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Laurie Kilmartin Profile
Laurie Kilmartin

@anylaurie16

Followers
99K
Following
145K
Media
4K
Statuses
91K

Standup / comedy writer / Book “Dead People Suck” / Hulu “Cis Woke Grief Sl*t"

USA
Joined November 2007
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
12 minutes
He lost his company 77 billion and he’s not gonna be fired.
@JoshKraushaar
Josh Kraushaar
4 hours
Mark Zuckerberg is all but conceding that the metaverse is a big bust. WSJ: “Meta Plans to Shift Spending Away From the Metaverse— Mark Zuckerberg’s bet on immersive online worlds has lost the company more than $77 billion”
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@HollywoodImprov
Hollywood Improv
10 hours
Raising a boy. @anylaurie16 See Laurie tonight at 7:30pm in The Lab with @davewaitecomedy @Biancacristovao Jared Goldstein +more! Get tickets at https://t.co/2zDeuaxUJc #hollywoodimprov #comedy
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@CRankinit69
Crankin 🦝
1 day
are they slowly releasing young charismatic handsome democratic socialist leaning politicians into the wild from some kind of lab
@BlomquistForMI
Kyle Blomquist for U.S. Congress
3 days
I'm running to ensure your basic necessities, guarantee a dignified existence, curb political corruption, end U.S.-backed human rights abuse & genocide. Give us a follow, repost, check out our website, volunteer, and donate if you can!
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
23 hours
I bought some fruit that I can only describe as Soviet.
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@fancojapan
FANCO
5 months
NEW OFFICIAL COLLABORATION ALERT! Get your PERSONALIZED @Godzilla_Toho Japanese hanko stamps at https://t.co/IOndflBmmQ for yourself, friends and family! 👉 https://t.co/GNF3HeIYdD
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
1 day
ok, who's looking better right now, primary-wise. Kelly or Newsom? I can see ppl needing a serious presence for foreign policy as Hegseth gets worse and Kelly provides it. Newsom is a fun brat but not sure that will work in the end.
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@HubPointless
PointlessHub
2 days
Tarantino when the Paul Dano ain’t a girl’s foot
@CultureCrave
Culture Crave 🍿
2 days
Quentin Tarantino says 'There Will Be Blood' would've had a chance to be his greatest film of the 21st century if it didn't have Paul Dano in it "it’s supposed to be a two-hander, but ... [Dano] is weak sauce, man ... He’s just such a weak, weak, uninteresting guy. The weakest
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
1 day
this is such a good piece by @wkamaubell on which comedians the comedy media favors.
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
2 days
Imagine being the prosecutors who put these complicated cases together and WON, only to have them erased.
@jennycohn1
JennyCohn ✍🏻 📢
2 days
Trump has pardoned: 1. A former Honduran president convicted of drug trafficking 2. Ross Ulbricht who operated the dark web marketplace where illegal drugs were sold 3. The Binance founder who failed to stop criminals from using Binance to move money tied to drug trafficking. 1/
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
2 days
Six year old, alone in ICE detention
@ZohranKMamdani
Zohran Kwame Mamdani
2 days
Last week, ICE arrested and separated a father and son after a routine check-in. Six-year-old Yuanxin had just enrolled in the first grade at an elementary school in Astoria. Now he's in custody, alone. ICE won't say where. This cruelty serves no one. It must end.
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
2 days
is this the only time Michael Burry went outside? Every pic is from whatever this event was.
@business
Bloomberg
3 days
Michael Burry has bet against the shares of Tesla, saying they are “ridiculously overvalued”
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@DamanMills
Daman Mills
3 days
I want to thank Amazon for removing their English AI dub of #BANANAFISH. That being said, myself and many others believe that every other language should be given the same respect. The same goes for every other piece of media that has been dubbed with AI for your platform. I
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@Julia_SCI
Julia Wilde
2 days
How theater saved cancer patients. And why STEM must never ignore the arts and humanities.
@SebastianEPayne
Sebastian Payne
3 days
Incredible letter in @thetimes
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@krystalball
Krystal Ball
3 days
This may be the worst opposition party in history. Please hand the reins over to @ChrisVanHollen and @RoKhanna who have demonstrated an understanding of the moment and how to fight.
@PollTracker2024
Politics & Poll Tracker 📡
3 days
Axios: Hekeem Jeffries says doesn’t expect House Dems to pursue Pete Hegseth impeachment https://t.co/PUaRoeGVf1
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@kylietcheung
Kylie Cheung
3 days
What's the point of the Democratic Party
@PollTracker2024
Politics & Poll Tracker 📡
3 days
Axios: Hekeem Jeffries says doesn’t expect House Dems to pursue Pete Hegseth impeachment https://t.co/PUaRoeGVf1
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@moetkacik
moe tkacik
3 days
Chris Van Hollen does not get enough credit for having a stroke 2 days after Fetterman's, but which turned him against pointless death
@ChrisVanHollen
Senator Chris Van Hollen
3 days
We must stop tinkering around the edges of a broken healthcare system. Yes, let's extend the ACA tax credits to prevent a huge spike in healthcare costs for millions. Then, let's finally create a system that puts your health over corporate profits. We need Medicare for All.
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
3 days
wow, she's really going for it
@AccountableGOP
Republican Accountability
3 days
Megyn Kelly on alleged war crimes: "I really do kind of not only wanna see them killed in the water, whether they're on the boat or in the water, but I'd really like to see them suffer. I would like Trump and Hegseth to make it last a long time so they lose a limb and bleed out."
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@feraljokes
Jake Flores 🇵🇸🇲🇽
3 days
I am a very dumb guy and I understand what's happening with regard to the mayor of new York city so I am going to explain it so other dumb people can understand too:
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@MySaltyFitness
Jonathon Strefling, DPT 🪓
2 days
"Whoa, easy on the food & exercise talk, bro. We have to be sure we're ordering the things we love, properly." Christianese translation: "I have created a virtuous-sounding excuse to neglect a Christian duty. Plus, I really, really love my hot dog buns." ➡️Christian men, it is
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
3 days
I have something called "initials loyalty." I don't know who Lane Kiffen is but I always take an LK's side.
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@anylaurie16
Laurie Kilmartin
5 days
Every face in this pic!
@Rainmaker1973
Massimo
6 days
Big Bertha, the cow that drank whiskey, lived until she was 48, broke two Guinness world records and raised £60,000 for cancer research. Big Bertha was born in County Kerry, Ireland on St. Patrick’s Day 1945 and lived until 1993, which is exceptionally old for a cow.
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@TheVinoMom
Tiffany Cianci
6 days
Literally everything is a scam. Thanks to private equity, and the closure of Joann’s, Michael’s has a monopoly. Almost every store has some kind of monopoly and they can screw you over and don’t have to earn your business. Shop small. Small businesses want to earn your business.
@WallStreetApes
Wall Street Apes
6 days
This woman is an avid Michales shopper, she builds Christmas villages so she’s always buying craft supplies She shows, with proof, on Black Friday Michaels doubled the price of items and called it a Black Friday Sale They then removed all the scanners form the store so you
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