Justin Gideon
@JustinGideon
Followers
621
Following
1,928
Media
2,040
Statuses
34,658
Nothing I say on here should be taken seriously. All of my cries for help are done cryptically through letters to the mayors office
Joined April 2011
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Dude is operating at a level never before seen. What a privilege it is to be able to share the same generation as this man.
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@NewSovietPoster
What are the odds that her exact shoe size is her lucky shoe size that’s incredible
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@BrotherofDuck
@sarahbeth345
@JoelWBerry
If every woman you’ve dated is miserable that might be a you problem buddy
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@ClownWorld_
The only person who didn’t want Elon to buy twitter was Elon. He was sued into it lmfao
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@chrism70kc
@MLB
@nikediamond
@Royals
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@astros
I swear people just get mad at stuff for the sake of getting mad cause this doesn’t even remotely make sense
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I love that Jess films all my at bats but someone please tell her to stop yelling WHIFF every time I swing and miss
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I got the vaccine because I’d rather live living
Unvaccinated NFL player rips league's COVID-19 rules: "I'd rather die living"
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@RetiredEnginerd
@TheOnion
@TeslaAIBot
@elonmusk
@mayemusk
I’m sure you’re a great guy and there’s nothing inherently wrong with being into tech or whatever but Elon musk is not your buddy
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@CodifyBaseball
This will also be my favourite. Bob Uecker catching fly balls in BP with a tuba
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My greatest accomplishment in my life occurred in grade 6 when I spread a rumour at school that I could identify the brand of a chocolate chip cookie blindfolded by just tasting and the next day like 5 people brought me cookies
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#WorldCancerDay
When you beat cancer but then decide to downgrade mans. What is u doin
@_jessicadunn
? She may be the strongest person I know but she dumb as hell.
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I am going to go to this restaurant to cry and shit my pants, as I often did in 1995
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There's a guy outside brock with a sign that says "finished your undergrad? Time to get under brad" lmaooo
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If you have a comedy show and one of the characters is often referenced as “the funny one” you may not have a good comedy show
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Can't bus students to the baseball field (5.4km from Brock) but can bus them to Laurier (139km from Brock).
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I went to the grocery store specifically for hashbrowns and this is what I saw when I pulled into the parking lot... I believe in god now
#godsplan
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if this tweet gets 700 likes i will text my landlord "What is the telephone number for the fire department?"
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How many nazi and confederate flags do you need to see before deciding it’s time to leave your peaceful protest
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This Victoria fashion show is hardly secret if it's being televised on basic cable
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Jays fans who don’t watch baseball are PISSED
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I accidentally commented on a genuine boomer post thinking it was in “the group where we all pretend to be boomers” and now the millennials are cyber bullying me
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Just found out I'm a finalist for Baseball Ontario Player of the Year. what an honour it is to be nominated.
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Every time Jess tells me she wants something I add it to a list of stuff to get for her birthday and then 10 minutes later I get a text from her saying she bought it
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Just named 2013 Ontario Baseball Player of The Year. What an incredible honour.
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are we all just going to stand by and do nothing about those 45 second videos on facebook that are just a screenshot of a stolen tweet? why is it a video? it literally makes no sense. This is how im using my first 280 tweet because I believe this is an issue that runs much deeper
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Jess: im breaking up with you
me: i'll take you for pho.
Jess: ok fine, I'll break up with you after pho
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Ever since apple came out with the 🥺 emoji my girlfriend has gotten everything she wants smh
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Truly honoured and blessed to be a part of the worst umpiring call in the history of baseball 🙏🙏🙏
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I'm going to be a good dad, I have practice cleaning up after my roommates all the fucking time
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When you love someone you do things you never thought you’d do. Like doing homework in a Starbucks. Or going to a Starbucks. Or doing homework.
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sign at the pants store says "take 50% off" wouldn't they just be shorts? Now that I have made the best tweet I officially announce my retir
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@JordanUhl
My “Australian Timezones” map has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my map.
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I can’t tell you how long I’ve been looking for this video
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😈😈I’m on that student 👨🎓 ✏️ 📝 athlete 🏃 🏈 grind 😈😈 💪 I’m up 🚨 so early I just ate tomorrow’s breakfast 🥞 🥓 🥚 🍳 John 3:16
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Why do we wipe our ass every time after we poop? We don’t brush our teeth after every meal. Should be once before bed in my opinion. It is bold visions like this that I will bring to the table, which is why today I am asking for your support in the next federal election.
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Matt Walsh has built his entire career on being Mr Hot Takes at the expense of ever making a valid point. Truly one of the dumbest guys in every room he’s in
A dude with no experience in track rolled off his couch and held his own against a D1 female track star. This proves exactly the opposite of what you're trying to prove.
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I feel like my tweets would get a lot more likes if people realize I’m actually saying this stuff in a funny little voice
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When he texts you "we need to talk" at 1:00pm and he doesn't respond for 10 hours
http://t.co/NpMgEY2PQH
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Can’t think of a reason why this video wasn’t 3 seconds longer
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