Regan Arntz-Gray
@arntzgray1
Followers
1K
Following
3K
Media
108
Statuses
2K
Joined November 2023
I turned 31 and suddenly got baby fever and started enjoying history podcasts - and now I’m confused because I’m not sure if that means I’m maturing into a woman or into a middle-aged man.
66
36
2K
@realgirl_fieri People who say “it’s so simple!” must have never known a fat person. Really inspiring that you prioritize your health and wellness regardless ❤️.
42
10
1K
Unironically proud to be a freshly minted American!.Not everyone gets to choose their country, but I did and I chose the USA 🇺🇸 ❤️🇺🇸
100
20
1K
@CartoonsHateHer You should also take a poll of how many women who were in serious relationships in their early 20s and who would’ve said yes had the guy proposed are now happy they didn’t marry that guy in retrospect!.
8
6
523
I recently lost ~10lbs and was a bit sad no one mentioned it when I hosted a party. I guess my friends are just too body positive to compliment weight loss - I'm now officially convinced that this movement has gone too far.
37
10
508
A friend of mine once grew a full mustache with the aim of polarizing responses on dating apps. His thought was: better to be a 9 to 10% of women and a 5 to 90% than be a 7 to everyone. I’m not sure if it paid off, but I just love the idea of optimizing app usage by A/B testing.
10
3
243
I keep seeing people say that JD Vance is a misogynist but haven’t seen much to prove that. And my bar to believe that a guy with a super smart ambitious wife actually hates women and wants a servile female underclass is pretty high - am I just ignorant? If so please link!.
17
1
208
It’s great if women can find meaning in pregnancy, but that’s not a reason to be anti reproductive tech, including the more “out there” stuff like artificial wombs. More choice and less pain is better. Men can also find meaning in war, but that doesn’t mean peace is a bad thing!.
27
13
128
People say baking is about precision but then most recipes use round measurements like 1 cup, 1.5 cups etc. If you really needed to be so precise wouldn’t recipes have ended up with weirder measurements than that?.
12
3
90
The issue here is that 'dressing for men' or 'trying to be attractive to men' is seen as anti-feminist, something you ought to overcome. And so women feel like they have to pretend that they're walking around in cheeky shorts and a push up bra because it's liberating!!!! And.
Kind of? When I was single I definitely dressed to attract men but it felt like something that was obvious and yet taboo to admit. But also it’s really hard to decouple looking hot for society vs. looking hot for “yourself.”.
6
2
89
anyone else have those days where you desperately wish you could enter an alternate dimension and just read everything for like 2 decades before you ever have to give your opinion on anything again?.
7
5
63
You know, no one talks about how annoying depressed people can be.
7
1
55
Maybe one day, if I work really, really hard on my blog, I’ll have the honor of being included in such an article, referred to as “a problematic female blogger suffering from deep internalized misogyny”.
"Lighthaven was the venue for the Manifest 2024 conference, … billed guests included … Scott Alexander …; misogynistic George Mason University economist Robin Hanson; & Eliezer Yudkowsky …".I of course dispute that "misogynistic" label!
5
0
51
I can certainly believe that the inclusion rules for women’s boxing should be updated and that such an update might exclude athletes like Imane Khelif in the future, but this reaction doesn’t seem justified. She has competed in previous Olympics and the governing bodies of each.
In a highly emotional interview, Angela Carini has just explained that she abandoned because she had never been punched so hard. Imane Khelif said nothing. And this is the issue that the IOC’s Mark Adams suggested everyone should just ‘dial down’. An absolute scandal
7
6
50
@datepsych Right hand side could’ve hit 35% if it weren’t for those bathroom tiles (pose also not helping).
5
0
46
Every time Richard Hanania posts about dating and attraction another young man loses his chance to find true love.
3
0
44
@RichardHanania I once told my male friend that women who are wearing headphones are probably not interested in being hit on by random men since headphones signal that you’re trying to do your own thing. He just told me I was wrong. lol listen to tips from your female friends.
