JUST ANNOUNCED: A special show with 3 natl headliners. Catch Triple Threat w/ @StephaneeMchugh @LouisJohnson @superboycomedy March 18 & 25 at Comedy Works South! Details: https://t.co/c17dBAxAIM

Boom. She remains the queen.

You guys would not believe the roller coaster of emotions I’ve been through

My parked car was hit. Get a call from insurance. The person was too shaken to leave a note but took my plate down. He’s 83 and hand makes bakeware. Picked up the car today and found this lemon juicer inside as an apology gift. Made from silt left behind by the Calgary floods 💕

I love Katie Porter. DAMN

I lost my dad - pictured here as a cheerleader - to suicide in 2014. One of the biggest risks we face in suicide prevention is the fear of the stigma associated with seeking help. To all those who support those in need, THANK YOU. #nationalsuicidepreventionday

As I was heading out to the store my son said, "Mom, don't forget to call your friends to ask if they need anything! We have to take care of each other!" We may not see our village much right now, but our children are still feel that sense of community. Don't forget that.

All this work for happiness checks out

Where's the craps table n why is an unhappy child in this casino.

Let's do it. #SaveTheUSPS

Happy Birthday to the great @SteveMartinToGo! Here is a #throwback to him dropping into the Original Room with @chrisrock in February! Have a wonderful birthday Steve! #TheComedyStore #stevemartin #paidregular #birthday #originalroom #chrisrock #dropin

Thank you @washingtonpost, this is a really cool piece! And I can’t wait to show it to my paren-

Someone stole my sunscreen. Stealing sunscreen from an Irish person is attempted murder.

"If these tears do not shake America, the tears that we shed as mothers will be the tears that break America."

Two best friends. When it was still okay to hug. So long, Carl.

A masked, shirtless man just walked past my window THIS IS HOW WE WIN!

Now it appears @RitchieTorres, 32, a gay Afro Latino (1/2 Puerto Rican) Democrat will represent the Bronx in Congress, beating front runner Ruben Diaz Sr., 77, an anti gay, pro Trump Democrat who’s Puerto Rican. Torres succeeds Puerto Rican @RepJoseSerrano

“I know being a cop is hard. But some jobs can’t have bad apples. Some jobs, everybody gotta be good. Like pilots. Ya know, airlines can’t be like ‘Most of our pilots like to land. We just got a few bad apples that like to crash into mountains. Please bear with us.” -Chris Rock

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you throw hot coffee on the face of anyone not wearing a mask.

“It isn’t the end of the world. It is the most remarkable act of global solidarity we may ever witness.”