James
@haverofsize
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Last Seen Profiles
When girls tell you their friend is hilarious this is the type of humour they’re referring to.
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He’s 9 goals away from last seasons golden boot winning total.
There are 30 games left.
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“Dad have you seen the nail clippers lying around?”
Paul Scholes:
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🏴 Eddie Howe is influencing his players to drink more fluids so they don’t keel over and die mid game.
Absolute elite mindset ⚫️⚪️
🇪🇸 Mikel Arteta is influencing his players and staff to settle down and start families so that they aren't distracted by playboy lifestyles and can focus 100% on their football next season.
Absolute elite mindset ⚪️🔴
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Brassier is off and Brest are exposed
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Do you know how hard it must be to get a kid to that size. It’s a criminal act.
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Absolute scenes when the highest spending club in the premier league becomes the highest spending club in the premier league.
🚨 BREAKING: Nine Two UK Holdings Ltd., with Sheikh Jassim as one of the directors, is officially a company in the UK, starting today.
Via
@UnitedStandMUFC
👈
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“And then everyone holds their phone up”
Aston Villa will become the first football club in the UK to stage a mobile phone light show at Villa Park on Friday night. ✨
Click below to download the official Aston Villa App and find out more about Friday's spectacle… ⬇️
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Alexander Isak has left the Sweden training camp and will miss their next two matches because of injury
#nufc
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From 19th to 9th in half a season, Newcastle are the most menacing prospect in world football.
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The 1st of January will mark one full year since Big John started his diet
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People in glass houses an all that
I don’t like Newcastle. The club. The city. Their pagan fans. I hate Cheryl Cole. Alan Shearer is a twat. Sarah Millican any even funny. The weather is constantly shit. It’s always dark. It’s full of industrial smog. They still use WAP & only eat tinned food.
Fucking shit hole.
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I know it’s early doors but I reckon Howe has pulled off the biggest escape in premier league history. A monstrous turnaround that won’t be talked about enough because of the January window.
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What Foden said to Greenwood as soon as he put he phone down
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I was there when he got us the equaliser against Southampton before Bruno got the winner. That game was crucial at the time. Tweets like this are in poor taste.
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Clearly never seen Fabian Schar score from outside the box before.
Is there anything more majestic?
No
The answer is no.
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Newcastle are currently the premier leagues cover photo. Alpha status.
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I’ve never known a player further away from mastering captaincy than Bruno Fernandes
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I will love Howe forever for making an arse of these pundits. Fed up of hearing praise for Bruce and Big Sam I have nothing but ill will for anyone who employs their kind.
⚫️ “I’ve not seen a difference from Newcastle. No, no, no…not enough!”
😬 “The fans don’t like shutting up shop but that’s exactly what they need to do!”
🗣 “Playing a 442 - it’s killing confidence.”
Danny Murphy doesn’t see any difference from Steve Bruce’s
#NUFC
to Howe’s.
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Tagging owners with transfer demands is the absolute pits. We’ve mocked Real Madrid fans for this kind of behaviour for years. Plastics mentality.
Goals at 21:
Lionel Messi 🇦🇷 (42)
Cristiano Ronaldo 🇵🇹 (27)
Robert Lewandowski 🇵🇱 (44)
Zlatan Ibrahimovic 🇸🇪 (31)
DUSAN VLAHOVIC 🇷🇸 (76)!
Get this man signed
@ghodoussi
. What an unbelievable statement signing it would be and would certainly save our season!
#NUFC
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Imagine hating Newcastle so much you’re sat there rooting for fucking PSG 😂😂😂
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She’d give you the ride of your life and I stand by that
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Infuriates me how many people would be happy to sell him
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@SkySports_Keith
@nufctrust
They delayed answering until NUST could prove they were a separate entity from NUFC and not in fact Mike Ashley in a wig.
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Hahahahhana what a cunt he’s made me look
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Keiron Dyer; a man who fought his own team mate during a match, questions whether Saint Maximin is a team player.
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Wish they’d stop waving this cunt around as if he’s some fucking mascot
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6 out of 11 of these players were pre-takeover. Howe is unquestionably the best English coach around.
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If we make fucking Jesse Lingard our highest earner at £150,000 we’ve had an absolute stinker. What on earth has he done to warrant a pay rise.
