and succeeded out of spite.
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Him: Hey babe, I don’t know if you heard it but something broke during your change of command
Me: Oh, no! What?
Him: The glass ceiling. I saved you a piece...
Omg this man is amazing
I commissioned 17 years ago this week so, I guess it’s time for a
How it started How it’s going
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I did not have “AAFES called out Elon Musk” on my Twitter Bingo card for 2023 but here we are
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I lived! Better yet, surgery went exactly as we hoped and I lost only the bare minimum of organs necessary to fight the endometriosis
Also huge thank you to the kind soul who sent me flowers but didn’t sign the card, they are lovey and brightening my room right now
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Hey, guess who has two thumbs and just found out she’s completely cancer free! 😌
Doc called with my pathology results and not only did they get all my endometrial lesions, all my cycsts and tumors came back COMPLETELY CANCER FREE! Yay!
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Leaving on a jet plane!
Off to Walter Reed today, appointment tomorrow. Wish me luck!
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It’s go time! Catch y’all on the flip side and if I don’t make it back, be good to each other
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Today I found out that when I take command, I will be breaking a glass ceiling
I post this, not for self-aggrandizing reasons, but because when I was a CGO I needed more visible barrier breakers. I needed to know it could be done.
Keep climbing; it can be done
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I commissioned 17 years ago this week so, I guess it’s time for a
How it started How it’s going
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I’m at the Lowe’s getting put into the system for a military discount
Cashier: Phone number?
Me: it’s [refacted] *pull MY ID from MY very pretty pink wallet*
Cashier: is he active duty? *looks at husband*
Me: 😡 *I’m* active duty
Cashier: is he?
Me: I AM! 🤬
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Friends, lemme learn you a little staffing trick: if you want to see if anyone is really reading your work, leave a random “potato” in there
If they comment, they’re reading thoroughly
If not, throw a potato at them
🥔
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Unsurprisingly, I’ve never felt that my uniform has ever degraded my femininity. But if she’s that worried, I am wearing the female cut flightsuit.
#StrongIsFeminine
I'm not sure how men could be attracted to women dressed as men like female police officers and females in the military. These are men's jobs. If they weren't, then women could dress like women in these jobs but they can't. Stick to being feminine, women.
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I don't care much about the coronation, but seeing Princess Anne say "waste time picking a gown? Nah fam, I got a uniform for this" and strut proudly into the Abby while making a uniform look extra is *chef kiss*
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Funny enough, today is my 41st birthday. A year ago we figured it was a coin flip if I would live to see another birthday. This last year has given me time to reflect on what led to my decision to relinquish command early and what lessons I learned.
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Here’s hoping this the last loop on the 2022 health rollercoaster because it’s positive: despite being diagnosed with a chronic condition, I’ve been cleared back to flight status and am NOT GETTING A MED BOARD!
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Hi. I'm celebrating a little victory today. Despite some significant life changes, I am debt free today!
#FIRE
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I’m currently a Lt Col, a Director of Operations, and a Millennial.
I took my oath of enlistment only 20 days before 9/11.
18 years and only 20 days not at war. Yes, Millennials have known nothing but war in their careers and they are your Squadron level leadership now.
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Out TDY with the unit I’m about to command, figure I’ll just go ahead and set the tone now
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Welp. I guess it’s time, off to Walter Reed we go!
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Over the last two months, I’ve been slowly and quietly executing a hostile takeover of office spaces by replacing all the art with B-52s. I’m almost done! 😂
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I relinquished command, lost 5 organs, but I lived
At my lowest point, I learned
-don’t ignore your own health
-the system doesn’t care but people do
-know when to set your ego aside for the mission
-know when to set your ego aside for yourself
-the mission will go on without you
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I lived
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Drop a cool photo that someone took of you doing your job.
Drop a cool photo that someone took of you doing your job.
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I am Captain Marvel!
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There is no fear quite like pulling your uniforms from the drier and *then* finding the pen
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There was an attempted murder in front of my house today
And if you get the joke, we should be friends
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“You’re so stupid! Women can’t be on combat aircraft”
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The military, for all its faults, is still the biggest family in the world, and when the chips are down, they will move the Earth to help you
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My new job has me as a “Special Assistant to the Commander” and let me tell you, the number of times I refer to myself as the “Assistant to the Regional Manager” is getting out of hand
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Addicts talk about "rock bottom," but stubborn, pig-headed, type-A personalities should talk about it too
I lay in the ER bed and told the nurse I felt like I was dying. She very calmly put a hand on my arm and said, “Honey, you are”
Worse? It was at least partially my fault
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I'm gonna go have another glass of wine and work on a costume for DragonCon
Because a year later I'm still alive to do silly nerdy things like this
And that really means a lot to me
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It’s been announced here locally so I guess I can make this “Twitter official.” As some of you know, back in March I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that had already progressed to stage III. Surgery cleaned up some of the issues and medication should have settled others 🧵
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I’ve decided not to wait until Pride, I’m just gonna go ahead and be queer in public now. I mean, why just let people hate me for being myself only in the month of June, I want them to hate me all the time
*finger hovers menacingly over the block/mute buttons*
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Dad Twitter™️ I present the following for your judgement and approval:
Overnight brine, three hours in a smoker at 275F, and she’s dead on 165F and still dripping juice
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I briefed the CSAF at WEPTAC and no one has called to fire me yet. Home safely so, I guess we can call that mission complete
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And yes, when I posted this before surgery, we worried it was a coin flip (50/50) shot I was waking up again
Glad this wasn’t my last tweet
It’s go time! Catch y’all on the flip side and if I don’t make it back, be good to each other
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I have conferred with protocol: I must use a guidon and cannot conduct my change of command with a lightsaber. Please respect my privacy in this trying time
🤣🤣🤣🤣
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After being physically asaulted by a boyfriend, the chaplain said it "was all a part of God's plan" to my black and blue face
No. No thank you. I want no part of that
I like the idea of using chaplains as an intermediate step to behavioral health, and have used that in the past when it was an option. They're a counseling resource that can do a lot of good.
