Whoever named it Semen instead of Diquid really shit the bed on that one.

get so close our dreams connect

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower taste like ribs...

Some mornings I miss cassette tapes and putting 5 bucks in the tank.

🎵I'm never gonna dance again Guilty feet have got no rhythm Though it's easy to pretend I know you're not a fool🎵

Like for a shirtless picture of me. Retweet for the keys to a 1985 Ford Aerostar.

And now we return to our regularly scheduled colossal fuck up already in progress

first date idea: you kill me

Good morning to you specifically

I fuck with energy I don’t have to question.

If we hang out and I didn’t laugh I’m never hanging out with you again

If you think I’m sexy now, wait until you see me using my neti pot

So, the support group for Recently Widowed just called to say they can't accept my box of beans, soup, and spaghetti and now I'm embarrassed bc if they got THAT, then that means the Food Bank has the Dildos

My nostalgia is for things that never happened.

Not arguing with a guy that has embroidery on his jeans, like whatever you say slugger

one quaalude and a couple shots please and thank you

perplexing is as perplexing does

the sun gives us life the moon gives us balance

what ever do the birds even be talking about

This account will always remain Organic bop bop

Stop using AI you fucking morons