Patton Oswalt
@pattonoswalt
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Head over to https://t.co/RxSAvjPcdo for tour dates, comics & whatever else I’m working on. I like making stuff. IG, Threads & BlueSky: @pattonoswalt
Los Angeles
Joined May 2010
right wing dudes not being able to get laid became a problem for everyone and now we’re all going to die
Meet Michelle she is stored on a server in Iowa. (Made by my buddy Jeff Dotson)
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You bet we have a library of free comics—no credit card needed. You can read @pattonoswalt, @BlumJordan & Scott Hepburn's Minor Threats 1 💥FREE💥. This @DarkHorseComics masterpiece brings a metric ton of sucker-punch humor and twists to the superhero genre. Link in comments!
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So weird!
Weird how quiet MAGA got about Trump “stopping drugs from pouring into our country” now that he has announced a pardon for the guy who trafficked 400 tons of cocaine into the U.S. What’s the matter shidiots? Cat got yer tongue?
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Bombing boats. Threatening to invade Venezuela. All to “stop drugs.” And now he’s pardoning a man who helped traffic 400 tons of cocaine into the US.
JUST IN: Trump says he’ll issue a “Full and Complete Pardon” to former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernández, convicted of drug trafficking last year in the US and sentenced to 45 years in prison. The most lawless president in history.
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It looks exactly how it tastes. ..and I’ll see YOU at the following shows. Get tickets at the link in my bio and at https://t.co/pOzOz9KrFb ✰DEC 5-6. . . . . . .Atlanta, GA ✰DEC 11-13. . . . .Cincinnati, OH
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They’ve been putting praise break music over kids throwing tantrums on Tik Tok and I’ve been CRYING ALL WEEK. 😂😂😂😂
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The core underlying belief at the heart of all modern right-wing political thought today is that advertisements from the 50s-90s were totally real and that if we are realy, really cruel and try really really really hard we can live in advertisements from the 50s-90s
The core underlying belief at the heart of all left wing political thought today is that this image is evil
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In your 20s and convinced nothing can hurt you? In your 50s and wondering how you ever survived your 20s? Either way, @pattonoswalt’s 10th hour of brand-new comedy, BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER, has you covered.
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Soooo happy I get to be in this hilarious, heartfelt, gorgeous-looking movie! See you guys in February!
He’s about to change the game. From the artists that made KPop Demon Hunters, Spider-Man: Across the #SpiderVerse, and producer Stephen Curry, #GOATmovie is exclusively in movie theatres February 2026.
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Won’t be able to unhear it… Comedian @pattonoswalt & @katienolan come to the realization that the band #Coldplay has ‘hopeful medication commercial’ vibes. 🎧 Listen to Katie's show Fan Service: https://t.co/QwtC5RCcQZ
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Every GOAT's story starts somewhere. From the artists that made KPop Demon Hunters, Spider-Man: Across the #SpiderVerse, and producer Stephen Curry, #GOATmovie is exclusively in movie theatres February 2026.
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He’s about to change the game. From the artists that made KPop Demon Hunters, Spider-Man: Across the #SpiderVerse, and producer Stephen Curry, #GOATmovie is exclusively in movie theatres February 2026.
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Not your average GOAT. From the artists that made KPop Demon Hunters, Spider-Man: Across the #SpiderVerse, and producer Stephen Curry, #GOATmovie is exclusively in movie theatres February 2026. @The_Goat_Movie @SonyPictures
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..and I’ll see YOU at the following shows. Get tickets at the link in my bio and at https://t.co/pOzOz9KrFb ✰DEC 5-6. . . . . . .Atlanta, GA ✰DEC 11-13. . . . .Cincinnati, OH
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Mail order assassination attempts? By extraterrestrial set designers? Come on.
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This entire interview with @pattonoswalt is great, but when he talks about watching 1978 Halloween with his horror fan daughter (6:10) it's something we can all identify with. I laughed hard. #MutantFam #TheLastDriveIn
@therealjoebob @kinky_horror
https://t.co/YAFWjojDYf
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What an incredible day at the @vistahollywood. Three Q&A’s for @runningmanmovie with great crowds and incredible moderators in @rianjohnson, @pattonoswalt and @philiplord. And even a rock star runner in Katy O’Brian. If you came, I hope you had a rip roaring time. Thanks to the
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Hunt. Him. Down. The @RunningManMovie is on the loose on big screens everywhere. Catch him on the largest, loudest screen you can. Enjoy!
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