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First checkride to the last sortie, I guess the reaction is still the same when you’re hit with cold water and champagne 🍾
💜
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I want a new Veterans Day trend. Not the standard one (1) each Hero Pose picture. Show me your dorkiest, nerdiest picture of you in uniform. Because we're all people
I dug through two external drives for these gems.
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By Walter Reed, thanks for the Veteran’s Day stay and your welcome for my cervix
#hysterectomy
#endometriosis
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On my first deployment a senior captain walked up behind me at a bar, untied the knot on my halter top, and exposed my chest to the bar. No one stopped him, they all laughed.
And no, he wasn’t punished either
These things can’t be allowed to happen
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I’m always worried when my O6 calls the BatPhone early on a Saturday morning. Is it one of my troops? A unit facility issue? Is someone in jail?
Nope. Today it was a heads up that there are two alligators roaming the neighborhood (O6 row is one behind us)
Welcome to Eglin!
😂🐊
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The last 48 hours of my both professional and personal life have been a little wild. My one lesson learned from it all is:
Speak
Speak the truth
Speak the truth, especially if saying the words makes your voice shake. That’s when it’s the most important
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Don’t offer her food, offer a drink and go from there
IF you encounter a cougar:
- NEVER approach or offer it food. You are NOT a Disney Princess.
- Face the cougar. Talk to it firmly while slowly backing away.
- Try to appear larger. Stand on a rock or a stump or open your jacket to appear wider.
- DO. NOT. RUN.
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I did a thing today! Celebrating with fine, fine wine. Everything just got better!
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Many USAF systems are equipped with what we call “Bitching Betty,” the female voice that gives audio warnings meant to cue a pilot when they are ignoring all other indications. Betty’s timely “Pull up! Pull up! Pull up!” saves countless aircrew from a sudden terrestrial halt
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@LouisatheLast
May I recommend Lego Star Wars... I have tweeted before how player 2 is a straight up "Little Sister Mode" because their participation has almost no effect on the outcome and all MCs will switch to player 1
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Quick, everyone send me good vibes, I’m number four in line with Walter Reed surgery scheduling 🥹🥹🥹
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If a senior leader is censured for defending personnel from harassment online, how can I trust that organization to enforce non-harassment policies in the workplace?
I'll be intensely curious to see that IG report
The Army inspector general’s report, which has not been publicly released, accuses Maj. Gen. Patrick Donahoe of conduct that "ran counter to Army values." Yet he was defending those very values on social media from vicious MAGA attacks.
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Ok but seriously, all jokes aside, he looks so genuinely happy
Good for them
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I’m seeing both my surgeon and my therapist today and my goal is to make at least one of them laugh
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IYKYK
But on a more serious note, this impacted the entire nuclear enterprise and all the personnel in it. Anyone and everyone who was in the enterprise that day still recalls the next four months vividly.
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Did I start crying in our staff meeting today when the commander discussed the recent
#suicide
on base?
Yes. Yes, I did.
I once had someone tell me that “suicide doesn’t end pain, it only passes it on.” Today, I wholeheartedly concur.
Watch your folks, be someone they can talk to
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One of my LTs... just checked in... is young enough to be my child...
I'm gonna go lay down before I break a hip or have a heart attack.
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I don’t think the guys in this gym realize that the conversation from their locker room echoes directly into mine. They’re having the most adorably pure conversation about Disney movie available on Disney+ and I’m trying not to laugh right now because I know they’ll hear me.
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DTS: you get a super compact car because F-you that’s why
Absolute legend checking me in: Just you? Want a Mustang instead?
Me: Not on the government dime
Legend: Same price
Me: YES!
(It’s a convertible too!)
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Despite one scary trip to the ER yesterday & even more hurried diagnostic imagery, we can at least say YAY ITS NOT CANCER!
Got a while to go yet on this one but I’m feeling better today, we’re narrowing down the issue, and it’s not the “Most Dangerous” COA
😎 Happy Friday indeed
Update: this doc has fought to get all my imagery appointments moved to the “ASAP” category so I can been seen in 72 hours and not in a month
This doc is my new hero and a shining example of mil medicine. I hope this helps folks who worry that mil Med is all bad
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Summarize your military career in one photo
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In my change of command speech, I apologized to my team, “To my Roadrunners, I fought as long as I could, but you deserve a commander focused on the mission and I deserve to heal.” Those were hard words to say.
