a little peanut 🥜
@youwouldntpost
Followers
9,661
Following
3,657
Media
1,615
Statuses
12,610
award-winning “journalist.” smokes, let’s go
George Orwell’s Animal Farm
Joined June 2023
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#getoutofrafah
• 1956319 Tweets
Dortmund
• 450334 Tweets
Mbappe
• 338757 Tweets
Reus
• 107849 Tweets
Palestino
• 96595 Tweets
iPad Pro
• 88136 Tweets
Dembele
• 83348 Tweets
Olón
• 81969 Tweets
Grok
• 73531 Tweets
FOURTH BE MINE 10M🩵
• 57913 Tweets
#น้องพลีสสิบล้านวิว
• 57897 Tweets
YAIBA
• 55640 Tweets
دورتموند
• 44083 Tweets
#WWENXT
• 30441 Tweets
Demichelis
• 25228 Tweets
backnumber
• 19872 Tweets
ズゴック
• 19459 Tweets
Chará
• 12429 Tweets
ゼウスシルエット
• 12148 Tweets
Flamengo de Tite
• 10955 Tweets
プレス機
• 10244 Tweets
Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
The sluttiest thing a man can do is have a cat that he loves dearly
513
3K
24K
7
1
326
not only is AI art ugly slop that threatens creative livelihoods, it's replacing the inherently funnier and more joyous medium of shittily photoshopped images
73
7K
60K
[to Sydney Sweeney] are these millions of guys bothering you?
42
2K
51K
years ago my weed dealer in New York found out i had published a novel and said he wanted to check it out, so i gave him a copy. on his next delivery he told my ex “that shit is advanced reading,” which remains the nicest way of saying you’re not going to finish someone’s book
32
1K
44K
it's gonna be so funny when Trump dies and the entire timeline is this image
55
1K
35K
really good subject line. gonna start using this
45
3K
35K
crazy to think how, despite your best efforts, more and more people will wear whatever clothes and jewelry they like, while you get more and more scared about it for the rest of your life
This is the Communications Director for the Secretary of Interior:
12K
5K
25K
99
1K
33K
Developing an investment portfolio where I buy the dip on companies that conservatives are attacking and then sell a few months later when they’ve forgotten their outrage campaign
122
1K
33K
thinking about one of the hardest Economist headlines of all time
48
3K
26K
17
1K
20K
this weekend marks the one-year anniversary of my original account going out in a blaze of glory
26
861
20K
i worked in an elite college admissions office (not making acceptance decisions) and can tell young white men with good grades that it’s not underprivileged minorities taking their spots but lacrosse players who totaled their jeep one time
19
809
20K
among the many pleasures of rewatching Arrested Development is being reminded that Michael was always the worst one
137
462
19K
everyone rightfully loves the stew line, but underrated Carl Weathers moment in Arrested is when he's on the news at fancy restaurant where the Bluths have caused a riot — completely unharmed, leftovers in hand, saying "I'm looking at $50,000 in medical bills!"
35
951
17K
LISAN AL GAIB
Pacino should’ve been in Dune just to hear him say all that stuff
104
264
6K
29
892
13K
watch this on mute and try to guess what the music is. you will be wrong
93
927
12K
unfortunately we're going to need a special exemption that allows George to have a phone in jail
16
490
12K
guy who says he's a Zionist but he's just thinking of the rave in Matrix Reloaded
20
634
9K
anybody still pissed about my “Sound of Freedom” review who wants to do something about it should know that this is where i live. come on by!
50
252
8K
the sacred texts
15
604
8K
Kate Middleton is chillin at my place. i asked if anyone might be concerned as to her whereabouts and she just packed the bowl again
11
454
8K
the phrase “best shirt ever” gets thrown around a lot these days, but
29
701
7K
they’re slut-shaming me. truly no depths to which they will not sink
104
189
7K
i am going to invent the atomic bomb
9
237
7K
can’t identify with Jonah Hill bc i don’t believe in relationship “boundaries.” i want to wake up and see this
43
472
6K
12 hours until a “making fun of the financial advisor who got scammed out of $50K is ableist” take
27
258
6K
for Halloween i went as something feared by every Angeleno
91
520
5K
i scammed $50,000 from a financial advice columnist does anyone need anything?
