Today marks 1.5 years since my
#LongCOVID
started. To give you a perspective of my short term situation - every day my one and only goal is not to kill myself as the suffering is still unbearable. On top of this I got a relapse of one my worst symptoms and it won’t let up…
Before I got
#LongCovid
I was in the best shape of my life. Running two successful businesses, swimming multiple times a week, walking my dog and generally feeling great. This disease has stolen everything from me and mostly my brain. Just waiting for the day to end… every day.
Today was my last day as an MD of the company we founded 13 years ago and poured immense efforts in.
#LongCovid
took everything from me - my work, my relationships, my livelihood and mostly - my dignity. It’s not something you can live with and the end is near.
My friends and family won’t allow me to apply for assisted suicide this year and they are forcing me to start therapy. I love them immensely and I know they are worried about me but I can’t be left suffering like this. I am not depressed, I’m profoundly sick with
#LongCovid
3 terrible years of
#LongCovid
for me today. 1095 days of unimaginable hell. I really can’t take it anymore. I did my best, but everything has boundaries and limits. I’ve contacted an assisted suicide organization and I’m hoping for approval. See you on the other side I guess.
It’s my birthday today. My second one with
#LongCovid
. I was 32 and full of life when this shit show started. I’m turning 34 today. Really thought I would be recovered by now but yet here I am, watching life passing me by and feeling soulless, like a shadow of what I was…
It’s my fuckin’ birthday. 3rd one with
#LongCovid
. Turning 35 today, there probably won’t be a 36th. The only gift I want is to either recover or pass away peacefully. I’m not celebrating 35 years of being alive, but 3 years of being dead. This is not a life worth living.
People seem to think that
#LongCOVID
is not so bad because the media portrays it as “lingering” symptoms, some fatigue and brain fog but the reality is so much crueler. It’s an ongoing horrible disease that makes it impossible to function as a human being. People need to know.
@Kit_Yates_Maths
@EndemicPrepared
If anybody could “feel”
#LongCOVID
for an hour, they would wear N95’s for the rest of their lives and avoid
#Covid
like the plague that it is. Even if they knew how common it is, media portrays it as something mild, “lingering symptoms” while in fact it’s not a livable condition.
Although I didn’t die from
#COVID19
15 months ago, I am still not alive either after developing
#LongCovid
which I promise you is not just “lingering symptoms” but a daily torture I wouldn’t wish to my worst enemy. We need urgent biomedical research.
#ResearchLongCovid
#pwLC
The tricky part about
#LongCOVID
is that it’s very hard to comprehend it happens to you because sometimes it’s so severe that you can’t believe your body would allow it long term. It feels like you will either die or recover, but instead you are stuck in a near-death limbo.
I’ve come to terms that I might never create a family because of
#LongCovid
. I’m single and I don’t think it’s moral to bring anybody to this hell even willingly. Not to mention creating life. It’s hard but at some point you just accept it.
#NEISvoid
I loathe every second of my existence with
#LongCOVID
. There’s no amount of “small wins”, “baby steps”, “positive thinking” or whatever that can compensate for the daily inhumane symptoms of this horrendous disease. I just want my life back.
#TreatLongCovid
I gave up on the medical community a long time ago, they don’t have anything for us
#LongCovid
people. Although I have many objective reasons to be sick, which are clearly visible on tests, they still shrug me off with the anxiety/depression BS.
Are you still going to doctors?
With
#LongCOVID
the main resource you are losing is time. You can earn money, but you can’t earn more time. All the years wasted in sickness will never be back. During this illness, my friends made families, kids and careers while the lives of people with long covid are on pause.
Possible biomarkers for
#LongCovid
:
- Spike Protein in the Blood
- MicroClots
- Neurotoxic Peptides
FFS why is nobody researching those vigorously. It shouldn’t be that hard…
It’s a beautiful spring here. People are enjoying themselves outside, meanwhile I am researching the cost of assisted suicide in Switzerland. Nearly no other options left. This is not a bearable way to live.
