Super 70s Sports
@Super70sSports
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Store: ; Podcast: ; Media/business inquiries: VeltreJ @gersh .com; Cameo:
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"Ladies and gentlemen, I've looked into the future and you will not believe this shit."
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I think, 25 years later, it’s pretty goddamn safe to say that nobody made an entrance like Chris Farley.
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Remember when Pizza Hut pan pizzas were basically a goddamn culinary delicacy? They’d bring them out in a real fucking skillet that was piping at about 700 degrees Fahrenheit right as your third song kicked in on the jukebox after you’d played a game of Galaga. We were kings.
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The Knights of Columbus would raise money for you but they weren’t gonna sugarcoat it.
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Best girl dad Halloween costume ever. Or maybe it wasn’t Halloween in which case even more respect.
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Unless you were there in 1982, you can’t even imagine how baller this setup was.
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If you are under a certain age, let me assure you this apple pie was served at the surface temperature of the planet Mercury.
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Hagler vs. Hearns, Round 1. If you’ve seen it, you’re welcome. If you haven’t, the next three minutes may change your goddamn life.
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If you’re under 30 and think LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan, you need some coaching.
If you’re over 30 and think LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan, you’re just fucking stupid.
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The exact moment puberty began for an entire generation.
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Remember when Pizza Hut pan pizzas were basically a goddamn culinary delicacy? They’d bring them out in a real fucking skillet that was piping at about 700 degrees Fahrenheit right as your third song kicked in on the jukebox after you’d played a game of Galaga. We were kings.
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Calm down. Elon Musk literally sends people to OUTER FUCKING SPACE. I’m pretty goddamn confident he can keep an app running.
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What was with our society’s obsession with quicksand when we were kids? At the time I thought it was like the world’s third leading cause of death.
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This motherfucker ran a solid kingdom and I think some acknowledgement of that is overdue. Low crime, clean streets, quality monarch.
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Hulk Hogan riding a motorcycle while some guy just chucks a dog into the river.
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Some kid had the Christmas of his goddamn life in 1981 and I have the receipt.
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Remember when the fucking Navy had the best college basketball player?
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Mike Tyson is 53 years old here. I want you to watch this clip at least twice and then imagine him at 23. Yeah.
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If you are under a certain age, let me assure you this apple pie was served at the surface temperature of the planet Mercury.
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One of these guys played 15 years in the NBA. The other is Yao Ming.
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I think, 25 years later, it’s safe to say that nobody made an entrance like Chris Farley.
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What if Bobby Knight filmed a golf tutorial about how to play out of sand traps and we got to see the outtakes? It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect. Which means you should watch this.
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Hagler vs. Hearns, Round 1. If you’ve seen it, you’re welcome. If you haven’t, the next three minutes may change your goddamn life.
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Ricky Williams really got boned by the NFL. Dude just wanted to spark a little weed for his anxiety while running for a thousand every year and he got treated like he was fucking El Chapo. I call bullshit.
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Let’s pause today to recognize the greatest moment in bowling history, which occurred when Pete Weber won the 2012 U.S. Open and was so impressed with himself that he lost his goddamn mind.
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Some kid had the Christmas of his goddamn life in 1981 and I have the receipt.
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What movie death hit you the hardest? I’ll start:
It was supposed to be an exhibition!
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Dick Butkus catching a fucking extra point pass after a bad snap may be the best thing you see today.
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Kids who watch Looney Tunes cartoons turn into better adults.
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Historians now believe that at one time approximately 93.1% of Americans had this alarm clock on their nightstand.
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Pulling for Mike Leach tonight. This clip alone makes him a goddamn American hero.
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Let me be clear: anyone who sends their kids out trick or treating as Lamont and Fred is a great goddamn American.
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In 1965, the A’s sign 59-year-old Satchel Paige as a gimmick to generate fan interest. Nobody informs Ol’ Satch it’s a joke, however, and he proceeds to just fucking shut out the Red Sox for three innings.
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Super Sky Point to Norm Macdonald. The world just got a hell of a lot less funny. This man was a genius.
#RIP
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Kids who watch Looney Tunes cartoons turn into better adults.
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If you are under a certain age, let me assure you this apple pie was served at the surface temperature of the planet Mercury.
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Secretariat, the Belmont Stakes, 1973. If you know, you know. If you don’t, sit your ass down and watch the fastest horse god ever put on this planet do something you’ll never forget.
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Let’s all watch Larry Bird fight the fucking Detroit Pistons for a minute …
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Shout out to the adult on the porch who watched this entire scenario unfold and just fucking sat there.
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Historians now believe that at one time approximately 93.1% of Americans had this alarm clock on their nightstand.
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BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth II dead, Reggie Jackson in custody.
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One of the absolute most crucial back-to-school purchases of the 80s. Dudes over 40 will back me up on this.
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In 1965, the A’s sign 59-year-old Satchel Paige as a gimmick to generate fan interest. Nobody informs Ol’ Satch it’s a joke, however, and he proceeds to just fucking shut out the Red Sox for three innings.
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San Diego State’s all-time assist leader?
Tony Gwynn, 590.
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If you remember Barry Sanders, you’re welcome. If you don’t, get educated.
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I pounded these motherfuckers like Tic Tacs throughout my childhood and am now immune to all diseases.
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Everyone in the ballpark: “Here’s a routine double play ball.”
