please turn your camera off while eating during a zoom meeting

Merry new socks day, everyone.

it's criminal that there's nothing there to warn him

nobody can ever prepare you for how Trump says “vagina”

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

From about 1983 to 1991, Phil Collins sang like every fourth song on the radio. If you were in your car with the radio on for 15 minutes, you heard Phil Collins at least once. That’s just how it was. I feel like those over 40 will confirm this to be accurate.

do y’all eat texas toast w yall spaghetti in italy

Did Twitter black out or something? I have no clue what everyone is talking about.

Ever get the feeling you were taken against your will to a giant inescapable Fyre Fest

(Drinking a huge mug with 30 sleepy time tea bags in it) goodbye forevr

i’ve been taking some notes

absolutely losing my mind at this article about the new east village Panda Express written by someone who has never heard of Panda Express in their life

The correct amount of garlic to use is twice what the recipe calls for, unless the cookbook was published before 1990, in which case it’s 3-4x.

"IS THIS A COYOTE"

Wth.

A couple dividing up their beanie baby collection in divorce court, 1990s

america is wrong about everything except fahrenheit. farenheit is the correct way to measure temperature. fahrenheit is like "man, it's so hot out. it's gotta be like.......100 hots."

If they try to take A/C away when it’s 100 degrees every day, there will be mutiny