George Lewis
@georgelewiscom
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Following
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101
Statuses
1,800
Comedian. Mainly on insta tbh mate.
United Kingdom
Joined January 2014
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Pinned Tweet
My book is out today! Please buy and save me from a Partridge style pulping 3 months from now
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My article about how Jurgen Klopp ruined my life, helpfully screengrabbed so you can have a read.
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My son has apraxia of speech/ verbal dyspraxia. Wrote this article because I really want
@chris_kammy
to know what a positive impact he’s having ❤️
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Sweet! Just realised packs of mince come with a free face wipe in the bottom!
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I’ve just got a good feeling football’s coming home, Jack & Dani will win , the NHS will be ok and the sun is NEVER EVER going in.
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GRRR just seen a group of idiots sunbathing in the park. Would’ve said something but didn’t want to leave my bbq unattended
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We’re not finding out if our baby is a boy or a girl. I’ll love him the same whatever gender he is.
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10 mins ago a girl on the train put her foot on mine. I didn’t immediately move it. Now I’m stuck forever.
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@DailyMailUK
It's hard to be shocked by the depths you will sink. But this really is low. What do your mums think of you?
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DUP look like the family members you don’t want to invite to the wedding, but mum says you have to.
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With high heels my gf is about 2 cm taller than me.
Without the heels she's about 6 cm taller than me.
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My mate told me to meet him at Laurel’s chippy but he’s not here ????
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Just gonna buy this for nana... Wait, what's rule number 3?!
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Edinburgh show on sale! It’s about trying to be more like Liam Gallagher to get a gf 🤓➡️😎
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I get funny looks when I take my dog for a walk in my dressing gown. But I think he looks good in my dressing gown.
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To those who said I should’ve got the main Top Gear job- Thank you for your support, I’ll see you at dad’s birthday meal.
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I'm on Celebrity Mastermind tomorrow 5:10pm BBC1. 🤓
My subject is OASIS
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In episode 3 of
@BBC_TopGear
#ExtraGear
I hit a cruise with
@MrRoryReid
😎 it's available on
@bbcthree
now 🚗
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“Waiting for a cuddle? Nooo, it’s just what I do when I’m about to touch my ears.”
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I’ve written a book 🤓👶🏻 and it’s got loads of contributions from comedian dads, mums and doctors.
‘Don’t Panic! All the stuff the expectant dad needs to know’ is out Feb ‘22
pre order:
#dontpanicbook
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Want a cheap family portrait? Just stand outside your house and wait for a Google Streetview car to drive past.
@TwopTwips
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Bought a coat off a mate & he’d left a gift from his gf in the pocket- Sex coupons.
Which puts us in a complicated place, legally speaking.
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I’m going to stream Three Lions so many times today, it’ll pay for
@Baddiel
& Skinner to get new kitchens.
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Just done my 1st gig of my 1st solo tour in South Molton
@PloughArts
and couldn’t have had a more incredible audience! Thank you!!
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Thanks for all the support for
@BBC_TopGear
#ExtraGear
this series. Me and my buddies
@MrRoryReid
&
@harrismonkey
have had a blast. 🙌🏻
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I got another ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4-star review & a quote I might get tattooed on me: ‘George Lewis is as much a comedian as Oasis is the 90s’ 😎
Review: George Lewis A Man, a Plan and a Girl with Fake Tan at Pleasance Courtyard
@Georgebot5000
@ThePleasance
#EdFringe
#EdFestMag
#FringeReview
#IntoTheUnknown
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Is it me or has the satsuma world become completely unregulated? It seems the term ‘easy-peeler’ is used with no basis whatsoever any more. It’s like the fucking Wild West.
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For some reason, it’s harder to relax in the bath when you become a parent.
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Nana wrapped everyone's presents in this. Then she realised.
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This is my Knebworth!
While you're here, please come see me in Leicester 22nd Feb. Link in bio 👆🏻🙃
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The last Extra Gear audience of the series and they were awesome. Cheers!!