4
2
45
@wfenza yeah, I think it does make sense, particularly given the gender ratios on these apps! But it only works if you're confident that "mustache fetish" is not negatively correlated with other things you care about.
1
0
44
If we think of cultural hegemony as analogous to a lack of genetic diversity, then, as is a risk with asexual reproduction, we’re collectively more vulnerable to environmental change. Basically, if culture is a set of adaptive tools and everyone globally is using the same set, we.
6
7
39
The claim that power differentials “complicate” one’s ability to consent signals an implicit belief that in the case of sex, unlike in any other areas where consent is relevant, legitimate consent requires "true" desire. Desire, in this case, is treated as non-fungible with other.
5
3
38
I don’t get people who moralize taking ozempic as “the easy way out”. Like, yes! The whole point is to make it easier to attain the very difficult but often important goal of weight loss. Progress is about making it easier to achieve goals.
5
1
37
Stop telling women who want to have kids that they “have so much time!” . A decision about whether to freeze your eggs should be made based on when you expect to have your *last* baby, not when you expect to have your *first* baby. It’s often seen as a last ditch effort done.
2
1
37
@asymmetricinfo It’s sad because these people think they’re making thoughtful arguments when they’re actually just revealing themselves as hopelessly depressed. The contrast between how they think they’re perceived and how they actually are is painfully cringe.
1
0
33
People think having only one child is unfair cause they’ll be “lonely” as a kid, but the actual downside comes when you’re an adult and your parents have no other kids to focus on. One child simply cannot fulfill the desired amount of calling/checking in every week.
3
0
31
@RichardHanania How is it newsworthy that rich people can afford stuff that poor people can't? That's like, the point of being rich.
1
0
33
I'm a realist about sex differences, but I'm not here to provide cover for blatant misogynists as a "good feminist", a girl that "gets it". We are not allies, actually. My allies are interested in promoting and participating in positive sum relationships with the other sex.
3
2
32
@RuxandraTeslo Yes, obviously women learn from the men they're in relationships with too. My ex set up all my accounts and helped me learn a system for saving passwords, organizing travel docs etc. I used to constantly be locked out of my bank, or searching in a panic for my passport the day of.
2
0
28
@sentientist I actually think that position is consistent - parents chose to bring their children into the world and so owe things to them, children did not choose to be born and so do not owe things to their parents.
12
0
29
I just got a paper cut and I’m bleeding red, white and blue!? They didn’t tell us this would happen at the naturalization ceremony….
1
0
26
Every time I try to use chat gpt it’s a massive waste of time. Tried to get it to help me make a difficult chart type in excel (stacked clustered column) and it fails without even realizing it fails… what am I likely doing wrong because others seem to be getting a lot out of it?.
14
0
27
PSA: guys, we really need to stop using the term “loser”. It’s offensive and dehumanizing. Please consider more compassionate language such as “person who has lost”.
7
1
27
Sex differences are real but they are often not a helpful lens for analyzing cultural issues or individuals:. There is good evidence for slight to moderate sex differences on various personality traits, so it’s possible to construct what the “typical man” and “typical woman”.
2
3
25
Are there more marriageable women than men?. @kaschuta rightly points out that as more women have entered the workforce and increasingly outperform men in educational qualifications the pool of men who would be most attractive to them on paper - men with equal or greater career
7
3
26
Reality show idea: a group of red pilled men join a group of rad fems at a beach house. A prize of 250k will be split among the participants if they can vote unanimously on 5 claims, such as “are there biological sex differences”, “does the USA have a patriarchal culture” etc.
7
0
27
There is a lot wrong with student debt forgiveness. It fails to consider signaling theory, it creates bad incentives and it’s an unjust redistribution of resources. Signaling: some of this turns on the degree to which we believe that higher ed improves human capital vs. is.
3
3
26
As @robinhanson says in the latest @moral_mayhem episode: "It seems like. oh shit! Civilization has a fatal flaw. but what do we do? Do we go back?". We discuss Robin's theories around cultural drift, potential solutions, and why people don't seem to be concerned about it.
