holden m. accountable
@noahpasaran
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Noah (he/him) | 27 | organizer, socialist, irregular writer, bad at taking compliments, only real Havana syndrome sufferer @hollywood_labor honcho 🇵🇷🌹
Los Angeles, the Big Orange!
Joined August 2015
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finding out the term “Debbie downer” was coined on SNL is one of those real facts that do not seem congruent with the world
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hate this stupid cooking discourse. being able to cook is a prerequisite for me dating someone. at the very least be able to chop vegetables and say “yes chef” when I ask you to sweat an onion. maybe wear a hot little apron. where was I going with this
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they made it legal to discriminate against me based on a fucking FAKE CASE today I’m losing my fucking MIND
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you can’t call it “folk” music anymore, because of Woke. you have to call it folx music. [tearing up] and you have to play on the banjx
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oh no her album is improv comedy themed
🚨 Ariana Grande announces new single, “yes, and.”
Out January 12th.
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well let’s not blame the cute bard twink for someone else’s issues
this is how the guy's husband found out he cheated on him😭😭😭
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me [reading a book]: why are you not impressed this is like magic for you
groknag the caveman: me read in new cave times that it derivative and trite
me: …well you’re just made up for a joke. when someone finishes reading it you’ll cease to exist
groknag: me not want die
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me falling out of a coconut tree: haha yes!! Yes!!!
me existing in the context of all in which I live and which came before me: fuck!! This fucking sucks!!
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this woman is probably the most vindicated woman in history!
full clip confidence haven’t read a book in years telling yourself you’re so hot looking in a mirror but don’t know how to do taxes mean girl reading tiktok glamdemon2004
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found this lying outside my home. someone must have been shooting up with it. disgusting. Los Angeles is becoming a failed state like vuvuzela
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two dumb bitches telling each other "exactlyyyyy"
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Writers: $100
Actors: $100
Crew: $50
Executive compensation: $39.3 million
Someone help me my media conglomerate is dying
Zaslav loudly booed at BU commencement. Although I’m incapable of being happy, this comes close.
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Have you ever heard of reffling ?
These armored catfish have evolved to survive for hours on land, where they can navigate impressively.
The precise movements they use to move prompted experts to coin a new locomotor behavior term called "reffling".
📹 National Geographic
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no little German boy! Don’t look at the coconut tree!
mein Gott! it’s full of Kontexten!!
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It just really feels like it has its origins in the persecution of a late 1890s irishwoman named Deborah O’Malley or something and not a Rachel Dratch character. And yet?
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you can actually read Marx’s opinions on the American civil war fyi as he wrote about them extensively. Anyway,
Karl Marx wouldn’t have talked about the proletariat the same way if he grew up in the American south
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every single joke here holds up. also tag yourself I’m gay steelworkers of America
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one of the funniest things you can do to a European is insist that the United States is older than their country which is true in at least 2/3 of Europe
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the Israelis waiting for the Super Bowl to start slaughtering Palestinian refugees in the so called “safe zones” is one of the most cold blooded, evil things I’ve ever seen
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an alcohol-free space for queer adults with no friends to meet each other? why, I have one in my cellar, right next to the room where I keep my cask of amontillado—
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@lodgepolepines
perhaps one of the greatest, hearing about this more and more, and we love ___ don’t we folks, very nasty, some of the worst, etc
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people are posting about this like it’s an actual medieval castle and not built in 1847 by the hohenzollerns to then never be occupied. this is basically just a big 1800s mcmansion
What inspired human beings to build things like this?
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millions more people would be alive
Imagine if Countries around the World had tried to Force a Ceasefire on the United States during the Invasion of Afghanistan following 9/11.
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the existence of a border collie implies the violence of its maintenance
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[Anthony Bourdain on the train from SNOWPIERCER]
BOURDAIN: and what’s this called?
CHRIS EVANS: It’s a block of nutrient paste
BOURDAIN: and you eat this all the time?
EVANS: sometimes we have to eat our arms and legs. or a baby
BOURDAIN [chuckling]: you guys are so fucking lucky
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“Alright! This is gonna be my year! All the other ones have sucked but this is it!”
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me: god I have to spend 50% of my income on rent, food prices are going up, I have never been this impoverished
online neoliberal: you fucking dumb stupid “material condition” asshole. GNP per capita went up 7.21% last year??? idiot.
me: wow that’s great. thank u prez biden
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as an American let me say that it is my unequivocal belief that JK Rowling denies the crimes of the holocaust perpetrated on LGBT individuals based on her numerous public statements to that effect
On 13 March I tweeted that JK Rowling “is a Holocaust denier”. That allegation was false and offensive. I have deleted it and apologise to JK Rowling.
