I Am Curious (Yellow Magic Orchestra)
@BvrlyTweetmaker
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There's always barber college. (he/him)
Chicago
Joined May 2011
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36 IBU's? Dude, do you even Alt?
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I've been as critical of Lori Lightfoot as anybody, but loaning her suit to Fetterman for his orientation was a class move.
Pennsylvania Senator-Elect John Fetterman has arrived at the Capitol for new member orientation wearing a suit and tie.
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If I'm Bryan Cranston I'm pretty pissed off at IndieWire for this headline:
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Possibly the only thing funnier than this Onion article is all the Elon stans losing their shit in the replies
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Chicago is ready for Mexico vs. Poland. Are you?
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The 4 political neighborhoods of Chicago
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Your Trump advisor name is your first pet's name plus the last name of the first Nazi you can think of besides Hitler.
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RT if you're way more fucking scared of our current government than any refugees seeking asylum in the US.
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With Morocco conquering Spain AND Portugal in a span of only four days, I'd like to congratulate the Moors for playing the longest long game in the history of western civilization
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Thank you
@chancetherapper
for saying what so many of us in Illinois are thinking.
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Just saw a car with the license plate GODSLAW and I choose to interpret that as somebody who thinks their coleslaw is so good that it is has achieved divine status
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As a proud member of
#TeamButts
, I need to know if this impacts the status of butts in any way. Please help me out,
@nypost
.
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Tired: The Simpsons predicted it.
Wired: The Kids In The Hall predicted it.
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@ManuclearBomb
Honorable mention to every time something not actually flammable has exploded
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BREAKING: Multiple sources reporting Shohei Ohtani drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.
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I've yet to see anything on this NASCAR race that I haven't seen driving on the Dan Ryan at 2am
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This isn't due to the crime situation in Chicago. This is due to BoA's corporate officers being rich, entitled and out of touch.
BREAKING: Due to the crime situation in Chicago, Bank of America is now offering corporate office staff security escorts to and from public transportation
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@IwriteOK
So totally agree it was a hell of an instinct but also am I correct that a woman passed by jogging and then CAME BACK to chase after the bobcat???
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I'm sure you're all as shocked as I am to discover that the CPD officer who was wearing the Three Percenter mask has cost the city almost half a mil in police misconduct settlements
#DefundThePolice
#DefundCPD
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@AConcernedPare2
@SupiotUgo
@AriDrennen
@MissFloridiana
A "concerned parent" whose Twitter bio literally starts with "education" and yet they don't know that the Holocaust didn't start until the '40s. It's almost like it's never been about education.
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A relative posted on FB that she can't wait to leave Chicago and it's taking all the willpower I have to not respond with "dude you live in fucking Hickory Hills"
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If Catherine O'Hara did this on
@SchittsCreek
I'd be like "don't you think that's a little over-the-top?"
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January 2020 // November 2020
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When the piano players at Howl at the Moon start playing Sweet Caroline
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Chaotic bisexuals may seem like a cute idea when they're stealing your hoodie, but they grow up!
Kyrsten Sinema: Not a Republican, not a Democrat, not an Independent, just a messy bitch who lives for drama
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This is a good day to remind everybody that if you don't want people to say mean things about you when you die, don't be a piece of shit when you're alive.
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This afternoon is a good time to remind folks that if you don't want people speaking ill of you when you die you should try not being an asshole when you're alive
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If you're a Chicagoan and you're rooting for France over Poland, QT this with the annual tuition of your kid's private school
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Last night we watched
@adamconover
's Reanimated History episode that talked about the Spanish flu. TWO YEARS AGO he was talking about how slashing funding for CDC was risking a disastrous response to the next pandemic.
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We were warned that this would happen if we elected a progressive mayor
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It's total bullshit that we've pushed to get bars and restaurants open but then don't include servers and other employees in the 1b category
@GovPritzker
@LoriLightfoot
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It is fucking unconscionable for Mayor Emanuel to propose a 30¢/gal gas tax as mayor of a city with little affordable housing near its job centers and the poorest neighborhoods have the shittiest public transportation.
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You all know we know that "anti-woke" is just another word for asshole, right?
