Barroom Hero 🦬
@UnIxphysco
Followers
13K
Following
235K
Media
489
Statuses
121K
Luxury Comedy and Madness
☕ shop on the edge of a 🌋
Joined July 2011
My heart hurts. Your heart hurts. They should hurt together
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Terry Pegula is a fraud and ruined my favorite team. Destroyed hockey in one of the best hockey markets in the world. A total failure.
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Just so you know, you can go through absolute hell and still choose to have a beautiful heart and kind soul.
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Hair straightener died halfway through doing my pubes, today is ruined
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If you are forced to give 40-60% of all of your money to the government just to stay out of prison, how are you 'free'?
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I started making my coffee at home, and in just 2 years, I saved over a million dollars
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Who needs to say good morning when you just can send a picture of your pussy 💁🏻♀️
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It’s hard to have a crush on someone who only tweets a few times a day
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I wish Netflix would tell me how tired I'm gonna be the next day
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Thinking about quitting my job and becoming a train riding hobo
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Imagine putting your political affiliation in your bio because it’s your entire identity.
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Sometimes I forget that I’m 40, but then I do full burpees at the gym and I remember.
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Im not the most unattractive man alive, until I take a picture and discover that yes, I am
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