Dark Brandon
@VoteDarkBrandon
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Lover of ice cream, hater of malarkey 🥁
The White House
Joined August 2022
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Pinned Tweet
Folks, if you want to unfollow me because of my politics, go for it.
I'm Dark Brandon. I’m a pro-worker, pro-family, and pro-democracy.
This account is dedicated to highlighting
@POTUS
’s accomplishments and calling out MAGA malarkey.
It's time to finish the f*cking job.
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Folks — I’m bringing the motherf**kin’ pandas back.
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Chinese President Xi Jinping signaled that China will send new pandas to the United States, calling them “envoys of friendship between the Chinese and American peoples.” 🐼🐼🐼
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Folks, as my friend
@springsteen
said, we take care of our own.
That’s why I’m running: to finish the job and deliver on my promises to each and every one of you.
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And then he said “I’m gonna launch my campaign on Twitter Spaces with Elon!”
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Make no mistake, folks. Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee.
And in November, I'm going to beat that clown like a drum.
Again.
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Folks, it’s a good thing California is soft on crime.
@GavinNewsom
killed a man on prime time TV tonight.
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They said "Let's go Brandon"
So I decided to have the most effective first term of any President in modern history.
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Folks I don’t wear these aviators to protect my eyes from the sun…
I wear them to protect the sun from me.
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Folks — I love the smell of malarkey burning.
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That’s a nifty announcement you got there Jack — would be a shame if Dark Brandon struck again…
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Folks, apropos of nothing, I wanted to reiterate that I am unwaveringly pro-dog.
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Karma is my tight end.
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I'm Dark Brandon.
I'm highlighting
@POTUS
's accomplishments and calling out Republican malarkey.
Will you RT & follow to help me get to 25k?
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Folks, I like Presidents who weren't fined $364,000,000 for business fraud.
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Keep my son’s name out of your goddamn mouth f**kface.
Your father is a traitor, and in November I’m gonna beat that sick f**k like a drum… again 🥁
If you actually believe that the State of the Union is strong and getting stronger under Joe Biden, then you're probably spending too much time smoking crack with Hunter Biden!
#SOTU2024
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I'm Dark Brandon.
I'm highlighting
@POTUS
's accomplishments and calling out Republican malarkey.
Will you RT & follow to help me get to 1k?
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Folks — the devil went down to Georgia, he was lookin’ for an election to steal.
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I came here to eat ice cream and end malarkey.
And I'm all out of ice cream.
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Joe-bi Wan… Now, that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time…
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Folks — I got the keys to the main account back.
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Ultra-MAGA told me I could not withstand the storm.
I replied, “I am the storm.”
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I said what I said.
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Folks — we’re gonna win this thing.
I'm not a young guy. That's no secret. But, here's the deal: I understand how to get things done for the American people.
Here’s the first ad of our spring media campaign.
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Cry harder, Jack.
Fox News is currently melting down because President Biden is embracing Dark Brandon: It’s not funny!
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Don’t make me take it away again.
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Zero malarkey on that stage 😎
Caught up with
@BarackObama
,
@BillClinton
, and
@StephenAtHome
last night. I’ve gotta say: I like their style.
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Folks, Dank Brandon is about to puff puff pass some serious legislation.
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“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
- Winston Churchill
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Last chance to wish me happy birthday, Jack.
I won’t ask again.
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Donald Trump is a sick f*ck.
And I’m going to beat him like a drum in November.
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Good morning. 4 years ago today, Donald Trump told us all to go drink bleach to cure Covid.
Folks, we cannot allow this chucklef**k back in the Oval Office.
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Folks I am serious. Stop putting more air in the bags of chips.
I will destroy you robber barons I am not f**king around.
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I'm Dark Brandon.
I'm highlighting
@POTUS
’s accomplishments and calling out MAGA malarkey.
Will you RT & follow to help us get to 65k?
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Cut the malarkey, Nate.
I’d say stick to polling, but you suck at that too.
You're supposed to be the candidate who stands up for norms and traditions and now you're ducking this tradition?
"The President will not be participating in the Commission of Presidential Debates' announced debates."
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Folks — I’m no pundit, but let the results so far tonight be a warning:
Don’t underestimate a Biden.
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Folks — I’m not playing around 😎
.
@sethmeyers
: "Do you enjoy playing around with the Dark Brandon meme?"
