Tabatha Southey
@TabathaSouthey
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"Ink stained wretch" She/her : @macleans @WalrusMagazine @globeandmail @nationalpost @ElleCanada Book: @TabathaSouthey .bsky.social
Toronto
Joined May 2009
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Pinned Tweet
In honor of Christopher Hitchens, I will spend the day not being funny.
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Remember that time LGBTQ people got together and plunged America into bloody civil war so they could own straight people as property?
Fox guest says LGBT rainbow flag is just as offensive as Confederate flag: They ‘represent the exact same thing’
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To be fair, many in Canada pronounce "Tucker" with an "f."
I have never heard anyone mispronounce "Ottawa" the way
@TuckerCarlson
does here. Very odd.
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It is sobering statistic that 7 out of 10 Americans will serve as Donald Trump’s White House Communications Director.
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BREAKING: If you flip a photo of bats hanging upside down, they look like they're having a wicked dance-off.
http://t.co/qjuszMhP6V
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It's the weirdest thing to watch fascism hatch in real time.
"We are taking school funds away from these crazy schools that are teaching horrible things. Bad things, actually. We will teach our children the truth about America: That we are the most exceptional nation on the face of the Earth & we are getting better every single day"- Trump
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Once I babysat & when the couple returned, the man said “What do you charge?” I said $1 an hour & he said “I’m a union man, I don’t believe anyone’s time is worth less than $10 an hour” & they didn’t get a sitter often. I think about that guy a lot re. wages, decency, principles.
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Guys, they're not "rolling into" Ottawa. They drove there, on roads people drive on and that doesn't oblige you to mythologize this thing to their liking. This is not Furiosa and Mad Max storming the Citadel. It's more National Lampoon's White Nationalist Vacation.
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BREAKING: Ontario voters send Doug Ford back to the cottage for four more years.
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When you hire a woman.
Justice Ginsburg 'up and working' after breaking ribs, nephew says
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The family had to make some tough calls during my mother’s recent cancer treatment, “Can we afford this?” was never one of them. She’s well.
Pence warns Alaska that if Graham-Cassidy fails, they could end up with the health-care of "a place called Canada":
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A reminder to Canadian women, "It's settled law," they like to say of abortion rights, and "No one wants to reopen that."
They will tell you that you're being "hysterical," when what you are being is vigilant.
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Candice: Backdoor socialism.
Canada: Don't threaten me with a good time.
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“We’ve decided to respond to Ontario’s buck-a-beer challenge in our own way..."
@dominioncitybc
will donate $1 for each Dominion City Buck-A-Beer Blonde sold to helping refugees build new lives in Ottawa.
The real Ontario shining through. Looks like I’ve got some drinking to do.
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American women are going to need a "Canadian cousin" to visit. I swear to God I will start D&C AirB&B.
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Sometime crisis brings out the best in people, and then sometimes you're Candice Malcolm.
Looks like Justin Trudeau had a nice Easter with his family. He had to break his government’s own rules to do it, but rules are for the little people.
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Beyond the vile “Pocahontas” bit, why is he taking to them like that? Like they’re four-years-old, and he calls them “special.”
It’s like Racist Mr Rogers.
Pres. Trump at event honoring Native American code talkers: "We have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas."
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And then for one brief moment Don Cherry glimpses what it's like to be Ron MacLean.
Don Cherry appears on Tucker Carlson and says he should’ve used the word “everybody” instead of “you people” because people are sensitive. Tucker Carlson’s response is that they aren’t sensitive but they are fascists and they have no real feelings
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Good morning, province, where are we booing Doug Ford today?
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Berlin is just cool. 8,000 glowing balloons recreate the Berlin Wall, 25 yrs after its fall:
http://t.co/md0S9XNUSf
http://t.co/qWQZ4TyhLz
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When asked about Bob Marshall, who called himself "chief homophobe,” had introduced a “bathroom bill” and repeatedly misgendered her, Ms Roem said “I don't attack my constituents. Bob is my constituent now.”
Good morning.
The symbolism of Danica Roem’s victory was amplified by the fact that her opponent fought against transgender rights
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Don't mess with Texas. By which I mean don't visit Texas, don't tour Texas, don't shoot your movie in Texas, don't book your convention in Texas, don't take your killer 15 minute stand-up set to Texas, don't so much as fill up your tank driving through Texas.