82
239
5K
I called up the general manager at Fontaine's down in Atlanta to chat about the woman who ate 48 oysters on a date for a viral TikTok. She says it's not even close to the most oysters she's seen a customer take down in a sitting:
78
419
5K
so funny that the negative coverage of Glazer has to keep using photos of him holding his Oscar
2
198
5K
whenever there is no Parmesan in the fridge one lives in a heightened state of alarm until there is Parmesan again
25
392
4K
Gob and Lindsay too stupid and lazy to execute their schemes, Tobias and Buster both hapless betas, the kids are the kids, and Michael combines the most manipulative tendencies of both George Sr. and Lucille to make everything worse whenever he can. it’s quite impressive
16
34
4K
Last night I won an LA Press Club award for seeing Avatar 2 on shrooms lol
66
123
4K
12
192
4K
Musk is AGAIN being sued for defamation over some reckless tweets, but the difference this time is he owns the platform and, in a deposition his lawyer tried to keep confidential, had to answer some embarrassing questions about how he runs the place:
16
729
4K
this is what really sold me. a gadget that brings you to a dead halt blocking a subway staircase so you can reply to a text by hunting and pecking letters on a virtual keyboard with one finger
Vision Pro isn't just great, it's the single greatest piece of tech ive ever used
2K
5K
46K
34
214
4K
when i am Stalin i will ban millions from watching television
70
175
4K
seen this posited and while it’s definitely true i also don’t think New York apartments conform to Euclidean geometry
30
198
4K
At min 44 of today's livestream, Catturd has to jump off the call. At min 59 Jewel breaks the news that he's been swatted, uttering the instantly immortal phrase, "Cops are absolutely everywhere, they're all over Catturd ranch"
So, I was just swatted during my podcast.
The caller pretended to be me and told the cops - "I've stabbed someone, had a gun, and was going to kill myself."
This is the result of being doxxed over and over by leftist outlets. You can imagine how dangerous this is.
I'm okay,…
9K
18K
91K
31
215
3K
tempted to say that no man has ever been built this different
climbing mt kilimijaro & attempting to memorize every us area code by the time i summit
160
439
32K
17
143
3K
don’t care if it’s touristy, i love to see the sights when i’m in town
11
111
3K
there should have been a Sopranos episode where Tony struggled with daylight saving time
21
201
3K
one part of Arrested Development lore i will never stop thinking about is Michael retaining animation rights to Gob’s Mr. Banana-Grabber character
11
77
3K
simply the most watchable movie. heist plot about everything besides the heist. every Brit gangster actor with a cool voice. 1 hour 28 minutes. sublime
Don't miss Jonathan Glazer's debut feature SEXY BEAST (2000)—a startlingly original crime drama built around a ferocious, Academy Award–nominated performance from Ben Kingsley—before it leaves the Criterion Channel in April!
24
99
864
47
153
3K
damn that's crazy
68
238
3K
this has become the funniest image in the world to me. i picture a cybertruck driving into the ocean like eight times a day
28
90
3K
watching Oppenheimer as Nolan intended (streaming on Peacock with ads)
15
95
3K
I watched Jim Caviezel's QAnon-ish child-trafficking drama "Sound of Freedom" with the kind of muttering, coughing, "Amen!"-bellowing boomers who have made it a right-wing indie hit. Hard to overstate just how disgusting it was!
2K
390
3K
it’s so cool that they spent so much money to build a place where you can k*ll yourself in front of as many people as possible, forever changing their bonds and the trajectory of their lives
37
115
3K
9/11 has gone woke
On the 22nd anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, a rainbow forms in the sky between One World Trade and the Empire State Building in New York City, Monday evening
#NewYorkCity
#nyc
#newyork
@empirestatebldg
#sunset
@agreatbigcity
#NeverForget911
372
8K
40K
17
262
3K
BUSTED PLAYING ROMEO & JULIET WITH HER LOUD OBNOXIOUS BOYFRIEND FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD
13
86
2K
having worked in catering i can say the music choices at most weddings are beyond comprehension. i remember a DJ kicking off the dance floor with “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”
Oh this is the first thing you see & hear when they open the gates of hell 😭😭😭
437
625
6K
42
66
2K
is it me or is this being filmed by one of the sea lions
Sea lions at San Diego's La Jolla Cove aggressively barked and charged at dozens of tourists who were on the shore, including children.