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half the gender analysis tweets on here are basically “I think it’s really interesting how, societally, men go to Jupiter to get more stupider whereas by contrast women go to college to get more knowledge”
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oh yeah totally
IDF Spokesperson Daniel Hagari revealed today that Hamas' main operation is based under the Shifa Hospital in Gaza City.
#Hamasisisis
#Gaza
#TheRealImage
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The term downer existed but attaching Debbie to it was the innovation
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medieval OSINT guy who’s just a peasant that can climb a tall tree
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best pope we’ve ever had
Palestinian flags in full display on Christmas Day in St. Peter's Square, Rome, as Pope Francis declared that murdered children in Gaza are the Baby Jesuses of today. (Video not mine)
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as a gay guy with a good memory, skill with languages, and fascination with choral music, I was genetically designed to be the abbot of a monastery that is known for producing some kind of disgusting herbal liqueur
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it is incredibly concerning that the fascists now can just make up whatever cases they want to target queer people. they can invent whatever situation they want in order to create whatever new laws they want to attack us with laser targeted precision
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And they’re saying we delved too greedily, they’re saying—do we like delving, folks? Do we love it? Mo-ri-a. We dug a thousand perfect mines, okay, but the elves, they don’t want you to know, and they’ve been very nasty to me
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Roman legionary going into a jazz club and immediately having a fatal heart attack
The sound that once sent a shiver down the Roman legionary's spine! The bellow of a reconstructed carnyx - a war trumpet used by Iron Age Celts, Gauls, and Germans to incite troops to battle and instil terror in the enemy.
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I had always assumed that the character referred to a preexisting turn of phrase. It didn’t! I knew who Debbie downer was Jesus Christ
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oh my god???
I really wonder sometimes what it will take for people to stop supporting certain brands/companies. The origin of the name Lululemon should've been enough, no?
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Sorry, not sorry, not going to care about Ted Kaczynski because I grew up with an alcoholic, psychologically abusive father in constant state of distress, anxiety and worry about the future. Hearing the key in the door every evening was my own “Ted Kaczynski” for almost 20 years.
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remembering all the fucking terf gays who attack trans people thinking that’ll take the heat off them. you all are fucking morons and they’ll come for you too
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urdnot wreav: i'm not going to say the race of the doctor who infected me with the genophage. it was a salarian doctor
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it’s insane to be like “it’s ableist to say Biden has dementia” like my grandmother has dementia but I’m not trying to make her President of the United States!
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this is beside the point but it pisses me off when someone makes a conceptual artwork and calls it “untitled(title)” it’s cowardice
started off thinking ‘oh HI’ when I saw this exhibit then read the explainer and kinda choked up
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ARTHUR: Well I d’know Dutch, I ain’t never heard of no “Samsara” before
DUTCH: Arthur, it’s the shackle keeping us tied to this wretched coil! If we slip our bonds, why then, enlightenment could be ours!
MOVE the RIGHT ANALOG STICK and PRESS RT to escape Samsara
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@Devon_OnEarth
@christopherroth
Biden: don’t mess with… bdbdbbba… mother jones take me home
Trump: and lazemby, he was a very fantastic bond, perhaps one of the best, but they didn’t likely our George, some call him Georgie, and they were very nasty to him and replaced him
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see I make posts like this and then I also have a chefs hat so I’m too far gone here. bonus shakshouka and confit byaldi
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hey I know we all know this but this is a direct violation of international law and everything involved in its creation constitutes a war crime
The Day After.
Israel is creating a permanent 1 km buffer zone within GAZA's borders. Buildings in this zone are being demolished creating a no man's land.
This area may be lined with land mines & turrets. Gazans entering will likely be fired upon.
Was it worth it?
