SaffronBurke 🐀
@Sweet_Saffron
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1,949
Following
514
Media
10,524
Statuses
164,147
18+ only, NSFW | any pronouns | Lesbian | Agender | Horny on main | |
Triumph Settlement
Joined January 2013
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@QuinCunning
@yawningemoji
Nothing. We're also not supposed to go to the gym and work out to lose weight, people will literally mock fat people who are using treadmills or weights or whatever. We're supposed to just stay at home and magically get skinny overnight somehow.
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@hbg_honey
I am BEYOND tired of the "you're scared" narrative. Do you accuse people of being scared when they wear a seat belt or a helmet, or keep their smoke detectors maintained? No, because those are reasonable precautions to prevent death and/or injury.
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@Imani_Barbarin
"let's take our immune compromised child to a super spreader event, what's the worst that can happen?
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@TheMagpieMirror
@JoshuaPotash
People making that argument don't realize that 8 hours, 5 days a week, was the compromise, not the goal.
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@DareBear1226
@Codi_Vore
I make a little too much for 100% forgiveness, but I got a $7k bill knocked down to $500ish. From there, I was able to make a payment arrangement to pay it off over a year at $43/month. Game-changing.
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@nathaniaola
@Spicydougg
Every abusive parent's favorite guilt trip. Congrats, you did the bare minimum, how about you try not inflicting mental scars.
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@badbjtchbey
@meredeathmetal
@BIGVICEE
Completely! I've walked out of a thrift store with more than that for $50.
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@Joselito__D
@DrinkSolaPop
I saw so many people freak out at 25 that they're "halfway to 50 and haven't even done anything yet". I was so confused because 25 is so young, what grand things were you expecting to have accomplished that's giving you a quarter-life crisis?
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@MyHandsRatedE
@pussyhairtwirlr
In the early 90's, one of my mom's friends would put on oil before sunbathing to get tanner, not for sun protection. That used to be common, I wonder where the "it's sunscreen" change happened.
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@lovelightliam
@MarlaBeard
@jbillinson
I totally understand being excited about that and wanting a party. Too bad stupid people ran with it.
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Sex worker psa:
For the love of your orifices, STOP buying jelly, PVC, realskin, etc dildos. They're porous af and harbor bacteria, can't be sterilized, and eventually break down, leaching toxic chemicals into your body.
Do use: Silicone, glass, hard plastic, stainless steel.
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@B_freudsissues
@FionaBski
@HLMongoose
@Rschooley
A friend of mine has a theory that all dogs have the same amount of angry in them, regardless of size. In chihuahuas, it's extra condensed.
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@lex_maray
@itsdivyag
@Bananabbyjay
@sirenayasminxo
When I worked at VS, we didn't sell damaged product, not even for a discount if it was wearable, so we had to destroy it before throwing it away. They'd hand me a bag of bras to cut in half when they could have been donated to a shelter or something.
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@stormofadream
@hansdickie
I've started responding "only if it's Jesus" when they ask if I'm pregnant. Lesbian, on two forms of birth control, haven't had sex in 7 years, and now I have no uterus, so the chances are astronomically tiny at this point!
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@Its_PauldineJ
@Spinninshaex
My mom wasn't a great parent, but she would just say "that's not appropriate" and change the radio station or TV channel. Never heard a complaint about anyone being a "bad role model" because it's not their job.
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@Hateunlggas
@WitchyCommie
@CHRlSTITTIES
@jewish_activist
This. I literally own real leather boots that are older than me. By contrast, even the quality faux leather I've had, broke down after a few years. I'd rather have the item that will last my lifetime and not have to be replaced every 2-3 years.
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@TheJakobRose
@nicoleroguexx
"they'll wrinkle and won't look as good"
So will the rest of me, what's your point?
I have never seen an old person with tattoos and thought "it's a shame their tattoos have aged." It's always "look at that badass granny! She must've had a fun life"
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@IsaakMo
@jvcobjewell
My dad walked into a strand that was just floating in midair in the hallway once
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@BrianniT
@pussyhairtwirlr
And then they act surprised if the kid develops an eating disorder, well you never taught them how to have a healthy relationship with food, so.....