BREAKING: SCOTUS just allowed Texas' 6-week abortion ban to take effect -- the 1st time a state has successfully banned abortion early in pregnancy since Roe v. Wade. The court could still block the law in the coming hours/days but clinics will have to turn people away for now.
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Lesson number one, kids, block every mean-spirited, joyless prick who's trolling this tweet.
Hey parents! If your kids are stuck on a homework question, feel free to pass this message along. Because as a teacher, I want to help out. Let me know what the difficult question is by replying to this tweet or using the hashtag
#CanadaHomeworkHelp
- and I’ll see what I can do.
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Just so we're clear on the rules, everyone, you have the Mueller Report, you leak it to
@TeenVogue
. They've earned this.
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Jordan Peterson Fan: Why won't any of you engage with his ideas!!!!
Me: I don’t know, let’s ask Jordan.
Jordan Peterson: Witches are
real. And live in swamps.
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Petition to declare Stephen Harper Canada's Official Bitter Ex-Boyfriend.
Stephen Harper tells private audience investors have lost faith in Canada
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Ah, I see they're invoking the Not Understanding Clause.
Quote in here from the convoy's Ontario organizer: "We have a group of constitutional lawyers that have been working with our team...We're getting the rest of our signatures and we're having them compel the government to dissolve government."
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It's almost hilarious to watch Canadian conservatives try and imitate American conservatives by getting really worked up about a statue. And they call Trudeau "a drama teacher."
Canada wouldn't exist without Sir John A. Macdonald. Canada is a great county, and one we should be proud of. We will not build a better future by defacing our past.
It's time politicians grow a backbone and stand up for our country.
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Let’s be clear,
@globeandmail
knew who Ezra Levant was. The guy’s hardly been hiding his blight under a barrel and I don’t care how (comparatively) tame what the hate inciting racist writes for you is. I don’t care if it’s a goddam great peach pie recipe, this, now, is you.
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Spare me the "End of an era" Don Cherry takes. Because let's bloody hope.
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Joggers––or at least a lot of joggers––what the hell are you thinking? It was annoying when you came up fast, close and panting on me BEFORE this happened. Now you are sweaty supervillains. Backoff, Half-Marathon Magneto, Pecs Luther & Shinsplinto. Off the sidewalk, Dr Endorphin.
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"Oh, hi, so glad you could join me as I squeeze my last few drops of integrity and credibility into my tank."
Today is the last day to fill up before the Federal Carbon Tax is imposed. Ontario remains committed to standing up for families, farmers and jobs in
#YorkSimcoe
by fighting the carbon tax with every tool and power at its disposal.
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Okay, I’m not actually on the cover but I am delighted to say that this November I will be starting at the excellent
@macleans
.
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Really? I was thinking of doing turkey, but ok.
Limit Thanksgiving dinner to only the people you live with, Toronto's top doctor says
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The man who used party funds to pay his kid's private school tuition says what now?
And a reminder Scheer worked the yellow vest crowd at a United We Roll rally and he sure didn't tell *those* protesters to stop snarling up traffic and go back to work.
#Wetsuwenten
"These protesters, these activists, may have the luxury of spending days at a time at a blockade, but they need to check their privilege," outgoing Conservative Leader
@AndrewScheer
says of the
#Wetsuweten
protesters.
#cdnpoli
More here:
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It is sobering statistic that 7 out of 10 Americans will eventually serve as Donald Trump’s White House Communications Director.
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You are sexualizing a woman appearing in a professional context,
@LindaFrum
. That’s flat out wrong, and you’re appropriating the me too hash tag for political purposes to boot. Either find some shame, or a real job, Frum.
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"For this reason Ontario will be introducing live tigers to classrooms for the fall of 2019. Six big cats prowling the hallway of each primary school will encourage children to learn numeracy, as in "How many tigers?!" Communication skills as in "Help!" And tourniquet management.
i just spit out my tea. Minister of Education Lisa Thompson isn't really good at taking questions. On
@metromorning
she just said that the gov't is increasing class sizes to give students more challenges and an opportunity to build resilience and coping skills.
