Happy Captain
@EODHappyCaptain
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not an official Army account | I tweet about the Army and dad things | Dad to a toddler who loves TV shows I hate (except Bluey) | views are my own, not DoD.
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Joined August 2021
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It's the best time of the week! Time for another episode of It's A Blast Podcast!
This week, I am talking about the Army's Harding Project (
@_HardingProject
) and online mentorship with the author's of a paper titled, Drink, Think, Link: Guiding Online Mentorship.
Give it a…
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Guy, my toddler left his toy at an
@IHGhotels
while traveling. We called them, and they said they would get it in the mail for us. This morning I opened my email and had this from them:
Please repost and help them get some recognition for awesome customer service!
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I joined the Army on a 3 year contract. I had no desire then to make the military my career. I had a bad GPA, no degrees, and no real prospects. 15 years later the Army has paid for my associates and bachelors. I have a 6 figure job. I own a house. The Army gave me opportunity.
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There is zero chance anyone else’s official photo goes this hard. This is awesome, and I am happy there is a way forward for Soldiers to be able to honor their culture in Uniform.
If you know a Native American Soldier who wants to grow their traditional hair, or gain approval to wear regalia items in uniform for appropriate ceremonies, please have them reach out to Major Patrick Sorensen for assistance and guidance.
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Imagine being a deployed service member and having to contact Netflix every seven days to ensure you can keep using a service that you already pay for because you’re not “home.”
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@DiscussingFilm
I’m from the same area as him. Bumped into him at the grocery store one time. He had a full cart of items, I had one. He looked at me. I looked at him. He asked if I wanted to cut him in line. I asked him if was William Dafoe. We both said yes and went on with our lives.
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I bet this shirt would sell out
Two unsuspecting Airmen called to bridge to meet the captain. Cookie offered. Their C-2 squadron beach det wanted to shock them from afar. It worked.
Message to beach: “Enjoying the boat!”
Sent back to their Plane Captain duties with a challenge coin (for their troubles).
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I’m always perplexed at why people who are out of the military care so much about administrative policy changes within the service. Let us have our 12 weeks of parental leave, and you have another beer at your VFW. It’ll be ok.
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You are a Houthi rebel. You have just conducted a strike. You rush to Social Media to see the damage you have done. There is a photo of a dog, and sailors eating cookies. You have failed.
I have to say, I love having Captain Demo around. This furry sailor regularly puts smiles on people’s faces. Just need a spare napkin sometimes…
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@DiscussingFilm
imagine never seeing the DVD version and seeing the second one, trying to figure out what you missed.
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This is why military leaders being on Social Media matters.
This Captain is able to simultaneously command the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower (CVN-69), take care of his Sailors, fight the enemy, and project American power, all while posting online and showing our citizens what it is…
Unsuspecting Petty Officer rolls out of rack, told to report to bridge. Handed cookie and put in the captain’s chair.
Me: Your wife says it’s your anniversary. You call her?
Him: Uh, yessir.
Me: Good man.
Him: Tell her I love her and miss her.
Goes back to night jet maintenance.
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Given all the talk of Aliens, this is your reminder that Battle: Los Angeles (2011) may be one of the greatest military movies ever made.
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PSA: Today is the last day of the global war on terrorism. If you have any more terrorists to war on, please wait until it’s authorized again.
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Yesterday parts of the US south experienced wetbulb temperatures up to
94F. At these temperatures, no amount of shade or hydration can save you.
Without AC, you die. And this is just the beginning.
Anyways, here's a picture of me in Afghanistan when it was 113° real feel
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Every commander (regardless of Echelon) should be required to be placed on meal card and live in the barracks for 2 weeks prior to command. I bet 100%, of washers would be working and the food on the Friday after payday in the DFAC would be exquisite.
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When your job is to shoot down missiles/drones and hand out cookies, but you’re all out of cookies:
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I post a lot of fun stuff on here, but on a serious note: if you have deployed and aren’t on the burn pit registry, you should enroll. You may be healthy now. Even 10 years from now. But there is no way to know the lasting impact/effects of what you were exposed to.
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Most of the time, the wires in an IED are all the same color.
YOU THERE. YES, YOU.