#LongCovid
#TreatLongCovid
#NEISvoid
#ResearchLongCovid
Cuz
#LongCovid
is “aNxIeTy” and “dEpReSsIOn”.
Me: “So do you want a bit of my blood?”
Them: “No thanks, it is dangerous!”
What are you afraid of then? Getting anxious?
For about 1.5 years with
#LongCovid
I wasn’t able to watch TV. It was awful because I was a movie junkie once and that was a big mental pain. The only thing I could do was stare at the ceiling pointlessly. Today I can watch but don’t enjoy it. It’s still pain. Can you watch TV?
@FoggBrain
I can’t even believe that my body is actually capable of producing so much suffering.
I don’t have tremors, shake and insomnia but the despair and terror feelings are very familiar. Terrible as everything with this sickness.
Because it’s simply unbearable. And without any treatments, medical help and years spent in illness, that starts to seem like the only logical choice to end the suffering.
#LongCovid
#Suicide
#NEISvoid
What I probably miss the most of my pre-
#LongCovid
life is the simple feeling of comfort. Haven’t felt it in 17 months even for a second. With this illness you are always feeling discomfortable and have to endure something at all times. It’s cruel and discouraging.
#NEISvoid
Achievement unlocked. 1000 days with
#LongCovid
for me today. 1,440,000 minutes, 86,400,000 seconds of inhumane suffering without a single moment of relief. To say it’s brutal is an understatement. We
#LongCovid
people are fuckin’ heroes.
I made a video trying to illustrate what the
#LongCOVID
brain fog feels like for me every day for 18 months. It can’t encompass it fully as it can’t show the terrible super sick feeling that accompanies it, but it’s quite close to reality. Sound on for tinnitus 🥹
@LLMN80
Doom scrolling is not great, but with no medical assistance at all and widespread disbelief, the online communities seem like the only place where you can find support and not feel alone in the suffering. Reddit and Twitter have kept me sane during this.
Made it to the beach this year. Trip was hard but it’s worth it. It’s definitely better to feel crappy on the seaside. It’s not the same with
#LongCovid
but still somehow enjoyable.
People truly don’t realize how life-ruining
#LongCovid
is. Besides the obvious constant suffering, you slowly lose your social contacts, your career, the ability to create or care for a family, financial stability, daily small joys and the list goes on and on. It’s not the flu.
Dear
#LongCovid
folks, I hope you finally tried yoga and are now cured of your incurable biomedical multi-system and severe disease.
Sincerely,
All The Healthy People
@RosarioNeaves
That it’s not a livable condition. Media are often mentioning vaguely “fatigue”, “brain fog” and the narrative overall suggests that it is a mild condition while in reality it’s a severe one and torturous to live with.
@LindseyHodgson4
Do you have family you can rely on? In my most suicidal times I moved in with my parents and that was probably a decision that saved my life. I’m 33 and super independent pre-covid so it was very hard on my pride but there’s nothing shameful if you actually need help.
I just realized government
#LongCovid
budgets for research are practically $0 this year… like everywhere in the world and people are still telling me “have faith”. We don’t need f*ckin’ faith, we need $ and recognition. We need someone to care but nobody does, obviously.
I tweet about
#LongCovid
not because I like it but because this sickness becomes your whole life. There’s barely enough space for anything else. Believe me, you don’t want this. It’s all fun and games until you get it and are lost probably for life. Mask up.
#TreatLongCovid
If I had to describe
#LongCovid
as a movie, it would be a mix between Groundhog Day and Saw. Every day is the same and you play a dangerous ungodly game which involves a lot of suffering. What are your
#LongCovid
movies?
TRIGGER WARNING
When I talk about suicide with people around me, they kind of shrug me off and don’t believe me, or at least most of them. What they don’t know is that I am practically dead, my life ended on 07 Dec 2020 so suicide or not, simply doesn’t make a difference.
@urbanmel
@AaronCa11
I so wish I was able to pivot somehow, but my brain is fried on so many levels, that’s why my companies are on the brink of default - I just can’t manage stuff as I used to. Wish you luck though!