3K
2K
14K
41
180
2K
[post-OPPENHEIMER credits]
GROVES: fuck. we can’t win the Cold War now that commies have nukes
STIMSON: we’ve trained the ultimate double agent to give us the upper hand
GROVES: dazzle me
[MARINE enters]
STIMSON: i’d like to introduce.. Lee Harvey Oswald
OSWALD
cowabunga
10
146
2K
the 48 oysters gambit is incredible, though what truly sends it into the stratosphere is how the waiter kept bringing her more without clearing away the empty platters so that she had to stack them in a tower of shame
I’m watching this irritated because she was exposing my favorite oyster spot in Atlanta but this wayyyy too funny not to share 😭😭😭😭😭
2K
6K
50K
13
93
2K
his job is hospital
14
185
2K
it's the attention to detail that tells you the cybertruck will be something special
22
142
2K
they arrested someone for Tupac's murder the day after Feinstein died. from this we can only assume she was protecting him all these years
18
184
2K
it rocks that when i reviewed 'Sound of Freedom' the QAnon crowd was screeching that i'd be fired and arrested but the only person who lost their job was the guy the movie is about and his organization won't explain why no matter how many times they ask
26
355
2K
of course, Grimace used to be normal. McDonald’s made him how he is now, with a targeted energy weapon, because he dared to speak out against the Ronald regime. they juice his body for those purple shakes, and if he doesn’t toe the party line, they’ll dice him into purple nuggets
16
214
2K
Cybertruck owners rationalizing the rust problem have hit a new rock bottom among Musk nerds
64
285
2K
posting "EPSTEIN CLIENT LIST REVEALED" with a malware link to instantly collect the credit card info of every blue check dunce on here
7
96
2K
the Panera lemonade should also have nicotine in it
21
206
2K
lmao softbrain it's not locked you're looking at the old account and my beefcake photos from other sites
112
84
2K
it’s been 12 years, I’m ready to hear this question
5
102
2K
Ellen you have a sold-out standup show tonight
16
103
2K
X is running NFL ads on white supremacist accounts, including one that featured a video interview in which a guest calls for Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce to be hanged for endorsing the Covid-19 vaccine. The league has demanded X address the problem.
57
536
2K
listening to this would melt your face like the ark of the covenant
Bill Maher recently revealed he had a two-hour interview with Ye, the rapper formerly known as Kanye West, for his podcast – but it will likely never be released
97
29
232
10
56
2K
twitter is definitely not tinder because here you can actually meet hot people who will have sex with you
twitter is not tinder, valorant is not tinder, discord is not tinder. get a grip.
823
2K
18K
32
139
2K
just learned that my old employer unpublished this story i wrote 10 years ago lmao
I made a homemade Fleshlight-but I wasn't ready for what came next:
http://t.co/u2HCAwsXPw
http://t.co/tvLnKxUtKq
5
5
10
34
72
2K
Just before I took off for vacation, I put together this comprehensive guide that we’ll no doubt have to update from time to time: the big master list of Elon Musk’s big, dumb lies:
39
454
2K
lmfao
"ALL RIGHT, MAN, LET'S MOVE ON:" Claiming the company has suffered enough, Kid Rock says he will be back to drinking Bud Light All Summer Long:
12
20
226
3
13
2K
wokeness is dead
7
148
2K
I love that “Twitter-shaming a woman who fucks roller coasters and has been banned from Six Flags New England” sounds like a podcast bit and yet is a real, incredible thread about an actual person
48
161
1K
Today in court, Trump had to hear and see memes mocking him as his defense sought to have jurors dismissed for past social media posts. He did not appear to enjoy it.
28
110
1K
i followed this psycho right-wing dude we met in palm springs one time to keep tabs on the culture and this is what he’s posting tonight
28
38
1K
sobbing at the incredible context on the "cat pervert" couple, which is that they have basically accused the neighbor of being a groomer
45
199
1K
as twitter dies i am remembering some of the greatest posts of all time
14
92
1K
funny how Pizzagate and Qanon types never latched onto True Detective S1, which deals with a hidden society that abducts, abuses and ritually sacrifices kids, because it made clear that evangelical churches and cops were in on the conspiracy lmao
15
95
1K