1
5
26
Has anyone else noticed the tendency some people have to assume that legibly successful people must have empty emotional lives? Like people will talk about “tech bros” or “finance bros” in a way that implies they’re not deep or moral without any burden to explain why they think.
6
1
26
Answering the question on everyone’s mind: How to get divorced by 30!. My *personal*(!) take on norms around early marriage, touching on “The Men Who Sabotage Women’s Fertility” by @CartoonsHateHer .
0
1
26
@Cluffalo This is exactly how I would expect her to look without makeup which is… very attractive?? Do these guys not have women in their families? Who they’ve seen get ready for an event? I really don’t get it.
2
0
24
@robinhanson I can’t read transcripts while I’m doing the dishes - podcasts are high quality in the category of multi-task appropriate entertainment.
0
0
23
I've written before about why I think economic fertility incentives are most cost effective if they only kick in at the third baby. Since almost everyone has one baby and most people have two, if incentives only kick in at the third baby, a higher % of the babies triggering those
6
5
24
My analysis of divorce data from the HCMST surveys - women with higher relative status (and therefore more options) were more likely to be the initiator of divorce. Couples where the woman makes more were *slightly* more likely to divorce during the survey period.
[Even today], both men and women still view the burden of supporting a family financially to be an important requirement for a good husband. @arntzgray1 .
1
7
23
Pre 2007: Catholic .2007-2010: Catholic but… must we be anti-gay?.2010-2013: Catholic but, but, but….2014: Christian .2015: theist.2016: “spiritual”.2017: atheist .2018: militant atheist.2019-2023: atheist.2024: atheist, but with a tiny bit of woo.
2015: Presbyterian.2016: Presbyterian.2017: Presbyterian.2018: Presbyterian .2019: Presbyterian.2020: Anglican / Nondenom.2021: Anglican / Nondenom.2022: Anglican / Nondenom.2023: Anglican.2024: Anglican.
5
0
25
Strange take. Staying thin in our modern food environment requires a massive amount of willpower in aggregate. The amount of willpower it requires varies significantly from person to person. For some people the amount of energy and attention needed to stay thin (without Ozempic).
Being fat your whole life and then becoming skinny when Ozempic comes out is a bad look. It shows that you actually wanted to be skinny and couldn't because of willpower. The cope of all these people supposedly being happy with themselves and their bodies is gone.
5
1
26
It's kind of amazing how some people can just keep grinding away at a job they hate, climbing the corporate ladder, without ever pausing to consider "what is a career actually *for* though".
5
1
23
In a recent minds almost meeting @robinhanson and @AgnesCallard talked about the benefits to being the assumed underdog vs the assumed powerful party (the “down” vs “up”). We give the powerful party agency and respect, but that also means they have to take responsibility for.
4
2
21
The ultimate sense of security which we hope to get through relationship with our long-term romantic partners is not to be found in reality. Relationships aren’t unconditional and people and circumstances change. Love is not safety. But that doesn’t mean that we should be.
1
1
20
What are people talking about, men and women eat similar amounts size adjusted. It’s just that men are ~20% bigger and maybe snack a bit less so eat a bit more at meals. If your bf is eating 300% as much as you either he’s an extreme endurance athlete or one of you is ill.
Growing up with all sisters this is the biggest culture shock any time I cook for men. How do they eat that much. Where does it even go
4
0
21
I expect childlessness rates will continue to rise but less so than others forecast, and that an increase in the number of single child families will be an equally large driver of lower total fertility for women in my age cohort. While childlessness rates among women in their.
3
1
19
I got too used to being comfy and cozy during covid and am only now realizing I miss the before times. This holiday season I’m making a commitment to get hammered with my friends at least once. And to wear at least one uncomfortable but fun outfit. Who’s with me?!?!.
1
0
20
Is theism having a big moment or is it just my corner of the internet that's constantly putting out arguments on the plausibility of god and various religions?.
