timothy faust 🇵🇸
@crulge
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Go down any road far enough and you'll come to a slaughterhouse, but keep going and you'll reach the sea. healthcare newsletter: https://t.co/EcWbJjhzQY
Joined May 2008
This is unironically some of the most powerful political activity you can do.
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i wouldn't call this "funny" but Myers's Musk impression is really brutal.
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My friend/kidney recipient is doing very well, but noticed she was going to the bathroom at night a lot. She asked her doctors, and it turns out her new kidney is still operating on *my* schedule. How does that even work????? Bio-memory????.
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everyone who ever wrote a single "elon musk works 80–100 hours a week" story is a colossal rube.
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tim walz's "weird" comments were the closest anyone with a major platform has gotten to grabbing a MAGA freak by the collar and shouting "WHAT IS THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" and purely from a therapeutic standpoint it sucks that the consultant class clamped down on it.
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I miss these ladies, the vaccine-shaker ladies. Hard bit to keep up. A memento from a better time.
it was an emergency TEST and now I’m in the emergency ROOM! Coincidence???????
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All right! Big day ahead. Time to pack for the big murder. Gotta make sure to bring my jacket, and my almost but not quite identical jacket, and also my similar but even less identical jacket.
NYPD releases new photos of United HealthCare CEO Brian Thompson’s alleged assassin
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we've seen this exact same study .over.and over.and over.and over.and over again. At some point the "demand for further research" is a method by which ruling bodies decline to govern.
Researchers gave homeless people $750 per month for a year, no questions asked. The recipients spent the money on food, housing, transportation, clothing, and health care. And after six months, only 12% of those who received funds were still homeless.
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have any of these guys ever used a FUCKING computer before
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the other day my neighbor gave me a jar of her backyard beehive honey because I shovel her sidewalk. As I understand it this is how the economy will mostly function in about 6-7 months.
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my dad believes the ultimate status symbol a person can have is the size of their TV
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Nothing has ever been more wrong.
Reminder that 95° and humid is better than 20° and a wind chill.
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"hawk tuah" is not a "coworker meme." "Hawk tuah" is a "guy from high school" meme.
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R/boots identifies the boot model that slashed a poster’s car
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baptisms before going out to 'hunt' migrants at the border. Judge Holden ass country. Christofascism is real.
"Christ is king!" shouts a man after getting baptised at "God's Army" #borderconvoy he US Mexico border rally in Quemado Texas
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i need someone, anyone, the next time Elon says he works 20 hours a day 363 days a year, to ask him how he got a level 121 character in Elden Ring
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The Office gets eyerolled as the generic Tinder bio line but I think it used to have juice. Tricking Dwight into giving one of a Mussolini's speeches at a conference is still a really funny bit.
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Another cool thing about kidney donation is that the removed kidney has a sort of 'present absence' and now I'm aware of the position of my internal organs and can feel them moving around.
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Remember when Domino's had an ad campaign that was like "hey, you guys were right, our pizza sucks. But it's good now" and then it, like, got a lot better? That's the only example of "corporate responsibility" I can think of.
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Have the Korean protestors considered that by blocking the streets they’re actually alienating people who might otherwise be sympathetic to their cause?.
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And you’re paying for the train. And you’re paying for the conductor to teach cops in your city. And the people who you elected to allocate the suffering in your town, state, country salute the train in unison. And they call you an anti-Semite if you say “the train is bad.”.
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ALIEN: This. "Miller High Life", you said?—has been delicious. I have enjoyed consuming your planet's beverages. However, it appears the bottle is empty. What is the Earthling custom in this situation?.ME: You're not gonna believe this.
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I used to work with the guy who voiced Atlas, the main antagonist and primary voice actor, in Bioshock, a series that went on to sell 41 million copies. He was a serious actor in his 40s who was working a total grunt job with 21-y/o me because voice acting doesn't pay the rent.
SAG-AFTRA announced that it will seek authorization for a second strike against the major video game companies.
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from what i can tell it's because many of them are turning into various sorts of anxiety-driven incels.
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It seems to me that a big chunk of American pop culture started getting bland when people couldn't afford to live off the income of being, say, a delivery driver.
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very cool website
FYI there’s a fake account on here impersonating me and going viral. The Twitter CEO has engaged it, boosting visibility. It is releasing false policy statements and gaining spread. I am assessing with my team how to move forward. In the meantime, be careful of what you see.
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this guy rolls into my mentions once every two weeks to allege that me or someone else is an antisemite. anyway in his bio he's trying to shop this script.
@crulge So he was revealed to be an antisemite?.
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does Gmail. no longer support exact-phrase search?????????????????????