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A school in Lombard--20 miles outside of Chicago--canceled a game against a team in Oak Park, because of "current events" in Chicago that aren't really even happening. Okay.
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Lightfoot out here getting schooled by a hot dog stand
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There's irrefutable evidence of self-harm/suicide rates in the trans community but yeah let's ignore all that in favor of speculative fears that have yet to be documented
It's so weird when transphobes make slippery-slope arguments because the future they're warning us about has been the status quo for decades.
You don't have to show ID to use a bathroom or changing room! Trans women can already go to lesbian bars!
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With their new kits, Crystal Palace would like to remind everybody that they're essentially the real-life AFC Richmond
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Democrats aren't gonna save us, pt. 3,472:
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On this 4/20, a friendly reminder that if your call for legalization doesn't include a call for justice for people of color, the poor and others who have been disproportionately impacted by the War on Drugs, then your call for legalization sucks.
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@lib_crusher
Even more odd is the fact that nobody has been charged in the Shake Shack hoax OR this one, despite Bill Melugin's assurance that the cops would never make up something like this because doing so would be a crime.
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This is the math of the politicization of trans rights: a few will suffer incalculable pain so that many can avoid minimal discomfort, all in a calculated effort to secure power for a handful of elites
Sen. Berg, who lost her transgender son Henry to suicide earlier this year, is still crying at her seat after the SB 150 vote.
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@RottenInDenmark
The true mark of equality is when the queer community gets its own Andy Rooney
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What drew me to libertarianism was the idea that it was a content-neutral philosophy that you could apply unemotionally. One thing that drove me away was realizing that the "neutral" philosophy seemed to consistently benefit wealthy white folks
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I cannot stress enough that you need to be just as skeptical--actually MORE skeptical--of shit on twitter that validates your worldview than you do of stuff that challenges it
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FWIW, I don't blame the Cubs for doing what they're doing now. Trading everybody and building up the farm system is absolutely the right move. I blame the Cubs for letting the team wither for the past three seasons and getting to this point in the first place.
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@MorganEliseJ
I love seeing people's faces when I start rattling off the cities with more murders per capita than Chicago and I get to PEORIA 😂😂😂
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@Black90Prupayne
Do you really have no sympathy for a woman who accidentally bought a car that was not only sentient but also homicidal? I have a priest perform an exorcism on every car I buy just to be safe and even still I worry every time I get behind the wheel
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Apparently our boy Conor has a very creative way of interpreting context
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The funniest thing about artists pulling out of
@Spotify
is that it's so much more likely to turn into an avalanche because Spotify pays so little to the artists that there's hardly any incentive NOT to leave the platform. You love to see it.
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Nothing makes me more confident about the future of Chicago than knowing that Matt Yglesias is worried about it
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@RottenInDenmark
I don't want to call anybody illiterate but I feel like if you've ever written, like, ANYTHING you can see how that's not how fucking plagiarism works
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Super huge thanks to my friend Lisa at
#TheQuiltersTrunk
on Western Ave. for stitching a 1908
@Cubs
patch onto a cardigan for me so I can look dapper as shit the next time I'm at Wrigley. (And thanks to
@UniWatch
for the DIY inspiration.)
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As fucked up as shit is right now, just imagine if Rauner were still governor.
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All Joe Buck hatred should rightfully be directed toward Thom Brennaman.
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Chicago: convincing assholes to go live somewhere else since 1833.
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Crazy fact about Bridgeport and racism... House music was born in part because legendary producer Vince Lawrence was jumped there as a teen for being black in Bridgeport, and used the settlement money from the connected white kid who jumped him to buy his first synthesizer.
lots of racist history in bridgeport -- the hamburg club of white youths. they weren't called gangs. because, well, they were white. richard j. daley was a member. ties to 1919 race riots.
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I like how the one time the conservative wing throws the liberal justices a bone is when somebody's still gonna die either way
Roberts and Kavanaugh join the 3 liberals for a 5-4 decision by Kagan that leaves more of an open door for people on death row to challenge their method of execution. (This is Nance v. Ward.)
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You guys... there's fucking video of this!!!