7
0
18
Many female podcasters and the like have been expressing outrage over the low pay that the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders receive, which was discussed in the docuseries. I get that a billionaire sports team owner telling the camera that “it’s fine they make so little while being.
I feel like there is something broken about the way we understand what a contribution to society is. If you want to get paid for something, it needs to contribute to a thing that other people want and will pay for.
1
0
19
Saw several new grey hairs recently. I stepped back and thought, serenely, ah just a sign of my moving out of my maiden phase, gaining maturity, wisdom… but then I realized it was actually just a bit of clay mask that I hadn’t washed off and was super relieved 😌.
0
0
19
Disagree. There are three purposes for an engagement ring:.1 - signals seriousness and commitment from the man through willingness to sacrifice (must *be* expensive to accomplish this, although what expensive means is context dependent).2 - signals wealth (must *look* expensive.
Character test: do they insist on getting a mined diamond?. If yes, it means they're probably ruled by empty status seeking.
6
0
19
Around 3pm he’s finally ready to sit down at his laptop for work but then he has to run to BJJ class at 5 - life never slows down amirite! . Never date a guy who journals.
4
0
19
@amimevalepitito I don’t think abortion views are relevant to whether someone is a misogynist, particularly since there’s barely any difference between men and women’s support or lack thereof for abortion. As for childless women - his cat lady comment was a big mistake, and he apologized, but I.
3
0
19
@basedoaks510 @thechosenberg To be awarded alimony requires proof that you gave something up for the other persons career, not just that they make more money.
8
0
14
Exactly. You shouldn’t want people to be terrified to mock your religion. The fact that people mock it is a sign of your tolerance and peacefulness.
I’m so sick of this pathetic whininess. You, don’t like it, why don’t you go react like Muslims and then you’ll get the same treatment? You want the same for just complaining online. The Christian God either doesn’t care or is ashamed of being represented by such whiners.
3
0
18
@alexlizhill @ellegist Was about to comment this, she looks very pretty and actually more feminine (if anything) with the short cut!.
1
0
15
Started a new job in law enforcement!!
1
0
18
Killing people with kindness on Twitter really works. People go from “this is exactly why I hate modern wymyn!!!!” to “I didn’t mean to critique you personally, I just think we should be more nuanced with respect to talking about reproductive tech” in a single tweet.
2
1
17
A bit trite but I really do feel lucky that I graduated in 2014. I was pretty conformist in my college years but I was also relatively aggressive and my untamed 19 yr old brain could’ve very easily been caught up in the protest culture. Glad the social environment encouraged me.
2
0
18
I finally found an amazing work spot in New York - charging docs, never crowded, comfortable seats, large tables, clean bathrooms - and I’ll never ever ever tell the rest of you!.
4
0
18
I identify as a feminist but disagree with a purely social constructionist understanding of sex and gender - in other words, I think there is strong evidence that the observed average psychological differences by sex are not *purely* the result of socialization. Since the pure.
3
0
17
Planning my wedding I can just feel myself becoming more and more basic every day.
2
0
17
Curing cancer is not analogous to student loan forgiveness here it’s analogous to making higher education inexpensive (and not just subsidized but *actually* inexpensive). Paying off student loans is just a one time transfer to the relatively less responsible members of the upper.
Many years ago when I was a teenager, I found out that a particular Magic card was much cheaper in Europe than in the US. This seemed like an obvious business opportunity, so I found a European vendor who had a few hundred copies in stock, and started buying them to resell. The
2
0
16
Ideally you’re your romantic partner’s “type” - which is another way of saying they think you’re hotter than you are. And survey results suggest most people overrate their partner’s attractiveness. I’d expect this to be the case even without the evo bio explanation Macken offers,.
2
1
14
@RichardHanania Yes, you know how typical it is for women to lose custody of their children to their abuser… the courts really favor angry dads.
3
0
15
Fiancé bought me a gratitude journal - should I call off the wedding?.