No one wants to quit early
But I deserved better too
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Change of command in six hours. Guess I’d better finish writing my speech.
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This is a sub tweet
That's all. Thats the joke
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People care. I was open and honest with my struggle, I didn't suffer in silence. People like
@pwhickey
and
@DrTraceyK
reached out about Walter Reed. I was able to find someone willing to take my case. Friends offered to make food, do grocery runs, or order me delivery food
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Phlebotomist: Hey, haven’t I drawn on you before?
Me: Probably, I have a stage III chronic illness and a misbehaving kidney, I’m a frequent flyer
P: Ahh yeah, I remember! You’re the Colonel who looks super young
So anyway, I have a new favorite phlebotomist now
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SMSgt: Ma'am, you have a special visitor
Me: IS IT A PUPPY????
**Spoiler** It was the puppy 😁
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I did have to explain today that the average pistol is not going to reach 60,000’ or higher so no, we’ll meaning rednecks couldn’t “just shoot it down”
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The Base Housing Office is basically a HOA on cocaine. Since the Base Housing Office has been goobers about my kayak rack, I intend to continue to obnoxiously decorate my flamingos according to the season
🏈
Behold my Football tree
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"Why is everyone posting the Joint Chiefs letter? *I* know what my oath says!"
Cool, but we've known about extremism in the ranks of the US military for a long while & these people still exist in the US military. So yes a message from the top was necessary but wasn't for you
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"But when I was in, we said this all the time and no one had a problem with it!"
No.
Just, no.
People had problems with what you said, they were just too intimidated by the unit culture and scared for their personal safety to voice their concerns aloud.
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Hubris, pure and simple
I ignored warnings. After all, I had struggled for 15 years to earn my command pin! Illness was for lesser mortals
I, as you can see, was an idiot
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My squadron gave me a sword as a going away gift.
1) I LOVE IT SO MUCH!
2) Do you know how hard I’m trying not to start swinging it at everything!?!
“Ma’am, I’m betting there’s a non-zero chance you’re going to end up walking down the hall carrying that”
“You are correct”
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Ladies and gentlemen, I have a new hero.
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Can confirm,
@EODHappyCaptain
is a real person! Ran into him at Octoberfest locally and yes, I’m in full costume/dirndl
Meet your Twitter (X?) friends!!! Even if it is literally randomly at a local brewery’s Oktoberfest.
@KeraRolsen
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Dang, here I am once again disappointing a *check notes* NFL kicker(?) by focusing on promotions and titles in the work place and not being a homemaker. Darn. I’m really sad to disappoint him. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Trying to find a surgeon, in this specialty, who can do a robotically assisted procedure when my body is a ticking timebomb and I’m recovering from the emotional turmoil of relinquishing command was not ideal.
Lesson 2: The system doesn’t care, but people do.
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In Jan I had a suspected kidney infection. I got some antibiotics & was determined to push on b/c the next week I was slated to brief the CSAF
I still recall walking out of my office on Friday, telling my DO, “I’m either briefing the CSAF or I’m gonna be in the ER”
I did both
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I promise that if my pending med board forces me into early retirement, I will continue my fiction writing and not fall into the O-5 grift game
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Sure a high VA rating is cool but man, I kinda just wish I was healthy instead
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Like our aircraft, the body gives its own warning signs. Some are subtle. Some are not
Through late 2021 & early 2022, I’d been ill on & off. I was tired, I was run down, I kept getting weird pains. But I was a relatively new commander, determined to bull through the pain
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As always: it wasn’t me
That said, I did fly this day. We had a minor incident on our flight and I spent a long weekend thinking I was going to jail
Today in 2007 at Minot AFB, North Dakota, munitions crews mistakenly loaded a B-52H bomber with six Advanced Cruise Missiles, each armed with a live W80-1 nuclear warhead with a variable yield of 5-150 kilotons. The plane sat on the tarmac overnight without any special guards.
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Full sized bars for Halloween. Because “fun sized” is too small
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I have a new hero and her name is Maggie! I want to be Maggie when I grow up! :D
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Fun fact! Millennials start turning 40 this year!
We are not "children" or "babies." We're the military's leaders now
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Fully successful and I’m already home recovering with my favorite furry nursemaid. Now it’s just the wait for pathology results
Thanks to everyone who sent well wishes, I’ll try to respond as my head clears
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THEY DID THE THING!
Hmm, filling out the template for my tail flash and it wants a “Favorite Duty Title or Duty Titles”
Heck yes it’s gonna say Jedi Master! 😂
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Why is Puff so big on fitness?
Because I didn’t use to be fit... it’s been a long road.
A
#transformationtuesday
thread
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So if any of the pro-gun lobby would like to tell me how to explain today to my elementary school student, that’d be great
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I always believe women and I 100% support you if you want to show receipts for the BS your endured.
Gotdamn, burn him to the ground sis
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