James
@matkinsj
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This week I are mostly been eating... Gü
London
Joined November 2010
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How the fuck have we simultaneously got an abundance of CO2 and a shortage?
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Please run your definition of chic by me
Danniella Westbrook looks chic in Chanel to attend bare-knuckle boxing fight
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Who the hell hasn’t been repaying the capital on their mortgage for 20 years?
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When you wish you’d not pressed the button to unblur the gloryhole booth in Amsterdam.
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Guy at work had his lunch made by his daughter. He’s got 2 different packets of monster munch
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So if the tiers have gone up from before lockdown does that mean lockdown was an utter failure?
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“I asked 10,000 paedophiles”
I asked over 10,000 pedophiles if they felt like exposure to erotic content featuring children would increase or reduce their risk of offending in real life. You predict on average they answered:
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Who remembers grating cheese?
Does anyone grate their cheese anymore? Saw this in an op shop and thought it a novelty. Can't remember last time I grated cheese.
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You need to fuck off
We need to get rid of the great British breakfast and embrace matcha green tea lattes, even if they do taste like grassy milkshakes
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Yes because pizza is much nicer than plain oil
Two slices of pizza are equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
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Not just vegans
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Is it go online and shop around?
Martin Lewis’ MoneySavingExpert explains how to find cheapest holiday deals
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Fuck off alesha
Alesha Dixon wants to make eating meat and smoking illegal
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Or just drink straight from the bottle
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When Bruce Forsyth dies, they'll gently lower the coffin, then lower, then lower, then higher
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“Put your hands on the car and prepare to die”
NEW: Len McCluskey tells Sky that Boris Johnson to be put under citizens arrest
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“Sweeping a chimney is very much like making love to a beautiful woman”
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Just found out the whole of the wife’s family put jam on the outside of a croissant
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Because he’s a massive cunt?
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Would pay good money to watch the little guy riding round that room on the dogs
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Anyone else read this to the tune of Duran Duran’s Rio?
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Stop calling cakes in cafes and restaurants “homemade” unless you brought them in from home
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Why’s everyone having a go at Kate for not wearing a mask in the fucking park? Morons
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Because it’s from the verb to master, not the title of a boy 🙄🙄🙄
“Why does it have to be my masterpiece, why not my mistresspiece?”
So asked 8yo as she placed her pumpkin on the counter.
*Contending for proudest maternal moment ever.
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Said goodbye to Grandpa today. Lots of very interesting family stories
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@ObscureMH
At the fence. As close as you can get without being invited by the owners. 60 metres maybe
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Enid Blyton’s gone wild
Five arrested after Sir Iain Duncan Smith allegedly hit with a traffic cone
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Some good news at last!
Coronavirus could put Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway finale in jeopardy
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Or concreting over a floodplain
London floods again highlight economic cost of allowing the planet to burn
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I see we’re hating on France tonight. There are so many things to love about France tho as illustrated by this chart
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1.3kg of “broken” biscuits. They’re less broken than regular pack biscuits
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“Bet you can’t go faster than Jeremy Vine when he sees a car turning across him half a mile away”
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Who are all these “the taliban aren’t so bad” pricks? What the fuck is wrong with you, lads?
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“Banksy has come to Islington! What wonderful artwork, proving there is hope for our natural world everywhere.”
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