3
0
15
The monoculture is not random - as @robinhanson notes it's the result of intense selection pressures. But once cultures have merged to a substantial degree, the selection process will only continue if subcultures can experiment and if the central culture is eager to adopt new
2
1
16
@CartoonsHateHer Hm well, we all have our biases but I was married at 24 and divorced by 30 so I tend to be for a little more time to develop before making binding commitments. That said, divorce without kids is really not a huge deal.
1
0
16
After almost two weeks in the Bay Area I think I’m almost ready to become a California girly - sunshine, space, avocado toast and good coffee - only downside is having to drive.
2
0
15
I’ve noticed a lot of women over 30 who are like “I’m hotter than ever and getting hotter every year”. First, I can assure you that is either not the case or if it is the case, it won’t be for much longer, but more importantly the appropriate response to “the wall” discourse is.
0
0
14
I've seen this repeated elsewhere and want to clarify that the "women initiate 70% of divorces" stat comes from survey data from How Couples Meet and Stay Together. It may be true of filing data as well, but this is what couples self report. Using the extended data set through.
4
1
14
It might seem tempting to respond to unfair criticism with rage, but I promise it's way more fun to wear them down by tirelessly replying in a painfully civil and reasonable manner until they're just too embarrassed by their obviously unnecessary incivility to go on any longer.
2
0
15
I dressed in red white and blue yesterday and was self conscious about how republican-coded I looked. SAD.
2
0
15
This sort of caution is why I’m uncomfortable encouraging women to have kids very early. It can work, but putting aside the extreme of abuse, it’s quite hard to select a partner! And it’s not uncommon to be ready to commit before you’re capable of doing a good job at selection.
i wanna see like 'hell yeah! Become a mom! but make absolutely sure you get a guy who's not going to transform and abuse you later on, and here's how to tell in advance. Also here's how to make sure you have skills and money to survive if he leaves you or dies. Here's how to.
1
0
15
Currently hosting a meetup which is ostensibly focused on how we determine the boundaries of legal consent, but people won’t stop arguing about Israel - it’s been 90 minutes - any tips?.
2
0
14
@CartoonsHateHer Men are so sensitive and over emotional these days. Must be the birth control hormones in the water supply.
1
0
13
This whole bathroom issue really comes down to what the norms should be for non passing trans women in shared women’s spaces. And that question comes down to how you view the tradeoff between mild discomfort for some percentage of cis women and major discomfort (or worse) for.
3
0
14
All the coastal elite women moving to Denver right now to find the love of an outdoorsy lib with a cute dog.
colorado is so amazing, just libbing out in the mountains, completely unconerned with national political shifts.
0
0
14
Sorry, can't go out tonight. I've gotta stay in to read another book of first-wave feminist philosophy before I can respond to an essay a 21 year old guy wrote in 2 hours.
3
0
14
People sometimes complain that one income can no longer support a family, but survey data indicates that combined hours/week spent on housework, childcare and paid work has barely risen since the 60s (chart ends in 2014 but 2022 data was similar at 55.5 hrs/week for fathers and
2
3
13
Sure, some tiny fringe of extremely rich women glamorize divorce but this is hardly the norm and the optimal rate of divorce is not 0. Things change, people make mistakes and if you very strongly expect that leaving will allow you to engage in more productive or more fulfilling.
2
0
14
Liking London so far. The sidewalks are clean and spacious, people seem friendly, the men dress a bit better than at home and the air is filled with diffuse vape juice so I’ve got a mild, second hand nicotine high.
4
0
12
What is the optimal rate of lying and how would we tell if we were beyond it?. I was discussing Sam Harris's book Lying at a recent Interintellect event and wondered how Sam, or anyone who counsels people to display more honesty, tell less white lies etc. knows that we're beyond.
6
0
13
Someone needs to make a guide for how to act when people are fixing stuff in your apartment. I never know whether I'm being rude. Should I leave them to it, or is that not acknowledging their work? Should I make conversation? Or is that just annoying and distracting?.
1
0
14