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Absolutely howling that Holly Blades thinks that the club should structure it’s ticket pricing around part time 18 year students 😭😭
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Pearson gets absolutely everywhere doesn’t he?
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If Anzhi Makhachkala can sign prime Eto’o I’m sure football players will manage in Newcastle.
Eddie Howe refuses to make promises over January investment but says only obstacle to attracting players will be league position (amid claims targets won't want to live in Newcastle)
#nufc
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Last year Martin Samuel called for Pep’s head after losing the champions league quarters finals - having won a domestic TREBLE the season before. Fast forward a year and Bruce will be the saddest sacking of the season despite being totally WINLESS.
MARTIN SAMUEL: Steve Bruce's inevitable sacking at Newcastle will be the saddest all season
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Let’s make a thread of the best football related pictures. I’ll start
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Not even Leonardo DiCaprio could pull Burnsie from the Twitter inception universe he’s built for himself. He’s so deeply immersed that he can switch nationality and identity at will.
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Where’s an xl bully attack when you need one
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Villa Chelsea being televised over Man U Newcastle is absolutely fucking criminal by the way.
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I’m afraid nothing will ever top this
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He’s probably banned smoking in nurseries or something
France🇫🇷 Macron is learning what it means to go against The People.
Resist🔥🔥🔥
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A network of sex offenders
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Killer whales deliberately hitting boats off coast of Spain and Portugal
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Fixed it for you 👍
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Competitive as fuck mate
PSR is a good thing, in my opinion. It means the Prem remains competitive. Why politicians get involved is beyond me. If the club is in their constituency and affects their community then fair enough. But aren’t they busy enough? What next? Rishi Sunak complaining about VAR?
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A man who’s never seen long sleeves.
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Ya bird shouts yoooo whenever it kicks off
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We literally have the premier leagues all time top scorer what a mental flex
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Getting a rod on over different Saudi sponsors is a proper mag thing
These are absolute 🔥🔥🔥by
@rinconmagpie
Middle one (Saudi Airlines) is the most likely but I would LOVE the Aramco number.
#NUFC
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“Unwise but not illegal”
UK TV presenter Philip Schofield admits affair with younger ITV colleague
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I know we’re supposed to move on from Bruce but it is fucking funny.
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Said it before and I’ll say it again: Portuguese Sean Casey
🚨Kieran Trippier is now advanced. It’s only a matter of time. Reports confirming my info today. ⏳⚫️⚪️
#NUFC
#Newcastle
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Right on cue, why do people respond to these selfies with normal chit chat hahahaha it doesn’t make you look any less thirsty you may as well join the porn hub comments and say you’re there to socialise for all it does.
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Martin when he sees his Dad in a cock line up
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“Ah this place is so gritty yah”
@labourball
Hun I’ve been to the grittiest of pubs, I’ve just never been approached with a steak in one
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@SimonGwynn
@NUFC
Just own it. You didn’t get sacked because fans colluded against you, you got sacked because your employers thought it was disgusting and wanted nout to do with you.
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I get there is a certain amount of conditioning that takes place when you join the army but at what point does your conscience completely switch off for you to be able to destroy civilian life on sight? You have to become so far detached from reality.
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Burnsie’s block list
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To say Eddie Howe has transformed Joelinton and Almiron is a bit of an injustice at this point as it’s pretty much a fucking exorcism at this point.
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I can’t stand these constant unrealistic transfer rumours
Newcastle and Fiorentina are having contacts re Vlahovic.
Working on a 70m€ bid.
Fiorentina keen to sell, the player not that much about destination
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“Congratulations on your semi final ticket, perhaps you might actually learn some songs now instead of being a passenger”
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Anyone remember seeing this creature next to the away end last night?
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Which is good when you consider the alternative
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People who video themselves at games are incredibly dangerous.
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Newcastle fans when they see a slightly exotic looking man they don’t recognise
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I don’t care what anybody says, Santiago Munoz is class. He may not have made a first team appearance but he puts his all into every game he plays and does it with the biggest smile on his face. For me, he deserves to be part of this exciting project more than anyone 🇲🇽 ♥️
#nufc
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This may actually be the most brain dead, flag shagging mongo tweet yet.
Apparently FACEBOOK are trying to ban this picture
Nobody seems to know why or if it's even true but I'm sharing it anyway
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