liz 🇵🇸
@okaygreatfine
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ranked number one in customer satisfaction by jd power and associates. here to remind you that you should be flossing regularly
New York, USA
Joined June 2009
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Pinned Tweet
joel osteen in a cold sweat watching the weather channel wondering if he’s going to be bullied into being a christian again
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7 year old at the airport: I like your hat
me: thank you
7 y/o: does the h stand for hat
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Just a reminder: your sports team’s failures are a direct reflection of your personality defects
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Obsessed with this ad. Anne Hathaway from the Les Mis movie with two completely detached and insane sentences. It’s like a work of dada art
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so close! that is a hat 💕
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come ON man lol
@icum4mao
@BolsonaroSP
9/11 claimed my mothers life… so I’m blocking so I don’t ever have to read this again.
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I see your AI doomerism and raise you Toby Keith praising Mao Zedong
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I cannot believe people with college degrees thought that a global day of jihad was real
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love having an inane tweet about an interaction I had in airport security get replies from people with the user names like "stuart846328794" or "burritoslut" telling me I'm a horrible person
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The thing that’s crazy about this rally is that everyone who attended is going to hell when they die
Thousands of people at today’s rally against homeless shelter at Brooklyn 2501 86th street organized by
@AMWilliamColton
and
@susanzhuangnyc
. They want “NO MORE SHELTER”, have you heard of them
@NYCSpeakerAdams
@NYCCouncil
@NYCMayor
?
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Ohhhhh my god you’ve been to all 30 ballparks? should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party?should we invite bella hadid
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sorry gang it can’t be me that berates him this time, I did it two years ago
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men will literally accuse the astros of flying a plane around fenway park to steal signs instead of going to therapy
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Alright guys, tonight’s picks sponsored by FanDuel:
Ippei to prison 5-9 years (+270)
Ippei to prison 10-20 years (+135)
Shohei actually has a gambling problem (-320)
Dodgers void contract (-185)
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he is the Perfect Athlete
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Nice! Pic unrelated don’t know how to delete
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@tacocat_tweets
yeah it's amazing how quickly I was like "oh haha this was funny I'll tweet it" turned into I'm a horrible person for liking my hometown baseball team
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4.1 a masterclass? What are they doing to my beautiful game
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I would like to point out I tweeted this half an hour before first pitch
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Today we’re in a house that hasn’t been touched since August. The woman living here passed away while she was waiting on FEMA. As long as there is work to do,
@HoustonDSA
will be there. Help us continue:
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us: please just get rid of the nazis
twitter: quality filter instead
us: no really please, the nazis
twitter: longer posts? absolutely
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Thank you, BaseballHistoryNut, for the profound and thought-provoking post
Everytime Sydney Sweeney sees a camera near by:
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please remember to be kind to grocery store workers during this hellish time as you’re panic shopping
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Hurricane Harvey hit in August. Since then,
@HoustonDSA
has been providing direct and physical aid to those affected in our Houston community. Tonight I had some comrades over to finish filling out the last of the checks and addressing envelopes to provide monetary aid.
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now that joshua 4 congress is gone I’m happy to take on the task of posting things like “corporate greed is Bad” and getting 12.7k retweets
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@SVRGNapparel
I’ll ask my professors and get back with you. how’s your hunt for investors going?
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@crulge
I’ve been so upset about this but also this tweet is how I found out that she was found!! Ahhh
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mr met just took a break from playing candy crush on his phone to tase me for fare evasion
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A physical program but a QR to get to the program notes r u kidding me
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REGGIE!!! YOU FORGOT TO LOGIN TO YOUR BURNER!!!! REGGIE NO!!!
My account was hacked. I have changed my password. I apologize for anything that came from my account it was not me.
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If you’re going to donate, the Red Cross is arguably one of the worst places to send it. Find a mutual aid fund.
It will take all of us coming together and doing what we can to help those in need in Maui and Lāhainā right now. I hope you’ll join me in donating to the Hawai'i Red Cross today:
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lmfao
@AzmatZahra
@peterbakernyt
We are canceling our Twitter Space on the civilian toll of the Iraq war because of technical difficulties.
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Your 280 character tweets are bad and look like trash. Seriously, folks. I don’t understand why you think you would need that much space to express your feelings. What is this, AP English? Is this a Beowulf paper? Am I your teacher? Come on. And another thing, I really think you
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😭😭😭😭😭
I have written on the Bob Menendez bribery charges with the nuance and gravity the situation deserves. I have an unusually stable brain and the thoughts I think with it are unwaveringly correct
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Dad pissed the drunk 20 year old at the renaissance festival doesn’t know about the Battle of Agincourt
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very cool that the president thinks that the onion for baylor freshmen is a credible news source
Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News via
@TheBabylonBee
Wow, this has never been done in history. This includes his really bad interview last night. Why is Twitter doing this. Bringing more attention to Sleepy Joe & Big T
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Not that a degree is a good litmus test, I know plenty of people with doctoral degrees that are stupid, but Jesus man lmao
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since january of this year I have lost 20 lbs, gotten my 5k under 25 min, increased my deadlift by about 50 lbs, and just ran a sub 7 min mile for the first time in my life. sorry for sincere posting but I’m feeling good 👍
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@chiweethegod
I saw this on linkedin and the woman was so proud (it’s cool!!) and some of the comments were just awful
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disney adults should be in prison
I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience | Commentary
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a lot of people yelling about this but solidarity with the waiter who knew they were rich and thought this would be funny
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@petersagal
women, if you’re not quite sure why you feel upset or icky or uneasy today because you don’t know how to define something that’s happened to you in the past - you’re not alone. solidarity with you.
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I went to the cuckolds lighthouse and everyone knew you
Current conditions at Cuckolds Lighthouse off of Newagan, Boothbay, Maine.
#coastalflooding
#Maine
#MEwx
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wile e coyote’s cover letter
I never ran over anyone with a car and I never hit anyone in the head with a frying pan. If I did that don't you think I would be in jail? All of these
#FakeNews
allegations have been dismissed by a judge and the people peddling these lies will PAY when I take them to court.(1/2)
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broke: baylor made some mistakes but they should be able to keep their football team
woke: baylor can still play but not in the big xii
bespoke: baylor’s football program should get the death penalty
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