@POTUS
: "No, I resent the hell out of it." [Puts on aviators and grins]
Audience: 👏👏👏
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I am sorry Jack… sorry that you had to take this massive L tonight
Tonight, what we should hear from President Biden is an apology for high inflation and open borders. Instead, we can expect more of the same gaslighting we’ve been subjected to for three years.
Thankfully, we have
@KatieBrittforAL
stepping up to correct the record during the
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Folks, this is a big f—kin’ deal:
‘Reaganomics’ delivered tax cuts for the rich, and that trickle-down malarkey nearly destroyed our economy.
‘Bidenomics’ is delivering for working people, and it’s why we’ve created more jobs than any President since FDR.
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Always knew I liked this guy…
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Not a joke.
The Kentucky governor's race has predicted the winner of the next presidential election in the last five presidential cycles.
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Folks, I’m proud to announce that I will be borrowing a dragon from the Targaryens.
This dragon, named "General Fluffy", will be used for the sole purpose of eliminating malarkey.
#HouseoftheDragon
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Folks — this is Bidenomics. We’re bringing back American jobs, including as Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.
Talk about being at the right place at the right time! Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce leaving Arrowhead together after the game.
#Bears
#ChiefsKingdom
#NFL
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He’s right. Buy the f**kin’ mug Jack, I won’t ask twice.
I’ll ask you nicely to buy this new, color-changing campaign mug.
But I know someone who won’t:
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Republicans f*cked around and made every election tonight about me.
Folks, they just found out what you already knew: Biden wins.
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Folks – Truth Social stock is dead and the American economy is alive.
Breaking news: The US is on track to grow at double the rate of any other G7 country this year, according to IMF forecasts.
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Folks, thinking of adding this to Mt. Rushmore.
What do you think?
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Folks, we won the Senate. That’s a big fuckin’ deal.
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Look folks, if Democrats win these midterms we are going to ban assault weapons.
If Republicans win — they are going to ban books in your children’s schools.
That is a level of malarkey I simply cannot tolerate.
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Folks, this is what it’s all about. I’ll never regret saving American lives, the pundits can take a hike.
Here are the seven Americans on their way home from Iran alongside a world class group of American diplomats. Welcome home. 🇺🇸
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"Donald Trump is a scab. Donald Trump is a billionaire, and that's who he represents."
-
@UAW
President Shawn Fain
And that's just a fact, Jack.
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“Joe Biden just delivered one of the best State of the Union speeches in history. Here's why that's bad news for Democrats.”
—
@nytimes
tomorrow, probably
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Donald — you feeling lucky, punk?
Donald Trump lost two debates to me in 2020. Since then, he hasn’t shown up for a debate.
Now he’s acting like he wants to debate me again.
Well, make my day, pal.
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Folks — the boys are back in town.
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He’s not wrong, folks.
What a clownshow.
GOP Rep. Roy: I want my Republican colleagues to give me one thing that I can go campaign on and say we did. One! Come and explain to me one meaningful, significant thing the Republican majority has done
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Boy folks, my basement sure is big!
JBA —> Reno —> Las Vegas —> Phoenix —> Dallas —> Houston —> JBA
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Look folks — you can’t love your country only when you win.
Insurrectionists aren’t “patriots.”
They’re traitors. Plain and simple.
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Folks, that smell in the air ain’t Cherry Blossom season…
It’s *Joementum*
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Let's be really clear here, Jack.
F*ck Putin.
I'll stand with our allies every damn time.
Trump says he would encourage Russia to attack NATO allies: I said I would not protect our NATO allies. In fact, I would encourage Russia to do whatever the hell they want
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Debate verdict: Complete malarkey.
I’m going to beat these folks like a drum next year.
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All fucks have been given, folks.
Malarkey is over, Dark Brandon is here.
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Republicans underestimate the power of women.
Well folks… they’re about to find out.
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Not bad for your first try, Jack.
Could teach ya a thing or two.
DeSantis flipped burgers for a minute for the benefit of the press.
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Folks — f**k this guy.
Trump’s speech completely derails as his teleprompter malfunctions, causing him to go on an unintelligible rant about the word “folks”
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This guy really can’t take a hint, can he?
NEW: Cesar Chavez's family to endorse Biden after RFK Jr. claims civil rights leader would've voted for him
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It’s been a rough week for Sleepy Don.
But asleep or awake — I’m his worst nightmare.
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Dread it.
Run from it.
Dark Brandon arrives all the same.
Spotted outside the Republican debate tonight: 1,000 Dark Brandon signs
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Did Herschel Walker just flash his Fisher-Price police badge???
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Somebody tell this sick f**k I have the receipts.
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