Albert Belle: “Looks more like a fielder’s choice to me, motherfucker.”
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Just a guy with 39 successful combat flight missions on his resume about to dig in with a guy who was a machine gunner at Omaha Beach on D-Day behind the plate. Two goddamn men.
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Throw up a hand if you remember when the newspaper sports section was one of the greatest pleasures of your day.
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In my humble opinion, the greatest sitcom episode ever.
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Nolan Ryan is 75 years old and I have no doubt there’s at least one more major league strikeout in that arm.
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I pounded these motherfuckers like Tic Tacs throughout my childhood and am now immune to all diseases.
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This door weighed more than the entire fucking car you drive now.
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Here’s a fleet Wayne Gretzky just dominating Sugar Ray Leonard, Bjorn Borg, and Pele ...
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Throw up a hand if you remember how satisfying it was to put a five into one of these sweet bastards.
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On Kentucky Derby day, here’s your reminder that Secretariat was faster than any horse you’ll see today. The year is 1973 and this is his track record run. Untouched for 50 years. The GOAT.
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Kids getting thrown off right and left. Total carnage. Wails of anguish. Not one adult gave a single shit about it.
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Let me be clear: anyone who sends their kids out trick or treating as Lamont and Fred is a great goddamn American.
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Hard to believe a family with so much inbreeding somehow produced this …
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Throw up a hand if you remember when the morning sports section was one of the greatest pleasures in life.
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If you’re over 30, you’ll be able to hear this tweet …
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I say Babe Ruth would fucking rake today too. Motherfucker got off a train to swing a 9-pound bat at filthy dead-ass baseballs with guys throwing spitballs at his fucking head without a helmet while he was drunk. Pretty sure he could hit Freddy Peralta.
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Throw up a hand if you remember when the morning sports section was one of the greatest pleasures in life.
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Here’s every 70s Christmas as represented by a single photograph.
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Jose Canseco: Had a 40/40 season on steroids.
Darryl Strawberry: Had a 39/36 season while coked to the gills and fucking people between at-bats.
Advantage: Strawberry
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Barry Sanders’ ratings in Madden were so high it allowed him to do crazy shit like this that ruined the integrity of the game - hang on, being told this is actual NFL footage.
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Larry Bird on the floor getting drunk in a pile of children’s toys while Michael Jordan plays ping-pong. There needs to be 30 for 30 about this.
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The Far Side was so fucking good it’s still ahead of its time …
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When you launched a couple of Wiffle Ball homers on a 90-degree day then came inside with your friends and plowed through about a half-dozen of these sweet bastards ... nobody tells you at the time but that’s actually about as good as life gets.
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These guys call this roofball and I would much rather watch it than the NBA …
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My favorite part of the Magic-Bird rivalry is that two men from different worlds who competed like rabid animals came to legitimately love one another. That’s the best of what sports has to offer if you ask me.
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Chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever.
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Shout out to Ken Griffey Jr. for playing through the steroid era without embarrassing himself or the game.
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I miss the days when the news smacked so goddamn hard Peter Jennings had to fire up a heater just to deliver that shit.
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I’m 51 years old and I’m gonna be completely honest and say there’s at least a solid hour of entertainment here for me if I entered this room right now.
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I know every dude over 45 remembers this part of the Walk Like an Egyptian video by heart …
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Unless you were there in 1982, you can’t even imagine how baller this setup was.
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Dick Butkus catching a fucking extra point pass after a bad snap may be the best thing you see today.
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Marvin Gaye performs the GOAT national anthem at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game. If you know, you know. If you don’t, get educated.
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Marvelous Marvin Hagler vs. Thomas “Hitman” Hearns, Round 1. If you’ve seen it, I don’t need to say more. If you haven’t, the next three minutes may change your goddamn life.
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Throw up a hand if you remember when this sweet bastard was one of the most important fucking objects in your entire life.
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Throw up a hand if you’re old enough to remember typing class.
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Every kitchen in America in the 70s came equipped with this exact casserole dish.
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Shout out to Ken Griffey Jr. for playing through the steroid era without embarrassing himself or the game.
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When you launched a couple of Wiffle homers on a 90-degree day then came inside with your friends and plowed through about a half-dozen of these bastards ... nobody tells you at the time but that’s actually about as good as life gets.
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I pounded these motherfuckers like Tic Tacs throughout my childhood and am now immune to all diseases.
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Lamar Jackson gets Covid twice then says his plans are to “keep learning as much as I can” about vaccines. Motherfucker, you have already had Covid two more times than should be necessary to solve this riddle.
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Super Sky Point to Carl Weathers, the man who breathed life into the great Apollo Creed. Can we talk about what this man brought to the first three movies? So charismatic, such great performances. You wanted Rocky to fuck him up but you also secretly wanted to root for him. And,…
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If you don’t zoom in on this and look at it for at least a full minute I don’t even know you anymore.
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Tommy Lasorda, no shirt, just straight bringing the cheddar.
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Secretariat, the Belmont Stakes, 1973. If you know, you know. If you don’t, sit your ass down and watch the fastest horse god ever put on this planet do something you’ll never forget.
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Throw up a hand if you can remember when everybody smoked so much in cars they had to put ashtrays in the back of the goddamn seats.
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Every kitchen in America in the 70s came equipped with this exact casserole dish.
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Here’s Prince with some words of wisdom about the internet in 1999. We should’ve fucking listened to him.
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