Hoodlum 🇺🇸
@NotHoodlum
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Commentary • Satirical Emeritus
New York, USA
Joined March 2019
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You wanted a reality show host as a president, well now you’re on Survivor.
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Trump signed a law in 2018 making the removal of classified documents a felony. 😏
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They laughed at a pandemic, mocked wearing masks, pushed false cures and made sure they were the first in line for the vaccine.
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Just for fun make Hillary Clinton Attorney General, so she can lock Trump up. 🔒
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Marjorie Taylor Greene assumed office January 3, 2021, three days later she needed a pardon.
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“Don’t tell me that you remember Sept. 11, 2001. I remember Sept. 11, 2001. But I heard her say she was there that day. I was there that day. I don’t remember seeing Hillary Clinton there.” - Rudy Giuliani
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The Secret Service changed out their White House Agents “in case they were loyal to Trump”. There’s way more to this than we know.
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“Don’t tell me you remember Sept. 11, 2001. I remember Sept. 11, 2001. But I heard her say she was there that day. I was there that day. I don’t remember seeing Hillary Clinton there.” - Rudy Giuliani
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Mama bin Laden’s bail has been revoked. She’ll be transported from Tennessee to DC with her son ZipTie to face federal charges.
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Kanye West says his performance at Coachella hinges on an apology from another headliner: Billie Eilish. She stopped a concert the other night for a fan in distress. Kayne saw this as a snub to Travis Scott. Billie Eilish said nah, they’ll be no apology.
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A dozen companies notified Elon they’ll cease all ads on Twitter, if Trump returns.
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FBI: “We have GPS coordinates of every cellphone inside or around the Capitol. We may not come for you today or tomorrow, but we’ve coming. We guarantee it”.
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Nancy Pelosi was asked if she’s embarrassed the KKK were once members of the Democratic Party. “Of course. We’re embarrassed Donald Trump was a Democrat for similar reasons”.
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Why does BLM have to answer for looters but the NRA never has to answer for mass shootings?
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There’s a woman being held on $500k bail, facing ‘murder charges’ for an ‘illegal abortion’ in Texas right now. Let that sink in…
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Letitia James: “I plan on making the rest of Donald Trump’s life miserable.”
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If Matt Gaetz has nothing to hide, he’ll turn over his phone to the authorities to verify his calls during the riot.
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23 minutes after becoming President, Biden demanded the resignation of Trump’s Peter Robb, the notoriously anti-union general counsel of the NLRB. Robb refused, Biden fired him. Alice Stock, assumed the role, Biden demanded her resignation, she also refused, he fired her too.
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Jared Kushner set up a shell company with Lara Trump and Mike Pence’s nephew John Pence, raking in $617 million dollars. But let’s talk about Hunter Biden.
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Koko the gorilla passed the same cognitive tests Trump’s been bragging about, except using sign language.
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General Mills, CVS, United Airlines, GM, Audi, Mazda, Porsche, VW, American Express, Coca-Cola, Johnson & Johnson, Levi Strauss, Spotify, Ford, Dyson, Forbes, DIRECTV, Nintendo, Unilever, and PBS have all suspended ads on Twitter.
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Lauren Boebert’s landlord refused to renew her lease, Shooter’s Grill is officially closed.
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“Under trump gas prices were …”
Under trump, we had refrigerated trailers used as morgues at hospitals and nurses wearing garbage bags.
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Did you notice Lauren Boebert was losing until the final batches of ballots and no one was screaming rigged?
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Remember all the MAGAs saying “Well, he doesn’t take a salary”. It turns out he certainly did take it
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The GOP just canceled $10 million in fall ads for Senate in PA, AZ and WI. This is a clear sign of financial problems. Hardest hit was PA, more than $5 million in Philly alone. They’ve given up on Oz.
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We have found the voter fraud. It’s the GOP.
Republican Judge Tomas ‘Tommy’ Ramirez III was arrested along with three other people on 150 counts of voter fraud. They’re accused of multiple charges including ballot harvesting at nursing homes in South Texas.
