Someone explain to me how my dad manages to be on a flight with the @SunderlandAFC team and not get me anyone’s phone number?

Amy Schumer had “sex” with a guy who was drunk and in and out of consciousness, got mad because he didn’t satisfy her, then turned it into a women’s empowerment speech where she made her victim the punchline of jokes about the assauIt, then was applauded in the name of self worth

https://t.co/CJlEvQ8YZh

I volunteer to be on season one

And why is it in New Jersey?

oh you’re a momma’s boy? you love your mother very much? that is so sweet & wholesome. tell me, is it because she taught you core principles & values or because she still does your laundry & cooks for you regularly while rewarding you for doing the bare minimum everyday?

I will be seeing this on opening day

Jiji

one of the ways i was harming myself & my progress as a whole, was repeating the affirmation "i'm trying my best" when i wasn't actually trying my best. it takes self awareness to be able to discern between giving yourself grace & coddling yourself to the point of self-sabotage.

god the bar is so low for men like as long as you take a shower and change your sheets once a week you’re good to go meanwhile i’m literally getting a laser shot into my butthole rn

Crestview is doing “Muggles on Main” so I guess we have an official TERF convention now?

netflix and chill is over it’s time to read books and give each other little kisses

breakups are so crazy like who am i supposed to text??? i bought a new cereal and i like it - i’m supposed to keep that information to myself ???

cats of studio ghibli

I’ll get right on that 🫠

I have never come back from any holiday feeling relaxed, refreshed & reinvigorated to get back into work. I come back with the taste of freedom, still fresh in my mouth, a renewed hatred for work, and a strong suspicion that this is not what I should be spending my life doing.

Jiji

He just wanted the neighbors to stop dumping garbage on mountain habitat so they body-shamed him?????????????? SMH. The Grinch is a conservation baddie, put some respect on his name WHOVILLE.

@ everyone listening to tis the damn season right now, DON’T text them

What would they have to be thankful for once I’m gone??? Pls note this is a JOKE