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@8instruggletwts
@Simply_lay_
@BRBRASTREISAND
These bad stories make me appreciate mine. He assured me at the beginning of the pandemic that he wouldn't evict me & we'd figure something out, and has lowered my rent w/out requiring it paid back while I was on UI, and again this month so I'd have extra cash for Christmas.
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@ShayHoward_
@studsband416
@sfergs_
Same, we could never critique our mom (still can't now at 30) because she'd go on about how much worse other kids have it, or how much more abusive her parents were.
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@hmaz76
@danielleweisber
On the flip side of that, my mom had a surprise baby at 45. Her existing kids were 18 (me), 17, and 14, so when people saw us in public they'd assume one of us was the mom 😭 Lots of judgy "ugh, teen moms!" looks, especially directed at the youngest sister.
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@FromAerin
@sarah_ogun
Some men feel threatened by toys "because I can't compete" and won't even think about it.
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@ericisaac
@AWuornosFan
Literally proving "one bad apple spoils the bunch". You can't allow one bad apple to be there, you have to remove it before it gets to this point.
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@n_prmw
@eliaswhyus
@QuisBonds
You call it "desperation", I call it "look how much was left in here!"
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@eclecticinfidel
@Melbreezy_
I feel like I have to announce that it's just allergies every time I sneeze in public.
I also managed to get my yearly cold right NOW. I was fine all winter, then my body decided that now was good for a regular cold (confirmed by a doctor visit, no fever so not coronavirus).
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@chick_in_kiev
Eat-in shouldn't be an option right now, even patio dining. You can't eat through a mask, stay home and order delivery.
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@SPlDER_MANS
@softsadsatan
I had to wear one of my mom's tank tops over my swimsuit as a teen because it was a bikini. It was a modest one, covered everything, but it "wasn't appropriate" so I had to cover it. She could've just bought me a one-piece but the bikini was free from a friend.
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@rockwthu
@__gweelos
Seriously! Because height and weight don't tell enough information, two people can be the exact same height and weight but very different body types and measurements.
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@SeriNakniChahta
@PiamentaShimon
I don't understand how anyone sees the flag upside down and being deliberately touched to the ground as a positive act. It's basic flag code.
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@escarcegalexis
@AnastasianQveen
@EvaScarpa
If the roles were switched, the dude would get zero follows, because who wants a poorly-lit dic pic with a messy background? Nobody would expend the energy to ruin his life, they'd just laugh and keep swiping.
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@BabyVampBat
@axcomrade
I worked somewhere that wouldn't even give us mats to stand on behind the register, claiming it was unnecessary. The floor was concrete tile. It was so bad, a coworker had to have surgery on her feet. I'd break down empty boxes and stand on them so I had SOME cushion.
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@sugaalite
@BabySaccharine
I overhead one of my mom's friends complaining that "it's entrapment" and unfair to the people they're catching.
They're pedophiles, Christy, I don't care how "fair" you think it is, what they do to kids is way less "fair".
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@christianacici
I find the adults who make a scene about babies crying, WAY more annoying than the baby. The baby can't help it, that's their only way to communicate, meanwhile you are a 57 year old man, learn some self control get noise canceling headphones like the rest of us, and stfu.
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@nirahymanwrites
How did she even come up with this story? She didn't even embellish the truth, she made up an alternate universe.
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@zarkiki
@jackieaina
I wish they'd let me wear my glasses. I always look stoned because I can't see.
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@runitupmiles
@boyists
It shows how gullible they are, or think their followers are. Two seconds of rational thought will tell you that nobody would spend 9 months growing a fetus, go through the pain and turmoil of birth, THEN "abort" the living baby. That's so much stress on your body for no reason.
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@TheTechTam
@moneyymaya
And housekeeping definitely isn't going to act like that trying to get into the room. If they can't get into your room, they go on to the next one and come back later, not start slamming the door and yelling.