#LongCovid
friends, retweeting this meme to check if anybody sees my tweets at all since I think the Twitter algo suppresses them somehow and they go to the
#NEISvoid
. Hit like if you see it.
Writing this tweet just as a reminder that the pandemic is still not over whatever you think. I know I’m probably just screaming in the void, but you don’t want
#LongCovid
. For me personally and for millions more, this outcome of a
#covid
infection is way worse than dead.
@DiaryofaSickGrl
The other thing normal people don’t realize is that you have to “push through” every fuckin’ day for years or possibly decades. It’s not like we don’t want to but it’s freaking exhausting to be in survival mode all the time.
Before
#LongCovid
, I was able to just relax at my place, watch a movie or listen to music and actually enjoy it. Now, every second of every day I feel tortured and not comfortable in my skin and mind, I feel dead inside, like my soul has been sucked and killed.
Day 619 with
#LongCovid
. Today at dinner will be the 1238th time that I feel sick, severely brain fogged and anxious with no obvious reason except putting food in my mouth, not counting the rest of the symptoms. 891,360 minutes of inhumane suffering.
#NEISvoid
#TreatLongCovid
@MeetJess
Great… covid basically infects our immune systems and there’s still people that compare it with the flu. Not the news I wanted to hear today 🥹
I’m having a “good”
#LongCovid
day. In such a day every normal and sane person would rush to ER or at least doctor’s office, thinking something horrible is happening. For me and for the millions more
#pwLC
it’s just the daily drill. You finish up your supplements and move on.
@angelMsattya
It’s definitely real and not just “stress”. My life has always been very stressful but I never had deliriums out of nowhere. People were told MS was psycho-somatic until they invented the MRI so hopefully they will find a reliable biomarker soon.
@D_Bone
So true. I started to feel uncomfortable around healthy people. My family insists that I should socialize more, but when I do I feel even worse because watching other people have normal non-torturous lives breaks my heart a little every time.
Retweeting an old meme, because I noticed I’m losing followers on Instagram because of my
#LongCovid
stories. I’m not posting obsessively. 3-4 times a month and mostly memes and some rage here and there, but for everybody “covid is over” and they don’t care about us, do they?
I honestly don’t know how am I keep going and living like this. Sorry my bad, not living but just existing pointlessly day to day in a constant state of torture.
#LongCovid
Made it to the seaside this year. Too bad I can’t enjoy it as I used to, but at least the suffering is dulled down by the sunshine and the breeze so I will take that as a small win.
#LongCovid
@makeupartist524
Completely “normal” stuff lol. Don’t know where this world is going since medical professionals started normalizing not recognizing yourself in the mirror.
Living in a dumb country 101.
My companies have poured millions in taxes and social securities, but now I can’t get a single penny from the government.
No disability for
#LongCovid
, not entitled to unemployment benefits. I can weather years on my own, but it’s the principle.
@tarry_rope
@LeoMolloyNZ
Yeah, my life’s goal as an entrepreneur for more than a decade was to lay in bed all day and suffer… that’s what all people want in life.
So what’s up with
#LongCovid
and eating? My biggest trigger is food whatever it is. Every time I eat I get terrible drugged feeling with tinnitus and visual issues. I’ve heard from so many people that food leads to bad stuff. Is somebody looking into this?
I still can’t accept that there’s diseases that are more unbelievable but are perceived as real, patients are treated with dignity, while
#pwLC
are ridiculed.
What sounds more “real” - blurting random curse words(Tourettes) or having a nonstop delirium(LC)?
Make it make sense.
This is how
@StabilityAI
imagines a person with
#LongCovid
. We may not look like this on the outside but it sure feels the same as the visual on the inside. We need help.
@anaestricks
If I had to guess, China knows about
#LongCovid
and the long term effects of the virus and they don’t wanna jeopardize and mass disable their workforce as that’s their primary economic vehicle.
