Jon
@jonbir90
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I knew what was coming but still laughed my head off. Fantastic.
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Everyone in the cinema when James Bond goes to see the old fella with the gadgets.
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Fascinated by Wayne Lineker. Only seems to appear between April and September. Like pollen.
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I love football so much and I feel so lucky to live in a world where it exists.
After a Wolves ball boy refused to give the ball back to Coventry earlier in the game, Coventry City manager Mark Robbins celebrated right in front of the Wolves ball boy after there 100th minute Winner 😂😂😂
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Me to my notepad, laptop and the little plant on my desk this morning.
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🚨 BREAKING 🚨
Sheridan Smith to play Adobe Photoshop Version 24.4.1 in the upcoming ITV1 royal drama Manipulated.
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He looks like the type of fella who insists on project managing his own build on Grand Designs.
3D Reconstruction Of Julius Caesar. Created by the National Museum of Antiquities in the Netherlands.
#archaeohistories
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Aldi operating at a completely different level yet again. Embarrassing the competition time and again.
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A Fanta Limon on a balcony with a view of the sea after a shower with slight sunburn.
What does true happiness outside of dating/marriage and career look like for you?
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Just a bit of harmless fun
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I would love to do this while staring into the whites of the eyes of whoever is approaching the seat opposite me on the 06:43 Lime Street to Euston train.
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Now do it with a particularly strong black coffee from Crewe station on an empty stomach. None of this tippy tappy shite then is there? Route one.
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Unmanned. Wow. Nothing can stop me diving through head first. This is it. This is what it's all been leading up to.
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Putting a coach on for this. Will leave from Hunts Cross Retail Park at 8am. Ticket price includes a butty and commemorative detonatator keyring. Bring cans.
BREAKING | Captain Tom’s family’s spa will be demolished after failing to submit appeal
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Me and our kid waiting to be let in to the front room on Christmas morning.
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Me in the mirror when I go up to bed and realise I've forgot to take the bins out
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Griezmann's going to celebrate his next goal by doing a big wheelie down Smithdown.
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If you live in Liverpool, work in Manchester and don't drive, this is your reminder to set off walking now to get in on time tomorrow morning. Be careful on the East Lancs.
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My wife has a little vial of sugar water on her keys in case she comes across a bee in crisis.
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Annual shout to make this a real stadium for the final every year and to put it somewhere fun like Benidorm.
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If Liverpool and City both win all of their remaining games, Liverpool can win the title at the Etihad on the same day as the Grand National. I'm backing Tiger Roll coming 2nd to a lad in Berghaus and 110s doing a wheelie round Aintree with a flare.
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2nd year JMU design student taking his new girlfriend from Childwall to a house party off Smithdown.
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I long for the day that we're spared this kind of tedious shite before a tournament.
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The urinal cake after that third pint hits.
In 1982 a zookeeper at the Izu Shaboten Zoo in Shizuoka prefecture accidentally discovered that capybaras absolutely loved soaking in hot water, and the practice of providing them an onsen, or traditional Japanese hot springs, was born
[📹 nakprstaff]
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This is the hostel breakfast room on the second day of a stag when the groom's dad says "here he is! Look what the cat dragged in!"
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Can't believe he's getting the "ohhhh Kendrick Lamaaarrr" treatment like he's a centre half for Notts County.
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To whoever it is that has applied for the Liverpool ECHO LFC Correspondent's job as Jurgen Klopp, thank you.
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Me trying to explain to the lads that I've never watched Breaking Bad.
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If there were a “Sports Twitter” Hall of Fame, honoring the best sports-related tweets of all time, what would be your nominee?
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Solidarity with any LGTBQ+ football fans having to wade through this cesspit of a website this afternoon.
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Taxi driver: "Out watching the match mate yeah?"
Me: "Yeah mate"
TD: " Who do you think's going to win?"
Me: "Liverpool I reckon. What about you?"
TD: "Don't know and not arsed."
He's done me there. Fair play.
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Ally McCoist is the exact type of fella I want to have a very brief but extremely intense friendship with at an airport or speed awareness course.
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The warmth and joy in the responses to Elliot Page's announcement on here is a lovely thing on a cold and dark Tuesday in a fairly bad year 👍
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"See the thing with your Volvics and your Evians is that they don't have the natural electrolytes that are vital for rehydration."
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if you know who this house belongs to, we can be friends
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Just found out you can read all the Rush Hour Crushes on the Metro website. Huge news for anyone, like me, who enjoys the insane behaviour of other people.
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I'll be putting the £15 I could have spent on watching United this weekend towards the MND Association. I hope other football fans do the same. Rob Burrow is a hero.
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The Year Three teacher when you and the boys were laughing at "I was cold, I was naked, were you there, were you there?" during hymms in assembly.
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The main thing to remember that behind the headlines and the public criticism is a human being who has dreamed of leading this country since she was a teenager involved in student politics. In a matter of weeks that dream has completely collapsed. And that is very funny.
