Nick Harvey
@mrnickharvey
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I write music for TV so you don’t have to. Baskerville’s dad. Paul’s son. Ember’s accompanist.
Crowborough, East Sussex 🦒
Joined January 2009
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Dad has dementia. Sometimes he drifts into another world and I feel like I’m losing him. He is never more present, however, than when he plays the piano.
He came to mine today and I asked him to play one of his compositions. He thought he wouldn’t be able to remember it.
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Dad’s ability to improvise and compose beautiful melodies on the fly has always amazed me.
Tonight, I gave him four random notes as a starting point.
Although his dementia is getting worse, moments like this bring him back to me.
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Every night, for as long as I can remember, my cat and my twelve year old share a pillow.
How it started: How it's going:
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Hundreds and thousands told to self isolate.
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The world’s going to shit but here’s Robin van Persie restoring faith in humanity.
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My wife walks into the kitchen.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asks.
“Err,” I reply, sheepishly. “It’s for a stockpiling joke.”
“For Twitter?”
“Yes, darling.”
Under her breath, she mumbles something that sounds like ‘dick’ then leaves the room.
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At 80, my dad Paul improvised a masterpiece, raised £1m+ for charity and got to no.1.
He also got Covid.
It has hit him hard. I’m really worried about his mental state.
He is 81 today. Please wish him a happy birthday. I’ll read him your replies. They may give him a lift.
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Having been told that a reporter had received a letter from a child wondering if the Easter Bunny would be exempt from the lockdown, New Zealand’s PM Jacinda Ardern once again showed why she is one of the great world leaders.
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A lot of people are sharing the Ross Kemp on spice video, but I’ve worked on a number of his documentaries over the years, and this clip, when a gun was pulled on him in Papua New Guinea, is even more extraordinary.
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Cancel the search party. The best human has been found.
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My dog Ember and I have decided to perform a selection of
#heatwave
duets over the next few days.
Ladies and gentlemen, here’s our first offering - Glenn Frey’s The Heat is On.
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All the horizontal lines are actually parallel and I can’t stop staring at them.
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This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on the news in a long time.
Director - 0 Sign Man - 1
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My sons and I went round to dad’s tonight. Dad was looking a bit glum, so my youngest decided to ask Alexa to fart.
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I must be one of the few people to have never seen this before today. It is truly joyous. Watch with the sound up.
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What is the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever done in front of you?
Mine is probably when, half way through a punk gig, my mum, having heard that I was there, turned up at the rough local pub and dragged me home.
I was sixteen.
I was also the band’s lead singer.
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My phone’s camera doesn’t do it justice, but the
#supermoon
looks absolutely spectacular above the trees of Crowborough, East Sussex.
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• Buy pack of Waitrose baby wipes.
• Open it.
• Pull out wipe.
• BABY CHEF!
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Of course, they would never tweet this, so I thought I’d mock it up for them instead.
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What are your parenting fails?
Once, at school pick-up, I grabbed my son from behind and, WHOOPING LIKE A FUN DAD, threw him high in the air.
A woman screamed.
I had made a terrible mistake.
As the poor boy ran to his mother, my actual son stared at me, aghast, from afar.
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My dog Ember and I have decided to start a thread of isolation duets.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you today’s offering - Tiffany’s I Think We’re Alone Now.
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@MailOnlineVideo
@MailOnline
I would rather hack off my penis with a rusty spoon, then marinate it in garlic and hot pepper sauce and feed it to my dog, than let you feature my children on your hate-filled webshite. Fuck off.
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Every morning, walking to school, my sons stop at the gate of a small house at the end of a narrow path to say hi to Henry. Most days, he is there, with tail wagging and slobber dripping; overjoyed to see them.
For the past few days, the gate has been unattended.
Today, this.
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Man on phone outside my son's school:
"A shepherd. She's a fucking SHEPHERD! You won't believe who got Mary."
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Forget about Covid for a moment and marvel instead at this 3D illusion on an advertising display in Tokyo.
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I've condensed Donald's 33,500 tweets into one handy summary.
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Pretend you’re the Prime Minister by starting a new job, fucking everything up in the first week, then going on holiday.
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Towards the end of Enid Blyton’s life, her stories started to take a dark turn.
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“Hundreds of thousands of people are going to die... The professionals did the models. I was never involved in a model. At least not this kind of model."
Fucking hell, Trump is such an abhorrent cunt.
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@SkyNews
Of course, the FBI would never actually tweet a reply like this, so I thought I’d mock it up for them instead.
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Hey,
@DailyMailUK
. I’ve got a dynamite story about Keir Starmer for you. My mum used to teach him the piano (true) and she said that he was a really nice kid. THIS WILL DESTROY HIM.
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Damn, this is powerful.
Artists installed seesaws at the border wall so that kids in the U.S. and Mexico could play together. It was designed by architect Ronald Rael.
Beautiful reminder that we are connected: what happens on one side impacts the other.
🇲🇽 ❤️ 🇺🇸
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I’ve added a sweet little song accompaniment.
Volume up.
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I'm sure you've already seen it, but if you haven't, here's a letter from Joe Biden to his staff in 2014. If only all bosses were like him.
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Son: What are caterpillars afraid of?
Me: It's unlikely that they experience fear. They're not self-aware, so...
Son: [sadly] Dogerpillars.
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When I was two, my baby brother died. I wasn’t told about what happened until many years later. Mum and dad rarely speak about him. It is simply too painful for them.
Dad just showed me a photo of Benjamin for the first time.
My heart is breaking.
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Apropos of everything, here’s my dog Ember singing the Match of the Day theme tune.
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Next time I step on Lego, I will simply get taller. I'm a bloody genius.
http://t.co/0gEoX4wVtw
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I miss the days when people in power resigned after they fucked up.
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As he recovers from Coronavirus, dad signs a copy of Now That’s What I Call Music 107 for one of his carers.
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Just a quick reminder that there is nobody more stupid than the president of the United States of America.
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Love him or hate him, you can’t deny that Nigel Farage is a cunt.
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It’s Superhero Day at my son’s school. He has decided to go as a Covid vaccine scientist.
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Dear BBC.
Please, for crying out loud, stop giving
@Nigel_Farage
airtime.
He is swamp life.
All the best,
Most decent British citizens.
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I’m really loving the new Alan Partridge show this morning.
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My nine year old has been sitting at the piano, composing, for the past hour. I love him very much, but my god, his music's shit.
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Dad hasn’t slept in his bed for years. He spends his nights in a chair. It causes no end of problems, physically.
His carers and I beg him to use his bed, to no avail.
Clutching at straws, I said I’d buy him a kebab if he used his bed again.
Last night, he slept in his bed.
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My phone’s camera doesn’t really do it justice, but the
#bloodmoon
looks absolutely spectacular from Crowborough, East Sussex.
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