WHAT'S A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION THAT WOULD MAKE OTHER PEOPLE LOSE THEIR SHIT?
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I don’t think the average American appreciates just how young the average service member is. I was arguably older than many when I deployed as an EOD Team Leader to Afghanistan when I was 24.
The amount of responsibility that we place on young Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and…
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The first time I saw a CW5, I was a young Private. I had no idea what his rank was so I went and asked. I had seen the black blocks before, but never a pencil thin line.
Me: sir, I have no idea what your rank is.
Him: I’m a CW5.
Me: is that a big deal?
Him: not as big as…
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Today I am Remembering Aaron Merritt
I showed up to my unit a couple of weeks before they deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. EOD Teams are comprised of three people: A Team Leader, and two Team Members. Aaron was my teammate. He taught me how to be a good EOD tech. He kept me…
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If you could ask this man one question, what would it be?
When I talk to him I’ll ask him the best one from you guys.
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I’ll probably never be as cool as I was in my early 20s, and that’s ok. At least I got some cool pictures along the way. What’s your favorite picture of yourself in which you feel totally cool?
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It's not that new Soldiers are "woke," or that we have a "kinder, gentler Army." To the contrary, we have the most lethal army ever. It's just that we take care of our mental health. There's nothing wrong with killing the enemy AND talking about how we feel. it's called balance.
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“I’m a rebel,” I whisper to myself as I drive to my government job, drinking Starbucks, as I blast Rage Against the Machine.
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One of my fondest memories of chow in Afghanistan is when the logistics helicopter dropped off two five gallon containers of strawberry ice cream.
The Freezer container had stopped working that morning, so everyone on the COP gathered around and destroyed 10 gallons of ice…
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When the 1SG has a signed copy in their office, you know they mean business.
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Not every Soldier joins the Army to do 20 years and retire and that is ok. What is not ok is treating Soldiers who are in the process of getting out poorly, simply because they are getting out.
every person who serves, whether for 2 years or 20, has given our country their time,…
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National Guard Annual Training is one of my favorite times of the year on social media. It’s when Soldiers get their best training for the year, and the civilian population thinks they are being invaded.
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Show another job where you can have this much responsibility while you’re still a teenager.
Whether you do 3 years or 30, the military sets you up for a lifetime of success.
A professional warrior sailor, just 19 years old, takes the helm of a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier. Like so many young warriors on this warship, she keeps us on course every day.
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Unpopular Opinion: Doing 22 push-ups a day to “bring awareness to veteran and Soldier suicide” doesn’t do anything. Everyone, including civilians, are aware. What prevents suicide, in and out of the ranks, is picking up the phone and talking to friends and treating people well.
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Gather around! its time for a story about leadership, chow and taking care of people.
While in Afghanistan, my EOD team worked nonstop. We had it down to a science and rolled out regularly with our Infantry platoons. In the beginning of July, we had not run an IED in a couple of…
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A hardcore military training program for civilians, but it’s just picking up brass on a range all day and being told you don’t have enough until you break emotionally
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Training matters, a 🧵: When I was deployed in 2013, our 3 man team lived across from a mortar section of 6 people. Their squad leader was a SGT who couldn’t have been more than 22. Every night and every day I would hear him scream “fire mission!” 1/6
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Im convinced that being a cook is the hardest job in the Army. Early mornings, long hours, and hot kitchens. If the food is bad photos go all over social media. If it’s good, no one comments. There are some awesome DFACs out there that don’t get enough credit.
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If this hurricane makes landfall on the east coast next week, it’ll be the furthest north anything named Lee has ever made it.
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Be Brilliant in the Basics
The first time that I did Tactical Combat Causality Care (TCCC) was after an Afghan National Army vehicle directly in front of our truck hit an IED. It wasn't a little IED, either. Of the five occupants inside, two were still alive.
I pulled the…
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@DiscussingFilm
This will allow Disney to create a short where Social Anxiety meets all the different types of Anxieties at a family reunion
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All that training paid off. It saved lives. They removed a threat from the battlefield and we didn’t receive IDF for the next 40 days. No one in that section was over 22. 6/6
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The Army should run a series of ads of Soldiers who did 2-4 years in the service and succeeded in the civilian world. Show me a person who’s 23 and has more leadership experience than his civilian peers. The military doesn’t stall your life, it propels it.