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It's like you're out to dinner with friends and half the table wants pepperoni pizza and the other half wants spinach and some idiot that nobody will admit to inviting is like "let's put aside our differences and just keep eating the complimentary bread"
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I am once again reminding local media that the south side also has neighborhoods with names and you can use them in headlines just like you do when you report on the north side
A woman is dead after she was shot multiple times while standing next to a car on Chicago's South Side.
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This came across my TL today and I'm really having a hard time figuring out where the line is between not ignoring the extremism of the right while also not elevating social media trolls to more than they actually are
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Lee Ho Fook closed in 2008. Now this in 2022. London's really playing the long game with its werewolf abatement program.
BREAKING! Hilton is reportedly evicting global tiki bar landmark Trader Vic's from its 59-year London home next month.
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People who live outside of Chicago: where do you go to buy a bottle of Malört, two cans of RC, a bag of Jays Hot Stuff and a jar of giardiniera?
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I like how finding all sorts of ties to right-wing extremists is just "traditional campaign machinations and revelations" in the eyes of the Trib
From the Editorial Board:
We have not wavered in our support of Paul Vallas, despite the traditional campaign machinations and revelations. Though we acknowledge Brandon Johnson’s energy, passion and intelligence, we endorse Vallas again in the runoff.
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Look, people can have reasonable disagreements about economic policy, foreign policy, etc. But there's no "both sides" to antisemitism. It's fucking terrified that we've gotten to the point where politicians can say stuff like this and still remain viable candidates.
Put these two statements together and think about where this is going.
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Just unfollowed somebody for saying mashed potatoes suck. A man's gotta have a code.
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How is it that when the Cubs traded for Chapman and Quintana they had to give up all our top farm talent, but now we've traded Darvish, Bryant, Rizzo, Kimbrel and Baez and somehow the best we got was the Mets'
#5
prospect?
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I've had two people at Menards stop me and ask if I work here. Man do I LOOK like I work here???
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I am relieved to report that I somehow managed to get lunch in this crime-ridden hellscape, without private security, and I have lived to tell the tale
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When you declare a white guy the taco king of a city with a Mexican population of half a million 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
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If you're a guy and don't know women who are into sports, it's probably because you're an asshole and they don't want to hang out with you.
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Hey
@DickDurbin
, you're good with this? Duly noted, you worthless sack of ketchup packets
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Seeing Commonwealth friends tweet about Boxing Day is a good reminder of how America is trash when it comes to our work fetishism. Wanna make America great? Start by giving us some vacation time in the same ballpark as Europe.
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Eight Men Out is gonna be really short and really confusing without the Sox scenes.
Get rid of s*x scenes in movies. Society has moved past the need for s*x scenes in movies
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@IwriteOK
That video is social media's answer to a Rembrandt painting where you can focus on each subject and they each tell their own story
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Jim Caviezel saying he "refuses to" work with Robert De Niro is like me saying I refuse to work with Riley Reid
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I bet there's a special place in hell for that "Bartman for President" guy, and it's called Cleveland.
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How 2020 started // how it's ending
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The greatest trick that the devil ever pulled is convincing people that a Keurig machine is an upgrade from a basic $20 drip coffeemaker
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Quick shout-out to the bars/breweries like
@MetroBrewing
that have been requiring proof of vaccination for months now
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HOW THE FUCK DID NOBODY GET THIS RIGHT????????
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BREAKING: After watching A Princess Bride, my kids have declared it's now tied with A League of Their Own for their favorite movie.
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I love that for the second election in a row, Chicago chose hope over fear. And I love that why booted out Lori's ass when she failed to deliver, so Brandon knows we'll be holding him to his word.
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Holy shit this reminds me of some of the press conferences that took place in the early days of the AIDS crisis. A toxic mixture of denial and just not giving a shit.
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When you've heard somebody say "it's great to be alive" every day for years, it's easier to accept their passing because you know they made the most of their time here.
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And just to be clear there are times where I think the "are suburbanites Chicagoans?" question is stupid, but when it's conservative suburbanites complaining about Lori Lightfoot or Chicago crime 🤔🤔🤔
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