@healingfromlc
I feel you dude… had one of my closest friends tell me “we are all dealing with something, you have to push through somehow” because he was overwhelmed at work… well yes but no, you are not dealing with an incurable, unexplainable, debilitating disease that has ruined your life
@NickGuthe
Thanks Nick. I know their lives will never be the same but I just can’t stand the suffering anymore, it’s been 20 months of daily dread… I’m holding as much as I can but after so long your soul breaks at some point.
@ClinicLyme
Brain Fog, Malaise/Poisoned Feeling, Altered Consciousness, GI Issues, Depression, Anxiety Attacks/Adrenaline Surges, Diziness After Eating, Drugged Feeling and some more minor ones
With
#LongCOVID
may be the second best thing, besides recovering, that can happen to you is to just never wake up one day. I wholeheartedly dream about it every time I go to sleep.
Yes, it’s that bad and its everyday.
#NEISvoid
#TreatLongCovid
@i_petersen
Horrible chronic illness is not a narrative but a reality and fact of life we are forced to live with. Connecting in Social Media is one of the very few ways to build a community of people that actually understand this disease as obviously professionals don’t have a clue.
#LongCovid
folks, has somebody tried to source Paxovir (the generic version of Paxlovid) from Bangladesh to try and treat this illness? What was your experience and how you did it?
I don’t know how much more I can live like this. Today I was at a beach bar drinking coffee. I got super dizzy to the point I couldn’t stand up. Somehow I got up and headed home but I had to crawl my way out from the beach to boardwalk on four legs. It was embarrassing
#LongCovid
@sebdave23
Stay strong man and please don’t do it like this! The first 6mo - 1y are usually the hardest and I know how you feel, I was daily suicidal for 2 years. I was also very severe and didn’t see any other options, but I got better at 2 years and so can you!
It’s a myth that tests with
#LongCovid
are always normal. At least for me, after 2.5y I have chronic:
- Leukocytosis
- Low Lymphocytes
- High Cholesterol
- WMHs In My Brain
- Severe Hypercortisolism
- Leukocytes In My Urine
- Blood In My Urine
“It’s just a cold”
#MedTwitter
@positivepolly06
I’ve improved a lot. I was severe in the beginning went through moderate and now I would say I’m mild most days but it’s still quite unbearable although better.
@healingfromlc
There’s no grace in
#LongCovid
. You know how well known writers or artists had a great tragedy or sickness that has shaped their talent? LongCovid doesn’t allow you even this, you can’t live with dignity when you get it.
The public genuinely doesn’t know how bad
#LongCOVID
can be. People are killing themselves like flies because the suffering is unbearable and can’t be described with words. There’s no treatment, there’s no cure. We are on our own.
It bugs my mind that just a single individual as
@elonmusk
is able to pull $44bn to buy essentially a website/app while some governments manage to invest only mere two digit millions in
#LongCovid
which is a global mass disabling event. What would you do if you had $44bn?
@RogerSeheult
My prescription for Long COVID
1) Force governments to invest in actual research of the condition
2) Educate MDs so they don’t post bs opinions on Twitter without any konwledge of LC
3) Tip off big pharma companies that they can make billions and billions out of it
@vincentrutgers
I’ve already tried multiple SSRIs, SNRIs as well as other off-label psych meds and I’m still on them. They don’t help, if they did Long Covid would not be a problem overall.
@sarahlhalprin
Hey Sarah thank you for the kind words and sorry to hear for you struggles :/ Unfortunately Long Covid is not a livable condition, I can endure a lot but this thing is out of this world…
@bahtistuta
@FarazFallahi
This video literally makes me wanna cry. No kid should go through this fuckin hell with no help at all. At least us older
#pwLC
had a childhood. Hang in there Olivia, hope that you get better soon!
It’s
#Easter
. For nearly everyone else it’s a holiday and time for rest and good times. For people with
#LongCovid
it’s just another torturous day you have to go through without killing yourself. There’s no weekends or holidays. There’s no break. RT if you can relate.
#NEISvoid