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Hope you guys have fun on the new social media app -- I cannot make it over there, as I am 37.
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i was wrong! nobody gives a hoot about an assassination attempt. the photo does not have staying power. What a world.
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Every time I attend a wedding I try to get the DJ to play "The Monster Mash." One time I took the bride's phone and texted the DJ with it. Another time I claimed I was the bride's brother and that it was a really important in-joke between the couple. I'm batting .700.
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CORPORATE DEI WEBINAR: If you meet someone from East Asia, you should avoid asking "So which kind are you?" . JACUZZI DEALERSHIP OWNER: Well, that's it. Time to start the Fourth Reich.
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[first 90 minutes of wife being out of town]: All right! Just me and the dogs and the PS5. Time for a boys' night!.[91 minutes later]: Miss my wife.
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I thought my dad's pickiness about how to load the dishwasher was ridiculous until I moved in with a beautiful woman whose approach the task, shall we say, reminds me of the Galveston beach I visited after Hurricane Ike.
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this image has been on my computer for 3 years and i never get to post it but when i first saw it i laughed so hard my dog woke up
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Project 2025 seems very, very bad, and frankly I'm jealous that one political party has a clear policy roadmap and it just happens to be the evil one.
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I do not think I will be hiring the 1-star sword swallower
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At a wrestling show in Chicago. They got a grunge themed guy named Steven Flowe whose theme song is “Even Flow” but all the lyrics are his name
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Watched a guy on my last flight scroll through every photo on his phone—first of his kids, then of his wife, then of someone whom, by how prominently her vulva was featured, I assume is his mistress.
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I built a plug-in for the Spotify app to help listeners like me respond appropriately to toxic music.
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no like they're *literally* imaginary friends
The "moderate voters" and "decent republicans" that the democratic establishment is obsessed with are literally just imaginary friends at this point. They do not fucking exist. listen to the actual members of your base or resign in shame.
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Noam Chomsky is both alive and dead. A true theorist of dialectics until the end.
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These people are literally one hundred million times richer than I’ll ever be but at least I’m not wearing a “NFL” jacket or a fucking Bitcoin sweatshirt in the Nirvana font.
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saw this photo of a Lower East Side apartment and thought "damn, that looks like it might be cheap, that's gotta be what, $2200 a month?" Then I checked and it was a photo from the Tenement Museum
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attn @elonmusk: remember how it felt when the audience at Dave Chapelle's show booed you? Remember how humiliated you felt? Five million people just did that to you, specifically. What are you going to do about it? Picture unrelated I can't figure out how to remove it
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never noticed it before but steve bannon is gavin newson's wario.
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By god. He pulled it off.
Planet of the Bass - Official Music Video (feat. Ms. Biljana Electronica)
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Can’t explain why but a Chiefs-Niners Super Bowl is an omen of a Trump victory in a November.
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The new Pope used to steal jokes for Twitter clout. Unreal.
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idea: 2PM - 6PM farmers market. Don't like waking up before 11 but i have evening plans.
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I can't emphasize it enough: Healthcare prices are fake. Never, ever pay the first bill in full. Make a good-faith effort and call the provider to get on the record a request for a reduced bill. This was for an urgent care visit while I was uninsured: from $420 to $102.
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feel kinda bad for this guy. he made one joke once, it was pretty funny, and now he has a life where he has to make that same joke every single day
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I’m sorry but people who treat Israel-Palestine as the deciding issue of the 2024 election are so fucking annoying. I get it if you’re literally Palestinian and/or personally affected but everyone else is such virtue signaling. Ukraine has ten times the casualties.
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As far as I can tell, a huge chunk of the economy depends on people being unable to pay off their credit card bills.
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The pursuit of eternal growth is bad for several reasons but one of them is scope creep. Patreon didn't need a total brand refresh. Docusign doesn't need 8,000 employees. Mattress companies don't need weekly newsletters.
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I know it was entirely predictable etc. but the liberals' rapid slide from "Abolish ICE!" to "We just need to do *something* about the illegals" is really a punch in the gut.
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once every two months Obama gets off his jetski to do an interview where he furrows his brow and says “damn check out all of these problems… you guys gotta chill out. Catch you next time” and then uses the Men in Black device on the interviewer so they forget the years 2008-2016.
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bunch of 22 year olds with asthma telling me that this only works if you have a gun. Listen I get what you're saying but you don't appreciate how motivated local politicians are by "not getting yelled at".
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Happy birthday to Gene Hackman, the inventor of DNA editing.