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Every freshers week picture on Facebook circa 2004-2009
Bloc Party during Bloc Party Performs In Aid of Tsunami Victims at Virgin Super Store in London, United Kingdom (2005)
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OK so they got a little lad to bring the ball on for this Warrington match in a go-kart thing but he can't stop it. Kick off delayed. I'm dying.
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Too many people said "they aren't real football fans" the other week. They are. English football has a racism problem.
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You can only visit the countries in one of these groups on your holidays for the rest of your life. Where are you picking?
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🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
When you were young, who did you think was the pinnacle of beauty?
Sarah (still do, tbh)
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Carragher an absolute master of following up his own joke with a great exaggerated laugh. Something you see from some of the great pintmen. Challenging those around him to meet his banter and possibly even raise it. Brilliant energy. Love it.
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@Carl_Disley
I'm in Liverpool and my grandparents live not far from Burnley. Happy to take him over and visit them while he's at the match.
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Rangers reportedly in talks to sign Spanish left-back Ángel Revíve from segunda división side Alkaliño. Gerrard thought to be keen on adding some fluidity and bottle to the Ibrox back four.
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Piers Morgan leaving GMB in the same year two rival UK news channels are launching (one backed by Murdoch, another by Andrew Neil) feels a bit too much like this was always on the cards to me.
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Could listen to Gary Neville angrily bemoaning how soft Arsenal are for hours and hours. Very soothing stuff. Like coming home.
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Nothing to add to the Kate Bush discourse except for this extremely powerful picture, for which you're all very welcome.
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When you insist you've finished dancing at a wedding but Real Gone Kid comes on and you step up for one last stand.
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19th September. Call it. Technical outerwear is back in. Big day for your Patagonias, your Arc'teryxs, your Haglöfs, your Battenwears, your Fjallravens.
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Quite simply the best collection of quotes from a single article ever.
The city that never sleeps: complaints of New Yorkers’ noisy sex are rising
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Unsworth setting up the Everton line in the shape of Wigan's 1994 Challenge Cup winners is an interesting approach.
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Been doing it for 15 years but not sure I enjoy anything more than when I come home on a Saturday night and read about different isolated archipelagos and islands. Five pints and imagining what it must be like on the Pitcairn Islands. I'm so happy.
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Crying at the shotputters and weightlifters lying perfectly still so their bed doesn't explode.
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Haven't seen this many wimps bottle it in Europe since me and my mates went to Ibiza when we were 18 and didn't talk to girls.
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Seen the cost of these hotels for the Liverpool parade date. Madness. Regretfully any travelling top reds looking for a spare room can't have ours because I simply do not want you round. Thanks.
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Fair play to Gerrard for delivering the scousest picture ever on the big stage.
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This is the father of the bride on a stag do to Bratislava who hasn't had a drink since New Year's Eve 1999 and has just seen his future son in law come out of the plane bogs in a mankini and a Ben Fogle mask.
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The first time the Goodison microphone picks up on a fella in his 50s shouting at Bielsa from the Paddock to "get up off that fucking bucket" is when I happily retire from watching football. Won't top that.
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26% of children in this MP's constituency live in relative poverty.
@RachelW094
Unpatriotic lefties who poke fun at the poppy appeal would be top of my list of what’s wrong with this country.
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This egg is doing the noise Gary Neville makes when a player goes down in the box.
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Hello I'd just like to make you all aware of this portable flaky salt tin with a sliding lid. Thanks.
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I like how City have managed to find a Catalonian coach who could also very feasibly be a fella from Burnage called Alan.
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Seamus Coleman is going out of his way to help out an old dear with her bags on this plane. Also being great with two kids who are clearly buzzing to see him. Very nice.
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I've really missed Gary Neville lamenting a full-back who can't defend. Pure Barclays.
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This is incredibly moving. I hope he is able to find the clarity and calm that everyone deserves. A brave man.
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Me when they make going out for a few nice pints with the lads illegal.
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Hearing reports that Steven Gerrard is heavily scouting defensive midfielder Al Kalines from Bosnian Liga 12 side FK Elektrolyte. Sees the anchorman as a natural fit at Ibrox who'll help to revitalise the squad.
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Awful lot of very clever British people seem to find it hilariously baffling that an electorate would vote for a self-serving extreme right-wing narcissist 11 months after voting for a self-serving extreme right-wing narcissist.
Must be the accent.
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Every mum in their dressing gown watching the kids make a shit tip of the front room on Christmas morning.
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They should just get Hermes to do it yeah. Looking forward to them mixing orders up and volleying 1000 kilos of Ammonium Nitrate behind our bins while an agricultural plant in Telford gets my socks from Uniqlo.
On line companies have attracted lots of extra drivers to do parcel van deliveries. HGV employers need to learn from them how they did it.
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