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Susan Collins: “I was very concerned, so I spoke with Clarence and Ginni Thomas. They apologized for trying to overthrow the government, and told me they won’t do it again. I believe they’re learned their lesson.”
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Rudy Giuliani’s son Andrew gets $90,700 a year as Sports Liaison for the White House. His job is coordinating professional athletes visiting Trump. His relevant experience? He golfs.
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Checkmate: After the Supreme Crazies threw-out NYC gun laws, New York passed the most restrictive gun laws in the country - for the entire state.
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"Rep. Gaetz can leave his beauty bag at home. In Wyoming, the men don’t wear make-up.” - Liz Cheney
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CANCELED: Trump rally in NC due to “unforeseen circumstances”. Trump, Trump Jr. & Ivanka ordered to testify to Leticia James’ office on Friday. Tickets were sold up to $3,995. No refunds are available, they can be used on Aug. 20 in Milwaukee, WI.
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“I spoke to President Trump today and he agreed not to sell anymore classified information to our enemies. I believe he’s learned his lesson.” - Susan Collins (R-Mars)
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BREAKING: Scott Baio and Kevin Sorbo buy TruthSocial for $50 in all cash deal.
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Chris Ruddy owner of Newsmax claims it’s worth over $200 million, Dominion got the greenlight to sue them for $1.6 Billion, do the math.
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BREAKING: Elon Musk buys the US Supreme Court from the GOP.
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Tiffany’s announced they will not be renewing their $7 million dollar annual lease with The Trump Organization. That will leave them with an empty ground floor retail location located around the corner from its marquee Trump Tower.
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NEW: John Eastman loses emergency request to protect his phone data from DOJ investigators.
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The Uvalde Mayor is tired of “the bullshit leaks”. Imagine how tired parents are burying their children?
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A young girl was lost, so she approached “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” star Mariska Hargitay believing she was a real-life cop. Hargitay shutdown production and helped the little girl.
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Trump: “We’ll release the voter fraud proof with the Coronavirus vaccine and my taxes, in about 2 weeks”.
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The FBI calls and advises you to leave your house for safety because the president put your life in danger. Everything is wrong with this.
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Sean Hannity’s former wife, Jill Rhodes: “It wasn’t his politics, but listening to Sean and the president having phone sex for 4 years, gets very tiresome”.
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Tommy Tuberville on Biden’s Europe trip: “I’m afraid he’s going to fall down every time I turn on television.”
Here’s Tommy ….
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The Supreme Court can invest in bulletproof robes, like the children’s backpacks.
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Bronx man tackled, beaten and called a migrant shoplifter by Curtis Sliwa and ‘The Guardian Angels’ during a stunt on the Hannity show is filing both criminal and civil charges.
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“As Christians, we found the Hunter Biden laptop photos disturbing.” - Jerry Falwell Jr.
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DC RUMORS: Two of trump’s head ferrets have flipped and are cooperating with the DOJ.
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I’ve been to Newsmax, QANN and Fox - no one has the inauguration on?
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I love that Trump introduced Kelly Loeffler as ‘Karen’. Absolutely perfect.👌
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Herschel Walker is leading by 3 points in a new poll. How is this possible? Who in their right mind would vote for him?
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Stop calling them Protestors. Protestors don’t carry AK-47s, wave confederate and Nazi flags, block hospital entrances and scream at medical professionals “To go back to China”. They’re terrorists.
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Captain Crazypants has posted 37 times on TrumpSocial in the past hour. 🤣
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Captain Crazypants has posted 29 times on TrumpSocial in the past 60 minutes.
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Stop saying Trump mishandled documents, he was told not to take them, he did, they subpoenaed them, he kept what he wanted. He stole them and a search warrant was issued. Period.
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After almost 40 Trump posts on Veteran’s Day, Veteran was never mentioned once.
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They went from Senior White House Advisors to children, faster than a Fox Caravan.
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Kayne West is removed from his home state of Illinois’ ballot, after determining over 1900 signatures were invalid.
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The Supreme Court rejected appeals from three Republicans who challenged fines for refusing to wear masks on the House floor. Thomas Massie (KY), Ralph Norman (SC) and Marjorie Taylor Greene (GA).
