Alana Johnston
@alana_johnston
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4,488
Following
347
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464
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3,706
Comedian • Everyone’s everything • Rep: Claire Jennings at Fourth Wall Management
Los Angeles, CA
Joined January 2012
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After years of battling cancer, my niece Zoah passed away. Thank you for all your love and support over the years for the bravest girl in the world.
Here’s my favorite video of her talking about
@normsousa
after she met him for the first time 💗
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🔪THE KNIFE IS BACK🔪
‼️Breaking Chews! We’ll be joined by special guest
@alana_johnston
for a review of Pink’s Hot Dogs at our live show this Sunday at the Hollywood Improv!
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I’ve been in Saskatoon for less than 24 hrs and already need a break from
@doughboyspod
🔪🇨🇦🔪🇨🇦🔪🇨🇦🔪🇨🇦
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Return of the 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
Tomorrow on the Double... (featuring
@Gabrus
,
@alana_johnston
,
@allanmcleod
,
@LILmookieB
,
@EvanSusser
,
@paulrust
,
@YusongL
,
@emmaatree
, Wolly, and Irma)
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My 7 yr old niece Zoah has been battling cancer for the last 3 years. Her only dream is to go to DisneyLand. Anything helps! Please RT if you can to make her dream come true!
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My sister is in town visiting and I need to prove I’m an Internet sensation pls like I need this.
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Turns out 50 of my cousins in Venezuela got COVID from going to a party where one person had it and infected them all. So the lesson here is DON’T HANG OUT WITH MY COUSINS THEY ARE VERY DUMB.
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An embarrassment of riches to have such a variety of ink.
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I miss taking a fat dump in a public restroom then giving a wink to the other ladies in there like “us gals gotta stick together”
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The movie Varsity Blues holds up in terms of these jeans 👖
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Just got back from the salon and shops with the gals.
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Mitch is IN. Wiger now has 24 hrs to respond or else I take over his spot as co host of
@doughboyspod
. 🔪 is in your court, Wiger.
@alana_johnston
@doughboyspod
Wow! Your first Knifing was caught on camera?!
Also. I’m in. If it doesn’t happen, knife Wigers ass.
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Still have no clue what
@BugConOfficial
is.
wow, I’m with fellow BugCon panelists Mike Mitchell and Alana Johnston at BugCon 2021. Also, I won a signed copy of the script for ‘Cherry’?
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Did i cut all my hair off with ✂️ or a 🔪? Either way I look sharp.
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What a way to find out I have a son.
Drake just posted some photos with his son, and look at all that hair ❤️😍
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RETURN OF THE KNIFE!!!!!
🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
New Doughboys Thursday! Alana Johnston returns to the show for a live review of an LA staple, Pink’s Hot Dogs:
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It’s gonna be a blood bath 🔪
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Return of the 🔪🔪🔪🔪
New Doughboys Thursday! Alana “The Knife” Johnston joins us live in Saskatoon to review a chain specializing in a quintessential Canadian dish, Smoke’s Poutinerie:
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She would have been 8yrs old today. Happy birthday Zoah, we love you and miss you so much💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
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I’ve met my match 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
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Might as well use this as my mugshot cause a passport photo this good is a CRIME.
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@BDayBoysMitch
basically proposes to me and I said YES🔪
Doughboys Double Tuesday! Alana Johnston (Self Esteem Party) joins the 'boys to discuss New Year's predictions, Saskatoon and Harvey's before a deep dive into snow storms, snow cones and snow day eats.
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Everyone gets 🔪’d.
Tomorrow, Love Week continues… with Alana Johnston 🔪 and Norm Sousa
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I’m great in this check it out 🔪
Today on CBB Presents - The writer of the original Monster Mash, Leo Karpatze (
@nickwiger
), unearths his never-aired 1977 dating game show pilot! It’s MONSTER MATCH ‘77!
Exclusively at . - sign up for a year and get two months free!
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Thank you to everyone who believed in me! This is my first attempt.
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One year ago today we lost my niece Zoah. I think about her everyday and miss her more than I could have ever imagined. Here she is singing happy birthday to me 💗
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If he has time to eat an apple, he has time to take me to Sonic 🔪
#WigerConfirm
Snack or Wack: Arkansas black apple. We’ll be talkin’ FRITOS for this week’s Snack Pack so tune in tomorrow and all Thursdays at 8:30pm ET on Spotify Live. Follow
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@BDayBoysMitch
now that you are a movie star we can finally be together!!! 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
Here’s a clip of
@MaryLynnRajskub
and myself in action! Watch
@TheTomorrowWar
now on
@PrimeVideo
!!!
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Shit all my exes are here to win me back what a nightmare!
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@nickwiger
@DeliBoysPod
UPDATE: I’ve been added to the thread and let’s just say it’s a SNOOZE. Nick had a few things to say, minimal chat at best, but when I knifed the DeliBoys for not having me on their podcast they were radio silent. More to come....
#knifeTheDeli
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Accidentally took this pic of me looking absolutely gorgeous FML
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After spending an entire day at
#BugCon2021
I finally understand what it is… my everything. See you all at the next
@BugConOfficial
!
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Thank you
@TheMaeMartin
for having me and my denim outfit on your
@LargoLosAngeles
show last night! I AM THRIVING!
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How embarrassing for the bride and groom that they’re facing the wrong way.
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My Tete (grandmother) passed away this morning. She was a true legend. Here she is wishing me a happy birthday one day in advance like she did every year. I miss her so much already 💗
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Now that Biden is in office we can all relax and celebrate my new glasses.
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Taking a break from social media. See you in 15 minutes.
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Spoiler Alert: I knife the hell out of these fools! 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
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I can’t believe they cut my line from
#AvengersEndame
. “We did it guys. We avenged everyone.”
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We should have replaced the Twitter blue bird logo with this:
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One year ago today I married
@normsousa
and now we’re in a pandemic so I’d say things are going according to plan ❤️
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It’s the return of the 🔪 in the 9pm slot and I’m COMING IN SHARP!
The 25 Hour Doughathon begins TONIGHT at 8:00 PM EDT!
We’re raising money for the RWCF to help support restaurant workers and their families.
Follow us on Twitch so you don’t miss a minute!
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Omg he’s obsessed! 🔪🔪🔪
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I started a podcast 🔪
The Self Esteem Party podcast is live! We put out the first 3 (Holly Prazoff, John Milhiser, Lamar Woods) all at once! Head over to Apple podcasts to Listen - Rate - Review - Subscribe. Let’s get into it!
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🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
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Cannot believe they look a photo of me looking THIS UPSET. Thanks
@TheMaeMartin
and
@LargoLosAngeles
for having me!
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Now that the strike is over I can officially share this gorgeous photo of me unrelated to
@sagaftra
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Just got 🔪’d by a baby that looked at me and threw up.
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Am I too much or are you just too little? Huge replies only.
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