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It was common practice throughout Europe for CENTURIES for Christian women to cover their hair, both for modesty reasons, and for practicality, protecting against dirt, pollution, and sun. Nuns still do. And yet when Muslim women do it, people lose their minds.
This is UK just over 100 yrs ago
You see the girls, the shawls are completely covering them. And you don't see their hair at all. You just see their faces.
A lot of Christians forget that the Hijab is their centuries practice and the chastity of Mary, Mother of Jesus.
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@harm3y
@christianacici
@ohshxtfe
Literally! It's like they're trying to have a miserable experience on purpose.
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@lingerie_addict
Aja's thread yesterday on the Refinery 29 articles about people who are spending more than my annual salary on fast fashion was eye opening. Some of these people are spending 6 figures a year on this stuff. I can't even comprehend dealing with that many clothes.
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@UnicornTickles
@draw_gregory
I do this a lot. I'll be halfway into a reply, then realize nope, this isn't a good use of my time, delete.
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@LeanneLangdon2
@indyfromspace
@gaileyfrey
Sea shanties are literally for this kind of thing. Adjusting sails, pulling down racist statues, you need everyone pulling together.
Unfortunately, not a lot of people are familiar with sea shanties, mostly weirdos like me.
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@LazyGyodza
@0atberry
@SugarappleBri
@VoicesByZane
I've had pictures get flagged just for there being too much beige. Sprouted seeds on my kitchen counter? Must be nudity, almost the entire photo is beige!
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@Cam_Oflage
@GreenDay
"95% of teens these days listen to the same crappy pop over and over" says someone who's listening to 40+ year old music on repeat....
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@lingerie_addict
Too expensive? That's likely the cost of the materials. People have entirely lost touch with how much things should cost.
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@KarlDanger
@AYANLAVANZANT
@MissRubyRousson
She was trying to get a man killed by cops. Literally the thing the protest is about. If you can't see the difference, you're not trying to understand.
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@rivbutcher
A tiktoker I follow edits her captions to "man (derogatory)" and I cackle every time.
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@charlielaila
@_BHughes
@___AGE
Especially if he was 17 at the time, definitely sounds like he was trying to graduate early. He probably wanted to get into college sooner so he could start working sooner, existing is expensive these days.
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@HNHughson
@barbieprivilege
@Mindful_Jedi
A friend's mom once told me how her dad wanted to work at this factory, so he showed up every day at opening time, asked for a job, and when he was declined, just stayed there until quitting time. Eventually they hired him. You'd get arrested for that today.
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@melsaidwhat_
@Spinninshaex
Me when a woman compliments me: 😍 omg thank youuuuu 😘
Me when men compliment me: 🙃 Yes, I know 😑
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@melyssa__dawson
@knowngaslighter
@coupties
I had a reduction a few years ago, went from a GG to a D. Wish it would have been possible to donate my spare titty, that's so many boobs!
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@SaxMike71
@chickenfootsona
@SeeSunnySierra
They're so bright, looking away doesn't help, it's still searing my periphery. Maybe it's because I have glasses and they refract the light and make it worse, but those bright lights are unbearable unless I completely close my eyes.
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@CrabOfDoom
@Thia2
@jaffobsession
@Treilly1298Tara
@innovationohio
I really want to start calling them up and describe in vivid detail just what I experience on a day-to-day basis living with PCOS and endometriosis.
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@VacuousMoose
@bransonreese
@ghostgarbage
Or the one who made a scene because someone took bites out of his hamburger.... It was him, he ate part of it and put it in the fridge for later.
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@yourfav_auntie
@MakeupForWOC
Right? In the 90's and earlier, people put on oils before going in the sun so they could get MORE tan, they weren't even trying to protect their skin.
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@daniel87111
@DadShoes9
@theemilyaccount
It's really always the most mediocre dicks, and that's being kind.
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@cassidydiana
@lem0npeppers
I have seen more than one Karen going "I wish I would get catcalled, at least then I'd know I'm still attractive", or "you'll miss it when you get older and it stops". No, I will NOT miss it, please go to therapy and work on your self esteem because damn.