#edchat
#onpoli
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Spare me talk of "good MPs” & “Red Tories” who worked to make Doug Ford premier, but will "rein him in."
It’s like "Look, it’s the Cannibal Army, plus Kevin. Kevin’s a good guy, Kevin doesn’t eat people. Kevin's just here for the tax cuts.”
Kevin still let the Cannibal Army in.
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Don't say it began with a "domestic dispute." "Dispute" suggests a discussion, a weighing of ideas or options, a debate between 2 people with equal power, control of the situation & stake in the outcome. It began with assault, domestic abuse, domestic violence. As it often does.
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The crowd here at the
@JoshMatlow
party cheers every time
@oliviachow
pulls ahead. These are good people.
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Oh, look, an advisor to
@fordnation
, and good friend of
@JohnTory
who he helped get elected, trolling an ICU doctor for (checks notes) knowing how to spell.
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Angry that Justin Trudeau has not yet edited all the cats out of Cats.
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When I was a little kid our car broke down while my family was camping in Holland. Some men stopped to help, the car was towed, fixed and when my dad went to pay the mechanic shook his head firmly, gestured to our Canadian plates, said thank you and refused to take a dime.
Every year on Christmas Eve in Holland, children gather to light candles on the graves of Canadian soldiers who never returned home.
COVID-19 stopped them from gathering this year, but it didn’t stop the lights. It didn’t stop remembrance.
They still see you.
We still see you.
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Forget the New Year's Levée and new shoes on budget day, my favourite Canadian political tradition is the 4 weeks of every election period when the Conservatives pretend they've never met their base.
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Doug Ford cancelled the $100M school repair fund but he’s buying you a beer, folks.
Sure terrible lighting, drafty windows, leaking roofs & useless old furnaces won’t fix themselves but isn’t it time Ontario’s children started thinking of primary school as one long bottle drive?
Happy International Beer Day! As promised, buck-a-beer is coming soon to Ontario, which will be great for beer fans and breweries across our province. I hope everyone enjoys the long weekend responsibly with your beverage of choice.
#InternationalBeerDay
#BuckABeer
#onpoli
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Just went to my corner store to buy milk. Couldn't even get in the door. Place is packed to the rafters with
@OntarioPCParty
MPP's taking selfies with the potato chips. When will this long provincial nightmare be over?
BREAKING:
@fordnation
has ordered all PC MPPs to drive to their local variety store and take super casual and non-weird pictures of shelf space where the booze could be. (Bonus points for pics with employees?)
Your provincial government, inaction.
#onpoli
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I’m just a homeowner in Toronto, asking you to vote for a candidate who’ll raise my property taxes — then not spend that revenue on more cops. Money spent making the city more livable, affordable, accessible, and yes, delightful, is part of the investment, like basic maintenance.
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Recommendations: if you enjoyed Spotlight, you might also enjoy subscribing to a God damn newspaper.
#Oscars
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Wait? Sorry? What “treatment” does one get for that, Tony? “Someone told me they wanted to see pictures of my dick for totally sexy, 100% non-blackmaily reasons and I believed them because I am Tony Clement” is not an illness.
BREAKING: Statement from former Conservstive Minister Tony Clement -
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"All I need is the air that I breathe and to..."
"Well, fuck you," say Ontario's Conservatives.
Ontario cancels program that aimed to plant 50 million trees
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Took an antihistamine and now I have some things I want to say about the Dutch…
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Heartiest congratulations to Toronto’s next mayor,
@oliviachow
! Man, this is really going to shake things up on the Rogers board—Wait, I’m getting new information. That role does not in fact come with the position.
BREAKING: Toronto has chosen a new mayor. Olivia Chow has been elected Mayor of Toronto.
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A first. TO police allege deadly attack at erotic spa was incel *terrorism.* Calling these many attacks what they are, "inspired by the incel movement made up of men unable to attract sexual partners who promote violence against women on internet forums."
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He. Is. Not. Sorry.
The meanness is the message.
Watch
@AndrewScheer
weasel out of apologizing TWICE in this short clip for derogatory statements he made about the LGBT community.
