Daddy Go Fish
@daddygofish
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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Warning: alcohol leads to kids which leads to lots more alcohol.
Joined January 2021
My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now when she's mad at me I just say "Linda wouldn't get mad about that.".
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my wife asked me to pick up a thing at the store so i spent an hour not finding it at a sports bar having chicken wings and beer.
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10yo: mommy look!. her, driving: can't see what you're pointing at back there. him: oh, thought you said you had eyes in the back your head. her:.
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RT @treydayway: I'm heading to the beach without a beach body, so I shall display all of my back fat to the world.
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RT @Camel_Crushin: Someone parked in my usual spot at the grocery store and I’m considering leaving them a note.
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RT @Dadsaysjokes: When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
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RT @nayele18maybe: Introduced myself to the new neighbors by backing over their trash can and passing out in their front yard, so they can….
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RT @dadmann_walking: rival dad and I are now actual rivals after getting the sheriff involved today. Please give me wrong answers only fo….
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RT @allholls: If I tell you I'm in a really good place right now, I'm probably in a chocolate factory.
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RT @moonstruckinnyc: *takes a pic of watermelons at the store*. *asks chatgpt to pick the best one*.
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RT @Angel_150913: I was raised on hose water and old fashioned whoopings and I can tell you for a fact that I did not grow up okay.
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RT @terrip38: I thought my car’s headlights were off but it turns out they just need cataract surgery.
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RT @deloisivete: Standing desk usage so far: . time sitting: 90%.time standing: 5%.time accidentally hitting the button that makes it go up….
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