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@SimonJadis
@redditships
Oh, absolutely with the fewer clothes! Go naked all day and put on a bathrobe to bring in deliveries and check mail, ta-da, less laundry needs doing. But, for the good of your own skin, shower.
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@NicciHowe
@garfgf
@ellenkorbes
I've encountered this as well, been assumed trans because I was standing up for trans women. They claim that they "can always tell", but in reality, they just pin the trans label on anyone they disagree with, because in their minds, all cis people agree with them.
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@mikeziken
@wapplehouse
@NewHanoverSO
"some of those who work forces, are the same that burn crosses", and all that.
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@NeolithicSheep
@historiancole
Considering that it says he doesn't do well with cats, this seems like a logical reason.
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@ExoSoulInc
@wgervais
Thor is literally a Scandinavian God. Thor, Odin, Loki, all Viking gods, and Vikings were - wait for it - Scandinavian.
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@zoiedt
That's evil. I work for a bank, we do require legal records of name changes to prevent fraud, but closing an account because of the name change is disgusting.
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@wormdeluxe
@vvyattt1
@daniel87111
@DadShoes9
@theemilyaccount
The picture quality, too. I'm almost more offended at the quality of the photo than the fact that it was unsolicited. I've seen so many dirty rooms and full toilets in the background 🤦♀️
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@ambernoelle
@MaraWilson
Every part of "Boob" looks like what it's talking about, which adds to the awesomeness.
B: view from the top
oo: view from the front
b: view from the side
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@ashntir
@dzinosam
@NatashaNafrini
@Jewelvocado
@YungKundalini
Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox. If that's not a super pagan way to decide when a holiday is, I don't know what is.
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@okayndidi
@BabySaccharine
To anyone reading this and thinking, "I tried to change so-and-so's mind but they just won't listen", keep doing it anyway. They might not wise up, but it's important to keep speaking up, especially in front of kids, because those kids will grow up knowing that shit isn't ok.
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@gabbycfit
@pxm__
I'm 32 and still think "but you're too young for kids" when someone my age gets pregnant 🤣
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@RunicNature
@razorgxrl
My mom had a miscarriage 3 months after I was born.
Wish that had been me instead tbh
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@megaahego
@cutefatbitch00
@jackieaina
I used to see that when I worked retail, too! Coming in buying everything 2 sizes too big and leaving nothing for the people who actually need that size. If you want it baggy, buy men's - they're cheaper and usually last longer anyway.
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@S3RVAUGHN
@crybabyaquarius
@kylachingona
And people wonder why so many women never report their assaults. It's so frustrating to go in knowing that the justice system will likely fail you.
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@austin4n
@writerunplay
@taureaucadeau
@AdamantxYves
@killafran
That's definitely how it seems. The staff is at least trying to stay between them and keep the woman who's filming somewhat safe while security arrives, but they're only allowed to do so much according to company policy. They're not even supposed to confront shoplifters.
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@xvxbless
@TheCourtKim
@slimtxm
I used to get temporary tattoos all the time as a kid, and they'd stay on through multiple showers. You have to use oil to remove them, so they're rain-safe.
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@Thapi5
@Rochelle__Meyer
If you have a body, you have the body for it. There's an audience for all body types!
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@Dr_Dusse
@ldrethegiant
People who I've heard call turn signals "blinkers" are my grandparent's age at least (80).
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@Qchan05
@redditships
Seriously, I'm 30 and the idea of flirting with a 19-yr-old makes me nauseous. I feel like a creeper going younger than 25, tbh.
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@KANESHAVELI
@joIaye
Someone asked me if it was weird that she called my male cat "she". He's a cat, you can call him poopypants mcgee for all he cares as long as you pet him!
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@clown_cheeee
Just because YOU don't want to do porn, doesn't mean that no woman wants to do porn. I don't want to be a lawyer, but I don't project my feelings about that onto people in that field.
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