#elxn43
#cdnpoli
#scheerhomophobia
#ScheerDisaster
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In soccer, diving is an attempt by a player to gain an unfair advantage by falling to the ground, often feigning an injury, in an attempt to give the impression that a foul has been committed. It reflects very badly on your team,
@lraitt
, and is a blight on the sport as a whole.
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Overall, this is a relief, it's wrong to eat kids.
More adults have died from eating laundry pods than kids
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I must say I'm liking Erin O'Toole's new campaign strategy: if you elect me, I might not even be Erin O'Toole.
It coordinates well with the Conservative's "Don't ask us what we're going to do, because you might not like it" messaging.
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This is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. Is it too late for the Conservative Party to put Andrew Scheer back in his original packaging and return him?
Gather round, young and old. It’s time for a (tall) Christmas tale.
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For anyone thinking "Why the Internet?" Happy Halloween, via Reddit.
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"Fucking juice boxes, how do they work?"
I tried it....those “drink box water bottles” err paper box water things just don’t work 🤷🏼♀️
#trudeaulogic
#fail
#cdnpoli
#tryharder
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Dear Men In My Feed who think women are “hysterical” about, whining over, or overreacting to, threats to their ability to access abortion, it might help if you thought of this as our beer in the corner store.
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When Christmas comes early.
Former Toronto mayoral candidate Faith Goldy has been ordered to pay more than $43,000 in the aftermath of her failed lawsuit against a Canadian media company.
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For hours people have told Conservative deputy leader
@MelissaLantsman
that those are smoke canisters, used at celebrations, sporting events, gender reveals and, yes, protests, yet her post remains up. It’s pretty clear what she’s hoping to accomplish here — and at whose expense.
Peaceful protester wearing a pretend suicide vest at the
#AlQudsDay
rally in Toronto.
No big deal.
This morally bankrupt Liberal government has decided this is the Canada they want.
#cdnpoli
Everyone else hears your silence
@JustinTrudeau
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Yes, it has no real value, morons expend a lot of energy producing anyway, all the guys holding it tell you it's in high demand, but the smart investor recognizes a classic pump-and-dump scheme when they see one.
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Welcome home, kid.
#RefugeesWelcome
Canada: Where a woman, living in a log cabin in the mountains, can crowdfund $14K, for a Syrian refugee she'd never met, to bring him to Canada, with a job, after being stranded in an airport, for eight months, sleeping on the floor, because he refused to fight in the war.
🇨🇦
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Deeply imbedded in the Canadian Constitution are the words “Let’s never be that weird about our flag."
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In these trying times I have nothing to offer you but my freshly bathed whippet drying herself off.
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A reminder to Canadian women, "It's settled law," they will say of abortion rights, and "No one wants to reopen that."
They will tell you that you're being "hysterical," when what you are being is vigilant.
🚨 Last week, Pierre Poilievre threatened to override the fundamental rights & freedoms of Canadians.
Today, we saw Pierre's Conservative MP follow in his leader's footsteps & attack the Morgantaler decision - the Supreme Court ruling that decriminalized abortion in Canada.
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Thanks so much for all your kind words. They mean a lot to me and don’t worry, I’ll have this figured out in no time.
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Oh, "open waters... no land in sight." I guess their life-jackets are made from the same material as the Conservative's climate change plan.
My family and I geared up and hit the open waters of the Atlantic Ocean this afternoon. My Prairie-born kids loved being able to fish for mackerel on a big “lake” with no land in sight.
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I'm told the scientific name is Andrew Scheer.
Human-sized giant barrel jellyfish spotted by divers off U.K. coast
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That’s right, back in the 1950s gay people were all given $160,000 a year, someone made them lunch and they got to play with Lego.
JAMES DAMORE INTERVIEW: Fired Google engineer compares being a conservative at Google to 'being gay in the 1950s'
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Quiet guys, she's invoking the NotUnderstanding Clause
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It’s a truly beautiful day here at Queen’s Park and I sincerely don’t think Doug Ford understands the fight he’s picked.
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The weirdest part of this is he’s going to creep into the nominees’ dressing room when they’re half naked.
I will be announcing THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock. Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media. Stay tuned!
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It seems the level of moron I had assigned to Maxime Bernier was a false bottom.
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There is nothing Andrew Scheer does that looks natural. Is he auditioning figure skating partners?
