Mara Wilson
@MaraWilson
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Statuses
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Too tired for Twitter these days. Press: Heidi @positivejampr .com. Buy my book WHERE AM I NOW?
L.A., mostly
Joined October 2011
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Hey all, I’m going to be getting rid of my account soon.
If you want to find me, I’m on Instagram, same name.
For the time being, at least, I’m on also on Bluesky.
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IT GOES OVER YOUR NOSE! IT GOES OVER YOUR NOSE IT GOES OVER YOUR NOSE IT GOES OVER YOUR NOSE IT GOES OVER YOUR NOSE
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Straight people who think that they can’t be friends with the “opposite sex” because sexual attraction gets in the way are vastly overestimating their sexual attractiveness
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I love when people call me Matilda when they think I’m being too opinionated or political
Because Matilda, who incited a riot at her school and got rid of an abusive tyrant at age six, wouldn’t be political at all
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Really sick of one of the richest and most influential white women in the world being lauded as some great crusader and truthteller for hating on one of the most marginalized groups of people
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Anytime I see someone with a mask and unfogged glasses I bow to them, because I have clearly just met a fucking powerful wizard
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This is a man who worked for 20 years before becoming a series regular, nearly 30 before becoming a household name. He did regional theater, voiceover for commercials and anime dubbing in the meantime. He knows what it’s like to be a working actor. Listen to him!
Bryan Cranston delivers a rousing speech addressed to Bob Iger at a SAG-AFTRA strike rally in Times Square: "We will not allow you to take our dignity. We are union through and through all the way to the end."
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I loved Little Women but can we please let the Indigenous and Jewish POC director have this one
The Academy overlooks Greta Gerwig (again!) as Taika Waititi wins Best Adapted Screenplay.
Why Gerwig's stunning
#LittleWomen
adaptation deserved an Oscar:
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Hey, who’s your favorite short, half-Irish and half-Jewish (but secular), dark-haired light-eyed former child actor with a severe nickel allergy who played the title character from a beloved British children’s book about a child with magic powers? Me, right?
DAMMIT RADCLIFFE
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"The vaccine may affect the menstrual cycle!" Yeah menstrual cycles can change at the slightest breeze, and you know what REALLY affects them? Viruses.
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Matilda and Eleven would choose not to fight, and would instead become friends.
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Thinking about how my whole childhood in the US I was told socialism inevitably led to mass death, secret police, voter suppression, food and supply shortages, massive lines, antisemitism, disease, lack of health care, job loss, oppression, etc.
But wouldn’t you know it
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Saw TWO girls in pajama pants and tank tops as A Choice today, which means the early 2000s are officially back. I’m sorry, everyone.
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Just don’t fucking sexualize children. It doesn’t matter if they’re in the public eye. Don’t. Sexualize. Children.
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Every time I’m feeling a little bit down, I remember I had a part in this.
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This is like that time I realized blankets didn’t really make us warm, they just trapped our own body heat, and I thought I was a genius and wondered if anyone had ever thought of it before. I was like ten
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So the Rockettes should "do their job" but pharmacists who don't want to give birth control or bakers that won't serve gay people shouldn't?
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You guys do realize when you criticize me for having opinions as a “former child star” you are acknowledging that I inspired more people before the age of 10 than you will in your entire life
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EVERY GUY PITCHING HIS MOVIE IN 1997-2002: What if... there were multiple stories... and they INTERSECTED... but maybe CAME TOGETHER AT THE END?!?!?!?!
EVERY EXECUTIVE IN 1997-2002: Holy fucking shit dude
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I wear bangs because I’m saving my forehead reveal for my wedding night 😊
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“It’s BIOLOGY, you can’t just CHANGE your biology” Then how the hell do you all have blonde and red hair at 60, Sheryl
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...I guess I’m at that creepy age where I’m attracted to both of them
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I haven’t acted much as an adult, but I WAS on a recurring character on one of the most critically acclaimed animated shows of all time, as well playing an actual Disney villain.
But thanks to streaming, I have never once made enough to qualify for SAG-AFTRA healthcare.
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Reductress knows my heart
Wow! This Child Actress is All Grown Up, and You Won’t Believe How Much She Hates Your Obsession With What She Looks Like Now:
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I’ve never gotten more hate on here than when I express support for trans people. But I see no reason to exclude or be hateful to one of the most vulnerable populations. Trans women are women, trans men are men, that does not take away from my rights and being who I am.
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I highly recommend accepting the fact that you’re probably wrong about a lot of things and will continue to learn that you are wrong about a lot of things
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Oat milk is so much better than almond milk AND it’s not ruining California, why the fuck would anyone drink almond milk unless they had to
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I’m 33 and still far prefer the word “boobs” to “breasts”
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Rachel McAdams needs more leading roles, including one as my wife
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One of the first days filming Matilda, a man who looked very familiar turned to me, completely deadpan, and said “Did you hear the one about the bed?”
I said no.
He said, “It’s not made up yet.”
It still makes me smile.
#RIPPaulReubens
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I’m fine with this
My apologies in advance as I present to you: Matilda Swinton
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Fucking EVERYBODY IN THE UNITED STATES has a pre-existing condition
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Hollywood is SO conservative you guys. A lot of actors and directors are liberal, and some are leftist, but at the end of the day it’s all about capitalism and what will sell. It’s VERY conservative.
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I don’t miss being a child but I do miss thinking water parks were clean and fun
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I want a girlfriend but I don’t want to have to talk about astrology or grisly murders all the time
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Just remembered that instead of replying to a tweet I think is wrong I can just say “well that’s just not true” out loud to myself and move on with my life
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My sister and I got these socks from our stepmom and I don't know if we have ever received a better gift
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I stood next to Quentin Tarantino on a red carpet when I was seven years old and I had never seen my parents do anything more than split an anniversary drink at a restaurant, and I remember thinking for the first time “I think that person is on drugs”
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Can we shut the fuck up about introverts and extroverts already
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I would never want to be an A-list or even B-list celebrity, I feel like it would be way too much pressure, but I WOULD like to do one of those interviews where you are surprised with kittens
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FRIEND: Want to do Escape the Room?