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KETHERIC THORM: lmao these dumb motherfuckers don’t know I’M going to betray them and take charge
LORD ENVER GORTASH: lmao these dumb motherfuckers don’t know I’M going to betray them and take charge
ORIN THE RED: I killa da orphans🤌🏼
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people are asking what I mean by “sweating” basically you chop up the onion and cook it gently in a fat (oil, butter, etc) until it turns translucent BUT not until it browns
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Took this as a joke earlier today but I like how my arm looks so enjoy. Also it’s one billion degrees in my apartment
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@katyperry
Wild that you’re also supporting the candidate that covered up 25 years of sexual abuse at USC and launders money through his Catholic center to fight a woman’s right to an abortion in California
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extremely annoying business guy sitting next to me on the plane had a presentation open where he had written “mac and cheese is the tip of the spear”
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my rule of never trusting anyone who says “folx” wins out again. undefeated
LEAKED EMAIL EXCHANGE:
Columbia University Professor asks CSSW student to remove Palestine Flag from their zoom name online because it has “caused trauma reactions”.
“Geopolitical emojis” is referring to the Palestinian flag.
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(logging onto medieval twitter from my hovel in provence) langue d’oïlcels are coping and seething over us langue d’occhads
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hercule poirot: but at ze same time zat captain ‘astings was loading ze guns in ze parlor, madam was in ze RAcial CHATRooms…
sobbing woman: …showing… showing feet
poirot: preCISELy
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the main folx music instruments are the womxndolin, the gaytar, the harmonicx, and the accordion (unchanged)
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honestly the strength of the uncommitted campaign has made me believe in the goodness of people again
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if you ever want to cause conflict drop this map in a group chat of europeans and watch it disembowel itself
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“buhhhh my cultural traditions” all made up in like 1948 sorry to say
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roman standup: you ever notice how Gallic guys, they’re always in urbs, but Etruscan guys, they’re always in horto? ladies, ladies you know what I’m talking about [booing] you ever go down to the taberna,
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hastings: oh poirot you’re back early
poirot: Venice is haunted
hastings: what?
poirot *loading a pistol and getting into a gondola* Venice is haunted
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countries the United States is older than: Germany, Italy, Czechia, Serbia, Poland, Bosnia, Bulgaria, Albania, Belgium,
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I’ve been doing too much politics and not enough thirst traps so enjoy
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no you may not kiss me with the visor off, you can’t handle it
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you can’t have hair like that without industrial chemicals that are illegal to have now
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thinking again today about how when I was at USC a professor commented that all of the sections of campus built aftee 1970 were designed to make student gatherings difficult (no sightlines, isolated unconnected green spaces, etc) to prevent protest
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This kind of smart, walkable, mixed-use urbanism is illegal to build in most American cities
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if your movement can be destroyed by banning a short video platform then you did not actually build a movement
Banning Tik Tok would effectively destroy the progressive movement in this country.
Let’s talk about it.
Thread.
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fuck you Lorie Smith of Colorado and your stupid godawful websites which are here
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every Agatha Christie novel is a beautifully constructed little cuckoo clock of remarkable precision and workmanship, which occasionally pops out a little bird that yells a racial slur
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Incredible that Warner Discovery lost, as a result of the strike, 500 million dollars and it would have cost them 42 million to fully agree to every WGA proposal. Mind blowing. Most incompetent executives in world history
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am I insane or did they digitally add in the twin towers but also leave the freedom tower in
Bad Bunny’s new album “NADIE SABE LO QUE VA PASAR MAÑANA” will be released on Octuber 13. 🔜
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in 1983 the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States of America produced a report suggesting that Soviet citizens were eating the same as Americans but actually getting a more nutritious diet
so weird watching people unquestionably upholding the soviet system as a political/economic model these days when everyone by the 1960s or 70s, inside and outside the USSR, knew the command economy simply did not work.. on its own terms, even in producing the most basic goods
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do British people not have lids
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UNIONIZING THE DICK SUCKING FACTORY!!!
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the Cheesecake Factory is still a factory. unionize everywhere
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me: why, I’ve had such a good workout today
my scheming vizier: exccccellent sssire, why not drink half of a bottle of trader joe’ssss wine and eat a boxxsss of cheddar twisssstsss. they call it bulking, sssire
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city building inspector who just came into my apartment, identified thirty code violations I’ve been complaining about for ages, and threatened to slap my landlord with huge fines: you are my hero
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I’ve seen enough. This has nothing to do with elections I’ve just seen enough.
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so I found out today that—and this is not a joke—my great grandfather, Rufus Napoleon of Everman Texas, on his deathbed in 1963, unhesitatingly recited the shahada and embraced the light of Islam
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@who_shot_jgr
it’s been a long time since I did any bridge stuff but isn’t that way more expensive than just starting with new steel
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It just feels like there are no real careers anymore and if you go back fifty years there was just so much more culture and art and things you could make money by doing that is completely gone now
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