vodka chicken parm
@IdahoBones
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moving to Colorado is the male version of getting bangs
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one hundred trillion dollars on defense every year and you can just walk into the literal capitol lmao
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literal NPCs
Rain has forced the S.C. National Guard inside one of the White House office buildings.
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Nothing. I play immersive Role Playing Action Games that require no internet connection. It would not impact me and I would continue my search for Ciri and the Wild Hunt.
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A friend is on his way to your house with six of the tallest, warmest IPAs youve never had. And theres nothing you can do to stop him.
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When i worked at moes my favorite customer came in once a month to get two burritos and his wife would come in with him and happily watch him eat them and one time after i gave them to him his wife rubbed his shoulder and he said "i love getting my burritos" she said "i know"
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Repressive society. No one should have to apologize for this
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theres no gene that makes cilantro taste like soap. there is a gene for lying for attention though.
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Oppenheimer a seriously good movie. its amazing to witness the birth of a dad movie. i cant wait to watch it standing up with my hands on my hips like 20 years from now.
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on the Bernie desk we get a lot of emails from prisoners. a lot of lifers who know theyre going to die in jail and they have so much hope and confidence in Bernie because hes the only one that sees them as human.
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small businesses you are on fraud watch. I will use my Amex and then dispute the charge out of sheer sport if I see this.
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imagining how easy itd be to move to North Carolina and buy a 4,000 sq ft house for 200k and have a few kids named Mason and stuff. instead i choose to suffer.
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Agent Smith: Mr. Anderson.....you thought you were redpilled....but actually...youll find.......yourr cucked and soymode.
Neo *strapped to chair*: No...
Agent Smith: You're cancelled, Mr. Anderson. You're triggered and mad online. And me? I...am based.
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afraid many of you mf's would wet your hat wading across the chesapeaks
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in Dune a guys name could be like Haggahoth or Key'begar or it could be like Steve Hampton
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so I was at Karen's earlier (boooo!). And I told her to put some spices on her chicken (applause), and next thing I know, shes puttin some damn Pumpkin Spice on it! (laughter)
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funny how just a couple years of living with a little bit of AI has nullified centuries of science fiction that tries to imply AI deserves some kind of respect as living beings. im straight up airholing any replicant i encounter in the future.
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They’re rioting to eat dinner later and make restaurant drinking water warmer
Spanish firefighters using fire as a weapon in their clash with the Spanish police
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BREAKING: President Donald Trump has passed away.
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imagining someone taking away my $200/month health insurance that only kicks in after i spend $3000 out of pocket and then only reimburses 80% of medicals costs at roughly three approved doctors and replacing it with free at service healthcare and screaming and crying and shaking
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California is really funny. they have the power to basically run a large country as a social democracy but instead choose to ban like non sugar free applesauce and make it illegal to drive after 10pm. a great bit.
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once dated a girl for a while and met her family and before I went to dinner with them she was like ok this is going to be a bit weird but just know my brother has your same name, he also works at the same company you do doing the same job and kind of looks like you.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOO NO ONONO NO NO NOOO NOOOO NOOOOOOO NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
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Sometimes ubereats will just buzz on your wrist and show you some beer
Sometimes linkedin will just buzz on your wrist and show you a guy
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if your company is using microsoft teams you are getting laid off this month
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its wild how many people there are who work from home doing very little, maybe 2 hrs of actual work per week making $150k+. im not hating but how long is this sustainable lol.
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check in on the men in your life make sure they’re watching Shogun
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@prophethusband
18 year old american: Being sober has changed my life, and I am finally able to care for my sons and be on time to my jobs.
42 year old euro: The discotheque has played nothing but less than bops lately...its time to petition
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if this was france there would at least be a few cars on fire.
JUST IN: Senate leaves until September without coronavirus relief deal
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anyone who refers to this as a hell site has not logged into linkedin. easily the most deranged place on the internet.
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has anyone in scotland noticed this? pretty straight line. let me know if youd like me to look into it some more.
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me: yeah i feel like the grief is something i can carry around its just the effect of the event itself on me is still there
Zoom therapist looking off screen: *obvious Halo 3 noises in the background* And this was your dog that died yeah?
halo announcer voice: KILLTACULAR
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its so funny dudes in their 30s are willingly and sincerely coming on here to say the devil is real and theyre afraid of him
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rogan: So ice water, I was told, is actually good. Kind of like a cold plunge.
me: Ha. No.
rogan: No?
me: No. Extremely bad for you.
rogan: Wow. Seriously?
me: Very serious.
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I know it was in vogue to say the libs are annoying but god spending any time with someone with mild social conservatism is total torture
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im fine with 5 inch inseams on shorts, been on that bus for a while. my question however is what shoes are we supposed to wear with those because we get yelled at if we wear boat shoes or flip flops
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the worst i ever treated a waiter is when i was like six and i snapped my fingers like they did in the cartoons and my mom got so insanely pissed i had to tearfully apologize to him.
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its so inspiring Trudeau has been showing up to these protests
Tense moments at Nathan Phillips Square as someone dresses in blackface, thankfully police intervened.
#TorontoProtest
#toronto
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As an aggrieved millennial leftist, I will only vote for Joe Biden if someone gives me $15,000. Since this is the most important election of our lifetimes, I have no doubt that someone will pay. Please reach out if you’d like to pay me $15,000.