Surveys intended to understand the Army's recruiting problems found that young people don't see it as a safe place or good career path. Army leaders said few were deterred by “wokeness,” and that concerns about discrimination were seen as a bigger issue.
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Please, don’t do this to your people. There are incredibly few things that would prevent a leader from breaking away for 10-15 minutes to celebrate a Soldier’s accomplishments.
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Before an operational deployment I was checking my Soldier’s stuff and a massive bag of googly eyes fell out. I didn’t think anything of it. 4 months into the rotation, every command board had googly eyes on it, from the BDE CDR to the working dog. They never caught the culprit.
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I can usually determine When a Veteran served by their caffeine and nicotine choices:
Pre 9/11: Black Coffee and Marlboros
2001-2015: Monster and Copenhagen
2016-Present: Bang and Zyn
What did I miss?
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My favorite Army tradition is picking the worst public speaker to read an award, while everyone stands awkwardly at attention.
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@rawsalerts
Now would be a good time to look up your local police/EMS non emergency number and have it in case you need it.
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I deployed to Afghanistan in 2010 for the surge, less then a month after I graduated EOD School. My EOD Team Leader at the time wasn't planning on me being on his team.
When I showed up to the unit, he was on leave. He came and picked me up from the barracks and took me to his…
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Things That Should Be Hard In The Military:
- PT
- Realistic, Dynamic Training
- Preparing for a Promotion Board
- Passing Selection for a Special Mission Unit
Things That Shouldn’t Be Hard:
- Having a Decent Place to Live
- Having Regular Access to Food
- Taking…
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If Soldiers choose not to attend a non-mandatory military ball and then have to do extra work or are denied passes, the ball is, in fact, mandatory.
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If you don't send your people home on emergency leave, or allow them to be present at major life events using leave that they earned, they will not only resent you, but also the the Army as a whole. They won't stay in. They will tell everyone they know to stay away from the…
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Wife: how are you able to drive for 16 hours straight with just coffee and Lady Gaga?
Me: the Army gave me a very special set of skills
The Army:
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Somewhere at Burning Man, there is a retired Sergeant Major yelling at people to change their socks and conserve water, and going insane because no one is listening to them.
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If you find out a high profile visitor is coming to your installation and your first thought is “we need to fix the barracks before they see them,” then you’re doing the whole leadership thing wrong.
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Readers, I can assure you: This will not work.
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Just ate lunch at the Air Force dining facility on base. Custom made pasta station. Sandwich bar. Protein bowl station with measured macros. Regular lunch line. This should be the standard for everyone, not just Airmen.
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The “I’d punch a Drill Sergeant in the face” crew, fail to realize that the military is a team sport. Sure, you could probably punch ONE of them, but you probably couldn’t punch ALL of them, and that’s what you would need to do.
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Who is a legend within your community that the average person would recognize right away?
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Cats, much like dogs, can be trained to sniff for explosives. The key difference is that cats won't tell you when they find them because it's not their problem.
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Once you have a DD214 you are required, by law, to tell everyone the military was harder when you served
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Although military members will get backpay in the event of a government shutdown, it does not help the junior Soldier with a family that lives paycheck to paycheck. Make sure that your Soldiers are tracking the choices that are available to them, so that they are not dealing with…
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My Army brain is trying to process a full quesadilla bar at the dining facility. Only in the Air Force.
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Last one standing gets a Pizza Party from the SECDEF
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This is the only Car Bomb most people on Twitter should be talking about, based on their experience.
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Drop a cool photo that someone took of you doing your job.
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Sure office life may not be as fun as field time with your Soldiers, but have you ever forwarded an email back to the person who accused you of not sending it?
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Everyone watching the Napoleon trailer: this looks wildly inaccurate. Why do historical movies these days have to be so full of nonsense
My dad, a Napoleonic War Historian:
this movie looks awesome. Can’t wait to see him shoot the pyramids.