MTG now owes in excess of $80,000.00 in fines.
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“There is no pandemic”.
- Herman Cain
“There is no Herman Cain”
- Coronavirus
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Ann Coulter “Obama was the most articulate president we’ve probably ever had. Trump has a vocabulary of 50 words.”
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BREAKING: Deutsche Bank complied with the subpoena and surrendered Trump’s financials to NY Prosecutors in Criminal Investigation.
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DC Park Service says less than 12,000 people showed up for Trump’s “Million MAGA March. No wonder they think they won the election, they can’t count.
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Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has ordered hundreds of Pentagon advisory board members to resign, purging several dozen last-minute appointments under Trump. Forced to resign Newt Gingrich, retired Brig. Gen. Anthony Tata and Corey Lewandowski.
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“And if I lose to Joe Biden, you’ll never hear from me again.” - said the guy we can’t get rid of.
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John Schneider is insisting he never threatened the life of Joe Biden, but the Secret Service isn’t having it. They opened an investigation into Schneider’s online threats earlier today.
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Why did Mo Brooks wear a bulletproof vest on 1/6? It’s not like he was going into an elementary school.
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Donald Trump was commentator for Holyfield vs. Belfort, it lasted 81 seconds - Stormy Daniels said “That’s about right.”
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Madison Cawthorn claims he hid weapons in his wheelchair on J6, Mo Brooks wore a bulletproof vest, Boebert tweeted, “The Speaker has been removed from the chambers.” Ginni Thomas confirms she was at the Insurrection, everything is wrong with this.
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No one screams ‘socialist’ at Senior Citizens for their Social Security checks. Roads, bridges and tunnels are not communism. Stop using fear tactics because you have no policy.
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Take it from Mike he knows. His last boss tried to get him murdered.
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Meet Bruce Bartman, of Delaware County, PA. He voted for Trump then registered his mom for an absentee ballot. She voted for Trump too, except she’s been dead 12 years. Bartman pled guilty to two felonies, now he can’t vote anymore.
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Remember the Russian Bounties? Trump figured if he beat the shit out of your mother you’d forget about it.
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Palm Beach police report an escaped dementia patient throwing paper towels into the ocean and threatening to nuke Hurricane Ian.
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This is Terrorist Kyle Rittenhouse as a child. His parents should be charged as well.
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Yesterday was the first time in US history that a trial was held at the actual crime scene.
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“I spoke with former president Trump and he promised he won’t try to have Mike Pence whacked again.” - Susan Collins
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Remember they booed Trump at the World Series yelling Lock him up and he cried?
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Someone ask DeSantis why the five white residents of ‘The Villages’ charged with felony voter fraud were allowed to turn themselves in without the videos?
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The average donation to Trump’s $250 Million Slush Fund was $17. It’s not the wealthy that he’s fleecing.
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Trump gets to watch the building of Biden’s inauguration platform everyday.
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The Kremlin website goes down as Russian TV channels ‘hacked to play Ukrainian songs’.
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Let’s hide the Secret Service paychecks and they can try to find them. Fair is fair.
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The heat is on. Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen asked back for 8th interview in NYC’s criminal probe.
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In another plot twist, the former Mrs. Madison Cawthorn can now testify against Madison.
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“A werewolf can kill a vampire, did you know that? I never knew that. So I don’t want to be a vampire anymore, I want to be a werewolf.” - Herschel Walker
Yes Georgia, this man is running for Senate.
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JUST IN: Judge Juan Merchan doubles his gag order. “While it is Mr. Trump’s right to sleep through his trial, his snoring and farting will not be tolerated. Jurors and court personnel have the right to a noxious-free environment.”
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When the families of law enforcement refuse to shake your hand — you’re not the party of law & order.
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Sean Hannity: “I decided to take the rest of the year off to spend more time with my family of defense attorneys.”
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Herschel: “A lot of people don’t know it, but I was in charge of 6 hospitals.”
A lot of people don’t know it because you just made that up. Pathological liar.
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BREAKING: The Taliban filed suit against the GOP for copyright infringement.
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