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if you think the actual working class are eating charcuterie youre fucking insane. they eat whole boiled fish and stick the whole fish tin their mouth and pull it out by the head leaving only the skeleton on. they also eat baked beans and then use the empty tin as a hat.
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Implosion? Prigozhin? the Grimace milkshake? You must have hit your head pretty hard there during those crazy waves, pal. Come on in, theyre about to seal us up! You ready for the adventure of a lifetime?!
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bowling alley when you get a strike
— 🚨🇾🇪 Yahya Sarae, Yemeni armed forces spokesman:
The Yemeni armed forces launched a large batch of drones during the past hours at several targets deep within the Zionist entity in occupied Palestine, and they reached their goals, thanks to God.
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In turbulent economic times, be wary of using margin loans to buy stock
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you straight up cant go to ukraine expecting to do some For Whom the Bell Tolls shit and act surprised when it Tolls for Thee
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hearing word that new strains of marijuana make you high permanently. if you're feeling high, and think that it may not go away fast enough, you likely have been spiked with this new strain.
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this lifelong diplomat who was ambassador to bolivia and outwardly pro-trump was spying for Cuba for 40+ years and it was all an act. bravo.
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I will never vote for Joe Biden and I encourage anyone who follows me not to.
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lefties absolutely love when some evil man dies at 120 years old peacefully surrounded by loved ones. they think they won somehow.
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bad thing about returning to the office is you can no longer announce aloud "I am going to kill myself" when you encounter a minor inconvenience
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Stemlords coping that they don’t actually deserve $350k for spending two hours a week maintaining an internal HR button that sends you to Concur
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@OkButStill
*instagram reel showing white jake doing podcast*
Jake: And it's like they used us up and threw us away. It's just funny who they think its ok to just "cancel".
Jared Fogel: Totally
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looking back on this kinda shit in 10 years is gonna be so funny
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If your "cousin walk" doesn't consist of conversations on dropshipping techniques, email marketing, and AI driven insights, you're better off staying at the table.
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chicken parmesan is very good for the gut, and body. it restores the gut to its natural biome and "coats" the wall with counter-cancer acids and pastes. additionally it "re-postures" the bones, hardening them for impacts both defensive and offensive.
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CITIZEN: YOU HAVE BEEN DETECTED TO HAVE SPENT FIFTEEN MINUTES AND, ONE SECOND COMMUTING IN A 15 MINUTE CITY. PREPARE TO BE VACCINATED.
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Being in your blue shirt solo mode at work chipotle is a sublime experience. This is where industrialists and moguls are built.
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"The Imperial City is densely urbanized, with a few large parks and waterside dock areas."
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covids probably the most annoying thing thats happened
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if Biden goes with the Kamala/Bernie/Markey $2k a month + retroactive plan they will win. ill vote for them even. youd be stupid not to.
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People know that before buying the Babylon Bee that Seth Dillon operated one of the first and largest brony sites right?
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as a Bernie supporter if he does not win the nomination i will need time to heal, do self care, and do bodies and spaces while not owing you anything. not sure when id be ready to support another candidate. probably december maybe?
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im a guy. i sleep on a pile of the pages i tore out of Infinite Jest after reading them, with no headboard. i eat at the burger place 14 meals a week because the guy there calls me "boss". i didnt see Little Women and my girlfriend is the CEO of ConAgra and a Louboutin model.
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With respect to Ruth Bader Ginsburg's life work I can't think of a better way to honor her than writing her in for president this November, who's with me?😤💪
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@richard_normal
Basically they want the customer, a rational actor in a free market, to make an irrational decision to forgo credit card points out of some sort of weird favor
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your average 20-30 something man today would fare far better in world war 2 than the guys who did it, due to advances in exercise science like the peloton and generally being in better touch with emotions while avoiding toxic masculinity
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@Votto007
Actually the guy with the bike was doing the right thing. If the guy hopped on the bike at the right time and started peddling veryfast the wind resistance would have put out the flames.
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its sick as hell to try to learn to become a war journalist in a week and end up live tweeting likely war crimes
Today closed with the unit I’m embedded in eliminating two suspected Russian saboteurs in an EMT vehicle. Saw the whole thing go down. Car refused to stop after several warnings, volunteers opened fire. It’s 00:45 Monday. The volunteers are up protecting this highway into Kyiv.
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the fact this didnt resseruct her w/ electro powers means nothing cool will ever happen
This power line happened to be laid straight through the skull of an Anglo Saxon woman buried in a previously undiscovered 6th century graveyard.
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you just know her son is gonna have to get a ride home from the coach again after practice
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Can we agree that this is the final cable? No more no cables. Eliminate all other cables.
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genuinely what the fuck is wrong with how he sounds and looks
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every girl right now is reading something like The Illegible Daughters and Mothers of Evelyn Barthalemew and their bfs are reading something like The CIAs Deepest Lies
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drop in gas prices. drop in plane tickets. a lot of living and loving and laughing will be happening in 2020.
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just found out hamas doesnt support protected bike lanes, micro transit, sensible urbanism, and parklettes
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being in the grocery store without a cart…so nimble, agile…I can be in any aisle at any time
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just sent you a 15 minute calendar invite for late friday afternoon titled "Quick Chat"
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missing the Bernie campaign today. fall and winter 2019/2020 was such a great time.
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