ME: Dude like 90% of my life is me trying to figure out how to get out of places I don't want to be
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Woody Allen really did an interview thirty years ago where he said that if he were a child molester he would have already done it, that he’d “had plenty of opportunities” and thought that would make him look LESS suspicious
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I used to think that romantic relationships were based on a lot of bickering and battles of wits that inevitably turned into chemistry. That’s how people fall in love in movies. But then you grow up and realize that not everything in life is the way it’s portrayed in Shrek
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“2020 is awesome for us introverts” Do you think maybe just this once you guys could maybe do what you are known for doing and be quiet
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Harrison Ford has never given a single shit about anything ever in his entire life
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I know caucuses can be a bit confusing to non-Americans, so here’s how they work: first they gather up a great pile of stones, then everyone in town arrives, then the families take a piece of paper from the black box, and if you pull a paper with a black spot you get sacrificed
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@TwitterComms
Do you know how many people on here are constantly calling for genocide against Jews or Muslims or Black people or LGBTQ people
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What are your most on-brand stories from your early teens? One of mine is definitely the time fourteen-year-old me told a group of girls that masturbation was normal and healthy and "a great way to know your body" but that personally, I did not do it.
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We are not your friends and you can't sit with us
I am proud to support my LGBTQ friends and the LGBTQ Americans who have made immense contributions to our society and economy.
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Honestly Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development was one of the first mean grandmothers I ever saw on TV and I’m so glad that people like me who grew up with a really terrible mean grandmother got to laugh it off
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OK
Starting today, your Twitter display name can be up to 50 characters in length! Go ahead, add that middle name or even a few more emojis.
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Some of you guys really want a cookie for finding non-conventionally attractive people attractive
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So what age were YOU when you started hiding your painful sincerity and earnestness under a thin veneer of cynicism and hostility
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“Fourteen years old is basically grown up” -Me at age 8, and also 30-something male libertarians
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If you want to talk about a state that has a bad reputation but actually fucking rules let’s talk New Jersey
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Some of you didn't have relatives telling your closeted ass they believed gay people should still be stoned *in the 2000s* and it shows
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I love that English people are so snooty about American actors doing English accents, but English actors can only ever do New York or Southern accents and never a baseline American accent
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Sometimes I look at accounts and media that glamorize weddings and I feel like some women only want to get married to wear a pretty dress, and that makes me sad. You can just as easily get to wear pretty dresses by pledging your soul to Black Phillip
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Titles I‘d fully believe were British TV shows:
Beamish and Quigley
The Quite Corking Quiz Show
Shan’t We Tell the Vicar?
A Bee’s As Good As A Bonnet
Up Your Arse, Alistair!
That Isn’t How We Do It in Lincolnshire, That Isn’t How We Do It At All
Just Joanna Lumley
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My eight-year-old stepcousin got the question “The Trunchbull is the villain of what Roald Dahl book?” in a trivia game we were playing and responded “...Medusa?”
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@jk_rowling
What, exactly, is to be gained by using your platform to be cruel and exclusionary to one of the world’s most vulnerable populations?
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WOODY ALLEN: Jazz is the only good music
ALSO WOODY ALLEN: There are no black people in my movies
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Tupac was literally in the Young Communist League as a teen in Baltimore
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Why do people ever stan politicians, politician is the one occupation where it is and should be acceptable for all of us to yell at them all the time
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I once turned on a TV in a hotel in London and Space Jam was on. I’d never seen it (I was busy in 1996) so I said “Who’s that?” My then-boyfriend said “That’s Lola Bunny! You don’t remember Lola Bunny?” I said no, and he said, in a way I’ll never forget, “*I* remember Lola Bunny”
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Just thinking of how many people who have been in abusive relationships considered themselves too smart to ever be in an abusive relationship
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I always wish someone had a crush on me, and then when someone does, I have a panic attack because fuck, that’s just way too much pressure
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My mom would have been 67 this week and honestly T*m Allen getting skewered is one of the best things that could happen on her birthday week, she hated him
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Cats show their love by stepping on you in the exact place that you are hurting
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Said “OH FUCK YOU” when he brought up the Jewish grandchildren
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I’m talking to my friends who got the vaccine like I talked to my cool friends who actually had sex back in high school
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I spent too much time trying to please and befriend people when really I need to be focusing on what’s more important, pleasing and befriending crows
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I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids
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Without downloading new pics, reply with a video/pic of what it looks like dating you
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My self-destructive 20s were mostly just saying yes to things I didn’t want to do and then being really pissy about it later
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I really hope 20 years from now kids will ask what it was like living in such a chaotic, violent time, because it seems so alien to them.
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"Men and women can't be friends" -Men you'd never want to be friends with anyway
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Not liking a movie or band that everyone else likes isn't a substitute for a personality
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If you need a new quarantine pastime I recommend “do I have a crush on this friend or am l just bored”
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I’ve had multiple friends say things like “if Bernie loses/can’t get things done I am going to laugh” and I’m just like, really? You’re going to laugh while kids are tortured and people die from lack of medical coverage? That wouldn’t be my reaction
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I truly hope that the little girl who came up to me in the supermarket to boast that not only did she and her sister get chocolate milk but that they were going CAMPING tomorrow has the best time
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Sophocles couldn’t write this shit
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"Oh my god I LOVE this song" -Me, listening to a Favorite Songs playlist I made
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