As today marks the exact midpoint between New Year’s Day 2025 and Christmas Day, what better moment to officially unveil my new book: A Very British Christmas - your essential guide to navigating the festive season in true British style. Available to pre-order here

RT @LittleBrownUK: Britain is a maze of idiosyncrasies, loveable foibles and outright eccentricities and @robtemple101 aka @soverybritish i….

Going for an “any time” train ticket because understanding what constitutes “off peak” requires an expert knowledge of advanced calculus, economics, law and philosophy.

Best UK game show catchphrases:. 1. “Let’s have a look what you could’ve won” - Bullseye .2. “Say what you see” - Catchphrase .3. “Top, middle or bottom?” - Strike It Lucky .4. “You don’t get anything for a pair, not in this game” - Play Your Cards Right .5. “Our survey says…”.

Only a British person would look at a portion of rice and think “I know what would go with that… a portion of chips”.

Being the world's leading expert on what other drivers could fit a bus through.

What to say to silence a room full of Brits:. “Do we have any volunteers?”.

Me, on the sofa eating crisps, while watching Wimbledon: . “I think I might become a professional tennis player”.

Very British.

A sandwich without crisps inside is just far too quiet.

“I wasn't best pleased” . Translation: I had my fist clenched for about three days.

Suitable conversation topics with a neighbour:. 1. The weather - “bit hot,” “bit wet,” “meant to be nice at the weekend,” “meant to snow soon” etc. Just anything very obvious. 2. Bins - missing collections, questions about changes in the calendar, asking if they’ll put your bin.

Dream job.

It’s funny when a colleague asks you to do something but says, “no rush, though, finish your lunch first”. Well how kind of you! I was going to toss my sandwich in the bin and spit out my crisps until you said that.

“I wouldn't say I'm massively looking forward to it”. Translation: Since being invited I've thought of nothing except possible excuses not to go.

It’s free UK delivery, all weekend in the VBP shop. On all products.

Top five Very British barbecue stats, according to a marvellous new survey by Dole Packaged Foods Europe (@DoleSunshine) . 1. 30% overall said yes to pineapple as a BBQ topping, and 51% would try a Hawaiian hot dog. 2. 16% have cooked a Full English breakfast on a barbecue while.

Who knows what the little holes in bourbon biscuits are for? Wrong answers only please.

Oh dear. Please don’t ask the public. We’ll end up with a Mr Blobby £20 note and “NoteyMcNoteFace” written on the tenners 😑.

Some very British understatement, which I have highlighted for you, on the back cover of this book of P.G. Wodehouse letters.