Stopped to film a video in Toronto this morning and ended up meeting so many of you who have been let down by Justin Trudeau. Our movement has momentum and I’m not going to stop working hard to help you get ahead.
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Trump voters: “No more political correctness!”
Hamilton cast member: “Sir, please govern for all of us”
Trump voters: Uncontrollable sobbing
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Vaccinations in Ontario: If only there were a way to organize this thing like it wasn't a sorta stabby Easter egg hunt.
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Twitter needs a "Fuck Off Dickhead" version of the "Like."
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A polite reminder to Canadians not residing in Canada that the supreme court ruled that you have the right to vote in federal elections no matter how long you have lived outside Canada.
Hey, wandering Canadians, don't forget to get your vote on. Registration and Voting Processes for Canadians Who Live Abroad. Please RT and share:
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“Be a man Jimmy!” — Guy who just whined to millions of people about that time his hair got “seriously messed up.”
.
@jimmyfallon
is now whimpering to all that he did the famous “hair show” with me (where he seriously messed up my hair), & that he would have now done it differently because it is said to have “humanized” me-he is taking heat. He called & said “monster ratings.” Be a man Jimmy!
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Now apologize to sex-workers, you smirky little tool.
Earlier today, I stood in the House of Commons to apologize unreservedly to
@Laurel_BC
for my comments during the debate on our Opposition Day motion.
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Also, a long time ago I had a “No costume, No candy” policy but I get a lot of new Canadians at my door, excited kids, often accompanied by their often exhausted parents, still figuring out this weird thing we do. Everyone gets candy. In fact, no costume, extra candy.
Stop hating on teens who still get dressed up and go trick or treating. They're putting in effort, they should damn well get the candy too.
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FYI I am experimenting with a mode of being in which I do not give a fuck what men like Jordan Peterson think the consequences of women controlling their fertility “should” be and it’s going swimmingly.
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Gavin McInnes is Canada's shittiest export –– and we only recently banned asbestos.
Meet the “Proud Boys,” the violent hate gang Trump ordered to “stand back and stand by.”
"We will kill you. That's the Proud Boys"
Republicans - you are part of a white supremacist group
Get out now
#Debates2020
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Out walking my dog this morning, I was moved to see an
@oliviachow
volunteer in purple hat and t-shirt putting celebratory fresh flowers on Jack Layton’s grave.
Feels like Toronto might just be pulling out of something that was so chaotic, yet dull, and deeply ungenerous .
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These men don’t kill people because women don’t have sex with them, women tend not to have sex with them because they sense these men want to kill them.
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“Jewish ridings.” This isn’t a slip of the tongue. Poilievre — who aims to represent Canada on the world stage — typed this out, proofread it and then posted it and there better be some pointed follow-up questions.
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Toronto voted for John Tory because he offered a compelling “Vote for me and you will not be governed by Doug Ford” platform. Little more was expected — Tory still managed to disappoint. Now Doug Ford’s assumed command and Tory's gone political AWOL. You had one job, John Tory.
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How can anyone who has ever loved someone with an addiction be against safe injection sites?
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“She says one time he made her sit with him for three hours watching ‘shark week.’ Another time he had her spank him with a Forbes magazine.” This woman deserved a hell of a lot more than $130,000.
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Your nearly daily reminder that Jason Kenney is a tool.
Jason Kenney called me a 19 year old last night - as an insult I guess?
1) I’m 29
2) That’s the age he was when he was first elected
3) I’ll take young people getting active in politics over the
#OldBoysClub
any day
#ableg
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A man who, on top of everything else, stands credibly accused of literally screwing-over the little widow lady. That widow lady being his late brother’s wife. Well, done, Ontario. That new sex-ed curriculum you’re all jonesing for better be a Goddamn literary masterpiece.
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You used to hear people say "I drive better when I'm drunk." It sounded a lot like this.
Cancelling plans this Xmas is a personal choice.
So, if you choose to cancel plans - stop trying to shame those who aren’t.
Ppl have a choice whether to see friends & family this Christmas.
The online shaming, esp from health care professionals is disgusting.
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Laura Ingraham would like to speak to the virus' manager, right now, please.
Americans need to know date certain when this will end. The uncertainty for businesses, parents and kids is just not sustainable.
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