I'm drinking a glass of wine writing this and will not admit that I was about 2 minutes from calling my First Sergeant and asking him to take me to the ER the Sunday before change of command

It felt like my world was ending Not when I show up to Walter Reed with my Mom, who was armed with Powers of Attorney and my Living Will b/c we knew how risky my surgery was Change of Command... I felt like I lost so much

But trying to balance recovering, command, and being a newly single Mom... it wasn't living. It was just surviving

But the moment I passed the guidon, command and the mission was out of my hands and on to a brand new commander who had to pick up the ball and run. (He's doing awesome, BTW)

And the mission went on. The NJPs still processed. The missions still executed. Briefings were still briefed And I got my surgery as well as time to heal

As leaders, I think we sometimes lose sight of our position Yes, we lead, but with very few exceptions, any one of us could be replaced overnight and the mission will still move forward

The unit, the team that executes the mission was still there I should have put my ego on the back burner and stepped aside sooner to let them do their mission The service will always be there and we should be more careful so that *we* are still there

It is no stretch to say that making the decision to relinquish command early was the most difficult professional decision I’ve ever made It was a complete unknown to me and I accepted the risk that I wouldn’t get command credit or that it would negatively affect my future career

But by the time I made the decision, I also knew that I was dying and then what did any of that matter? What did I miss with my family and friends over the last 18 years? Was that worth it?

Learn from me Learn that self awareness & the ability to put your ego aside to look at the whole picture is invaluable Learn that empathy for yourself & others does more for the mission than letting the system work And know that its ok to not be ok, as long as you take action

And yes, when I posted this before surgery, we worried it was a coin flip (50/50) shot I was waking up again Glad this wasn’t my last tweet

@KeraRolsen Thank you for sharing this! I hit like on every tweet because they all contain valuable lessons. I would wish nobody ever needs those lessons, but I know they will. I hope they heed them.

@SteveDaly15 If folks learn from me and don't have to deal with the shit show/roller coaster I had, then good!

@KeraRolsen I’m glad you didn’t die. I’m glad you’re doing silly, nerdy things that make you happy. And if I see you at Dragon Con, well, I hope to tip my hat in respect. But since I know the odds of that are slim, I’ll do so now.

@wabbit89 I’ll probably be on. Speaking panel and hopefully in a fashion show so I’ll be out and about

@KeraRolsen Thanks for opening up to us like this, and it means a lot to a lot of us that you are still alive to do silly, nerdy things and share them with us.

@KeraRolsen Thank you for telling your story. I also left Command and the Army early due to a heart condition. Still bummed but enjoying life.

@tankerbell19 Thank you

@KeraRolsen Good on you, Puff! So, so sorry you went through this. But also so glad you’re here with us all on the other side.

@KeraRolsen

@KeraRolsen I am glad you are still here. That was a hell of a thread.

@KeraRolsen Thank you so much for sharing this thread. As a retired military officer, as a former vessel captain, as a former corporate CEO and as a recently disabled leader, I relate to your struggle, I admire your courage and I value your advice

@KeraRolsen Oh, Puff! 💕

@KeraRolsen I am so very glad that you're still around. I hope you have a blast at Dragoncon.

@KeraRolsen I’m glad you didn’t die. I don’t know you, but I feel like o do. I’d miss you and your internet musings. You’re an amazing, open person. The world is a better place with you.

@KeraRolsen You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing this. I’m 2 months away from taking command, and it’s been a hectic last four years - thank you for the reminder to look after myself and my family.

@KeraRolsen Army Brat here. Wow! THANK YOU for sharing & your continued service. Here you're teaching that part of that service includes caring for oneself. A vivid reminder that listening to our bodies & securing ones own oxygen mask first is imperative & essential for continued service.

@KeraRolsen Sounds like a familiar story. I felt like a salmon struggling to swim up stream knowing what was likely at the end. And the day you walk out the gate the mission continues. Glad you wrote this.

@KeraRolsen As a fellow Airman I not only respect your journey and your decisions but also the “I am fine I can keep going” attitude. Good for you. It took me a long time to listen to my “pull up” warnings as well and while I didn’t go through what you did it wasn’t pretty. Respect!!