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4.5/5 from fringebiscuit! Get innnnn 😁😁😁
George Lewis: A Man, a Plan, a Girl With Fake Tan. Watch talented raconteur
@Georgebot5000
narrate his school-age seduction attempts with Liam Gallagher as his primary behavioural role model. A witty, self-deprecating & downright hilarious set from this accomplished comic. 4.5/5
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Last week’s column about the Arsenal Captaincy Referendum 🗳
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This is my dad's face when I tell him about something they do 'down in London'.
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Petrol is now £1.01 p/l more expensive than it was in I’m Alan Partridge 😯
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If I was around when Hitler was alive I would've done so many tweets.
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Yes, Boris Johnson was partying while people were dying, but let’s put this in a bit of context- Ed Miliband once ate a butty badly.
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The uncensored version of the Bleep Test is just a PE teacher saying:
“Twats...
.
.
.
.
Twats
.
.
.
Twats
.
.
Twats
.
Twats
Twats
Twats.”
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That's it for episode six! Thanks for watching. Remember to flick over to
@BBCiPlayer
or
@bbcthree
for
#ExtraGear
now
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Just found out it's changed to NEXT SATURDAY (13th at 5:10pm)
This is embarrassing.
I'm on Celebrity Mastermind tomorrow 5:10pm BBC1. 🤓
My subject is OASIS
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Amazing doc
@chris_kammy
I know it isn’t fair and you won’t feel lucky, but every kid with apraxia is lucky that you developed the condition. Because you are going to make their lives so much better ❤️
And what a top mate
@benshephard
is!
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Doing my 1st tour 🤪
Devon 8/2
Sudbury 22/2
Leicester 24/2
Barton 16/3
Manchester 17/3
Brighton 22/3
Bristol 13/4
🎟 in bio
Plz tell ppl 😬
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One good thing about all this is getting to see what famous people put on their walls. Sensational stuff from Kammy!
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They needed to make a statement. The people expected it.
It is with great sadness that we acknowledge Her Majesty the Queen's passing. For 70 years, she stewarded us through our darkest and brightest days. Thank you Your Majesty. RIP
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Contestants on the apprentice might be soulless morons, but my God are they quick at getting ready in the morning.
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Looking forward to seeing crowds return to football this weekend for all the big matches on the Isles of Scilly.
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Check out the cast of narrators for my parenting audiobook 🤩
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I just signalled to a waitress I want her autograph and she misunderstood. Again.
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Just try and watch this less than 200000 times
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The drawer in the bottom of our fridge is just a cold compost bin.
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Expect to see more people from Eastern Europe here soon.
The pound is now worthless, making the U.K. the new cheap stag do destination.
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I got another 4 star review! Woohooo. 8 shows left. Tickets available, but they’ve been selling out so buy now (please) 🤓
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I’m not going to get too carried away. All I’ll say is SOLSKJAER IS THE GREATEST MANAGER OF ALL TIME AND WE’RE NEVER GOING TO LOSE.
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If we all get jobs like Jeremy Kyle tells us to, he'll have no viewers. THEN HE'LL BE SORRY!
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Thought WordArt & ClipArt were dying out?
Get yourself down to your local GP’s waiting room!!
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I get so embarrassed watching sex scenes in films with my parents.
How do they even get those roles?!
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My child just told me if I don’t sell loads of tickets for this he’ll think I’m an embarrassing disgrace ☹️ so London mate’s RT 🙏🏻
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Final episode in the series of the Stand Up Sketch Show tonight at 10 on ITV2
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REALLY this time 😝
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I love Homes Under the Hammer. But the title sequence needs a revamp. I’m just saying what everyone else is scared to.
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What a great month performing every night with these LADZ. Thanks to all who came to watch
@ThePleasance
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Backstage in Coalville on the
@tomallencomedy
tour 😳if you don't see us, we've been sacrificed.
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If you think Luther seems unhappy now, wait til he takes that car for its MOT.
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The money you save shopping in ikea, you end up spending on the divorce.
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👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 incredible work from
@HWCCLiverpool
Rivalries put aside | Liverpool's Hot Water club donates £5k to Manchester's Frog & Bucket
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To save time writing George on all my labels, my mum bought all my clothes from Asda.
It was worse for my mate Joe La Senza.
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***MANCHESTER***
I’m doing my tour show at The Lowry March 17th. Tickets just gone on sale here 👉🏻👉🏻👉🏻
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