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Military online training is wild. It’s like, “Linda from HR recently came into a lot of money and didn’t buy the office lunch. Do you: A. Congratulate her or
B. Report her to CID for being an insider threat”
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BREAKING: Army Combatives to be taught by Waffle House employees.
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10 years ago today, I was rendering safe IEDs on a stretch of road in Afghanistan that I was sure was going to be the death of me. It was walled on both sides creating a choke point and a great spot to place IEDs. I probably cleared 20 of em on this 300m stretch over 2 months.
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The giant field exercise know as Burning Man proves that logistics, planing, and alternate routes matter more than people give them credit for. Also the ability to walk five miles to safety.
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The military not being able to pass an audit makes no sense to me since they always kick back my travel voucher for being wrong by 2 cents.
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I don’t know how to break this to people, but all Soldiers put their hands in their pockets when no one is looking. Sometimes even when people are looking.
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Pulling a new Soldier away from the car dealership when they are about to buy a Charger for 27% APR.
The possum was very unhappy about being pulled away from the football field.
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In the early British Army, officers would purchase their commissions. This tradition carries on today with American Soldiers buying their degrees from Phoenix University and going to OCS, and I think that’s Beautiful.
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In 2013 I was outside of my truck conducting demo operations when I was ambushed by accurate RPK fire. I tried to sprint back to the vehicle but outcome was unlikely until a young SPC in a gun turret identified and neutralized the threat. For saving my life, he was given…a coin
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Regardless of the story, I honestly feel bad for this Private that ran into North Korea. There is about a 100% chance that things are not going the way he thought they were going to.
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EOD is a science. Precise. Calculated. Also, we poke things with long sticks when unsure.
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My favorite Army paradox is how there is no money to send you TDY or to a school but on September 30th we have to spend 50k dollars
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Happy Monday! As a prior enlisted officer, It’s time to "erode the esteem, legitimacy and distinct culture of the officer corps like merchants marrying into the aristocracy."
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Leadership is about people. It can be Something as simple as showing your appreciation for those that work for you.
@ChowdahHill
has it figured out. More leaders should take a page from his book on how it’s done.
Unsuspecting Petty Officer called to bridge after fixing computer accounts. She works IT. Given cookie and placed in the Captain’s chair.
Me: Mom says she loves you.
Her: Thanks mom. The cookie was the best part of my day, but this chair is terrifying!
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Here I am, as a 23 year old SGT in Afghanistan after removing an IED from the battlefield.
Young? Yes.
Inexperienced? Absolutely not.
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We have a three day workweek ahead of us. The only emails being sent out should be to cancel meetings.
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My kid’s stuffed dog dog is living a life most of us could only dream of.
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Pitch: a two hour movie about an infantry platoon sitting around waiting for EOD, pulling security and talking about their lives. The movie ends with them still waiting for EOD, providing room a Sequel
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EOD when the infantry tells us they shot the IED and blew it up instead of waiting for us.
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The biggest lie in the military is that if you work through lunch, you get to go home early.
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If a Soldier wants to reenlist for a school and you say no, you’ve made a choice that makes no mathematical sense. It costs between 55k to 74k to send a recruit through basic training. It costs between 3 and 5 thousand to send a Soldier to a school such as Airborne or Air Assault
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Anytime I see posts putting people down based on their job in the military, I am reminded that a Light Wheeled Mechanic, assigned to 3rd SFG (A), was posthumously awarded the Silver Star and Purple Heart for "disrupting the enemy's freedom of movement , and killing several enemy…
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My grandfather passed away peacefully surrounded by family on Halloween. He was part of the famed 65th Infantry Regiment during the Korean War (for which they earned the Congressional Gold Medal) and would later serve in Vietnam. He lived a full happy life. He will be missed.
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Wife: notice anything different about the living room?
Me, a bomb tech trained to notice the smallest changes to my environment, who noticed nothing different about the living room:
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When I went to college right after HS, I had a commendable 2.2 GPA. When I went back in my 30s I had a 4.0. Being in the Army gave me great study habits and attention to detail that made college later in life a breeze, plus the GI Bill; I didn’t have to worry about money.
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GS employees when the government passes a last minute budget and they have to cancel their trip to Disney and be at work on Monday.
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