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@JPLFR80
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Last Seen Profiles
Zara's cancer spread. She's now living her last days. It's a sad moment at the sanctuary today
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The UPS person who always found Wile E. Coyote in the middle of the desert for same day deliveries is the real hero.
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I buried today the most joyful creature that ever lived. Her name was Donza. She made the best out of every situation. We all relied on her good nature. Never once in 12 years did she ever act unkind or aggressively. I will strive to honor her example. And miss her forever
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Women who take off their bras without taking off their tops first are witches and should be revered for their command of ancient magics
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I follow people whose tweets I wanna read. I thought that's what everyone was doing.
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And so passes the mighty Claudia, on the eve of her 15th name day. She who was the slayer of serpents, the champion of the sanctuary, the last daughter of Catarina, the last of the wonder pack and the queen of the giants. She lived well. She fought bravely. And now she rests.
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I'm almost 40, so I get to give advice to the next generation:
- Don't go to college.
- Learn a trade on the job.
- Read a lot of books.
- Challenge new information
- Be open to the possibility that you're wrong
- Learn body language
- Plan ahead, but enjoy the moment
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Wanna feel smart? I just texted my sister a picture of her phone she left here
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Hi, I'm 41 and I still pretend my car is a spaceship. Get in or shut up.
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I'm 40. They're not trust issues. They're life experience and common sense.
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Girls with tattoos, passion for books and a great sense of humor, thank you
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An ex got divorced and reached out. Said I'm the one who got away. She dumped me. After cheating. Twice.
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What if you finally fall in love and they put ketchup on their pizza?
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Had a disappointing, frustrating day. But at least I'm also broke and out of shape.
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A dating app that matches people who want to binge the same shows together and cuddle.
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When I was 8 I was terrified of recess. I looked different and I had an accent. Kids can be cruel. I hid under the stairs until I was 10. Then Melanie found me. She thought I was funny. She made the cruelty stop. She was my first friend. Kindness saved me. Be like Melanie.
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Nina, the eternal puppy, passed away just now. She was almost 13 years old. Her cheerful nature is deeply missed but knowing she's making somewhere else a brighter place fills me with hope
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I dare you to pay a sincere compliment to someone you have nothing to gain from.
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His name was Spartacus. He was brave and noble. Fearless and jovial. We had great adventures and comfortable silences for 13 years. Today he passed on. The pack is hollow without it's spirit, but his memory will forever build us up.
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There's a lady at the hospital waiting room without a phone. She's just quietly looking into the distance. How is that even possible?
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Kids today will never know what it was like to call your crush in the 90s on their landline and having to speak to their parents first
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Got kicked out of the strip club because they're very strict about who gets to strip
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It's my 43rd birthday! I'd love to see your face. And hear about something you love, please
Rt this to show the algorithm who's boss
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My uncle has passed away this morning from covid 19. My aunt and cousin are also infected. The boy is in the spectrum and is really struggling.
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One day we'll look back at 2020 and say: holy shit, it's still 2020
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@KaylaChowShow
I can't run for 3 minutes. I'll die! what do I get for walking fast for like, 5 minutes?
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Friend: that woman at the bar just smiled at you.
Me: it's probably a bot
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On today's thirst trap thread, post a picture that made you feel good about yourself. Mine is from my 40th birthday. It was a happy day.
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There was a tiny bit of metal underneath the wood chip in my eye. The doctor folk scraped it out with a needle. Alls well now.
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Venus passed away tonight. Someone left her at my door the day after I move in here, 12 years ag, and she smiled at me every day since. Showing affection by violently scratching me. I'll miss those scars on my legs. They hurt way less than your absence ever will
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Today at the sanctuary, we say goodbye to Stevie Tibers, last of the Stevie Nicks crew, the most lovable grumpy grandma we ever had the privilege of caring for. There won't be kids on your lawn ever again. May the love you inspired propel you safely toward whatever comes next.
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I'm just a guy, standing in front of a girl, hoping she'll lower her standards enough to like me.
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Too many catfish out there. Verify your identity by posting yourself holding a spoon. I'll go first
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I get hate messages every day. People tell me I'm not funny, not attractive and that the attention I get is achieved through trickery. I'm sorry to say that it does get to me. I'm still not gonna fight anyone and just use this outlet as I need to. Some days are just rough.
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As an elder milenial, it is my duty to quote Airplane at least once a week. And don't call me Shirley.
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Top 5 favorite scents:
1. Bread in the oven
2. Rain on grass
3. Puppy
4. Baby
5. Shampoo
What are yours?
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Thirst trap thread, evening wear edition. Drop your sexy self. Because we deserve to look our best.
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You can't tell me what to do. You're not a hot woman in her late 40s.
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What if tits got 3 times bigger when women got aroused, huh? Not so funny causing work boners now, is it KAREN?!
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Crystal has a tumor in her mouth. These are her last days on this plane of existence. Please take a moment to wish her peace and a quick journey.
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Thirst trap thread. Drop your sexy self. Invite a sexy friend. Make someone feel hot.
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Ever hear a song you used to love and realize it's really, really stupid?
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I'm 41 today! Your face is the gift I want. Smiling, serious, singing, silent, kissing, stoic... however you want. Make my day!
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Wanna skip all this awkward first steps and be best friends and go on adventures?
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My dog asked me to tell you "woof woof". She said you'd know what that means.
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This is 57! I was born 42 years ago but I identity as 57 today. Your smile is the gift I want. Share your joy with me!
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I'll rub your feet while you drink wine and talk about that bitch at work IDGAF
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In Hell, someone who follows you will reply to everything you retweet with a completely unrelated GIF.
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Maxwell says hi. Say it back or else the curse of the early aughts email chains will find you and wreak havoc
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Thirst trap thread. Drop your sexy self. For the night is long and full of terrors, but we have each other.
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You should tell people the good things you think about them. They may not know and really need it.
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