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Fucking insane. Big Ag actually made jalapeños less spicy—you’re not going nuts
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when someone runs an experiment asking "what happens if you give people some money" the answer is, without fail, "their life gets better." No amount of research validating and re-validating this will ever be enough for the politicians who demand suffering as penance for poverty.
new paper: the 2021 Child Tax Credit — which from July to Dec 2021 gave qualifying families up to $3,600 per child in auto monthly payments — not only appeared to “reduced child poverty by half” it also notably “improved the mental health of adults in the lowest-income families.”
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Watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit for the first time. This is… incredible??? How on earth did they make this. It’s a perfect execution of the insane idea of “noir in a world where cartoons are real.”.
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I don’t think you can argue anything but that Chaya Raichik has blood on her hands.
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Why must these realizations form, like crystals, under the weight of 100,000+ dead Palestinians, instead of from the evidence they offered while alive? Is the Palestinian only believable to the sensible liberal when laying in a mass grave?.
John Oliver has just said out loud that Israel is committing genocide, on HBO and his YouTube channel with 10 million subscribers. HE JUST DID.
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@dachipdestroyer Apparently Turkey (my kidney) began producing urine like the minute he was sewn in.
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I normally abstain from Elonposting because, what can you say? But this kicker is amazing. This is a level of “graphic design is my passion” a high school sophomore would call trite
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Rashida Tlaib is legitimately the bravest politician in America right now and the Dem attack dogs circling around her are scum. A car thief has more integrity.
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i don't think AOC's "i was traumatized by jan 6" thing was an overreaction. while most of the dorks there were ineffectual geriatrics and boat dealers, some dead-eyed people wanted to do some horrible things, and it just takes one psycho. plus Charlottesville in the rear mirror.
a tiktok account dedicated to worshipping judy hopps (the bunny cop from zootopia) just IDed a january 6th protestor on a conservative dating app who admitted to bringing a hacksaw to murder AOC/biden
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It's pretty disgusting to get on here and watch Elon Musk start to have what's obviously a potentially severe mental health episode. I wish there were something I could do, like park outside his house at night honk; scatter his mail on the lawn; glare at him in parking lots; etc.
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Happy tenth anniversary to a really dumb thing I did that somehow changed my life.
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1) yes; "universal healthcare" means "universal healthcare" means there is no "deservingness" test for someone's right to live 2) every time you make an exception to the universality of "universal healthcare" you are creating a gap some "innocent" person will fall into.
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The zipper merge is clearly the most efficient way to merge lanes when faced with construction. Also, if you do it properly, eventually someone will shoot you.
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I understand why people moved away from the term "Aspberger's." But it sure seems like it would have been useful to differentiate in the nomenclature between a mental health condition that makes you a little peculiar and one which renders you unable to live without assistance.
Most scientists attribute the rising number of people with autism to wider diagnostic criteria.
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SOCIAL EXPERIMENT: I Gave A Bunch Of Mentally Unstable People Unlimited Ammo While They Slid Toward Dementia.
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the reason everyone in mad max feels so alienated is because they live in a car-based society.
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how preëmptively can you give someone a "Fell For It Again" award
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Yeah man this is pretty basic “how business works” stuff. These people are such snowflakes
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@BrianK417 No like I'm a night owl and usually have a couple beers every night so a large amount of my urination happens/tended to happen late at night and somehow the kidney "remembers"?????.
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has anyone considered that nikola jokic might just have severe depression
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Willem Dafoe is the most famous person from my hometown (beating out Joe McCarthy) and every time he brings it up it’s to spit on it. His SNL monologue was shockingly hateful & portrayed our shared people as cultureless bumpkins. King shit. Will always cheer when he’s on screen.
Robert Eggers says he has offered Willem Dafoe roles in his next 2 movies. (Source:
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What would your job be in the Max Max wasteland? I would open a 24-hour bookstore/sober cafe/community organizing space.
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The refusal of the 2020-2024 Democrats to seize on the deep bipartisan fury against the health insurance system continues to be a massive, massive own-goal.
the uhc shooter being a right winger is a plot twist.
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Elon going after the guy who invented the no-patent Covid vaccine is pretty cool! Maybe he’ll call him a pedo too
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ALIEN: Thank you, Earthling, but I must decline your offer of this "American Spirit," as it would damage my eight alien lungs and shorten my extraterrestrial lifespan by twenty space-years. [two beers later].May I please procure one of your "American Spirits".
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ALIEN: This was—hic—a productive research trip. I believe I will pilot our ship more efficiently than usual. ALIEN 2: We will be traveling at 600 million Earth-miles per hour. How many "High Lifes" did you consume?.ALIEN: [fumbling with ipod] This song is called "Stranglehold".
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