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Jake Profile
Jake

@CFCJake23

Followers
212
Following
168
Media
758
Statuses
4,395

🙂‍↕️🫳🔫

Virginia, USA
Joined July 2014
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@CFCJake23
Jake
5 days
Chelsea FC - All Premier League goals 2023/24
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@CFCJake23
Jake
14 days
Why is basmati always at the scene of the crime man
@CFCPys
Pys
14 days
Pochettino liked Palmer’s IG post
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@CFCJake23
Jake
22 days
Do you guys think every good team just goes a full 90 without mistakes lol the crying is insufferable
@Chels3609
Chelseaa
22 days
What is actually wrong with Madueke? confused and confusing footballer 😕
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@itsmeheauxxx @theCoolestLame3 @_TaBoris That's because you don't have a point
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@CFCJake23
Jake
12 days
@Antonio647901 @Ozarkiarki @Zhane_Star The kid was 100% acting, but idk if the guy raging is 😭😭😭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
@285Slim This is like saying "name three of their songs" when a woman wears a band tee
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@baskgod "do his ass cuh" reminded me of this classic vine
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@CFCJake23
Jake
29 days
@cliqueminaj @chartdata @tommyrichmann Someone who's allowed near schools now move along
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
Imma be so honest rn, Chelsea's biggest accounts are such annoying bots. They genuinely ruin the discourse around the entire club because they generate the most interactions and it's all over dumb shit like CHO revisionism, slating whatever player is this week's scapegoat, or
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@goober99261 Future has NEVER had a 0 skip project. And that's ok. He's solidified his place, but he's just not an artist to put together a flawless album lol
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@CFCJake23
Jake
14 days
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@CFCJake23
Jake
16 days
@cutTHRUyou @CowsMooingNSuch @floriyrobin It's been so long that they don't even recognize seasoning when it's right in front of them
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
I miss him every day 🕊️
@nemaccer
🦅
2 months
“I miss him” and it’s just a sports player
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@iamcobbina Someone finally used this line and it wasn't just 5 or more Indian people existing
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
The pinnacle of human perseverance
@LakeShowYo
LakeShowYo
3 months
“What about the fans that saved up to watch me play just once?” - Kobe on why he played through injuries
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@FabrizioRomano @tombogert I'd say Pulisic won that debate 🤭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@JOSSHHAS_ @iamcobbina The speed on the deflection goal ALWAYS kills me 😭😭😭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@splungekik @daehatesyou @JINKIESBTCH I'd assume somewhere in Arlington Texas
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
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@CFCJake23
Jake
27 days
Pulisic rn
@MilanPosts
Milan Posts
27 days
📰 @caughtoffside : AC Milan have included #Tuchel in their shortlist of candidates to succeed #Pioli .
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@CFCJake23
Jake
16 days
@Trey_Explainer Dogs too lol
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@CFCJake23
Jake
7 days
@juleesssy @FunnisMonkis Touch a job application
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@CFCJake23
Jake
11 days
@Iewdawg First tweet to make me laugh irl in a while
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
@6IANNIS Gah damn
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
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@CFCJake23
Jake
11 days
@TacticalPystake Word for word bar for bar 😭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
14 days
@chelseadeluxe Hahaha I think it's just England/him low-key being Chels but it is a bit odd. I don't hate him tho I know a lot of people seem to 😭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
16 days
@Ifcelliot That "rusty" gk hasn't conceded since returning and the last CL they won he dropped an all timer...
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@CFCJake23
Jake
19 days
@windupgorilla @rachelmillman And you DIDN'T take a video to share with us? Childish.
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
Whole TL agreeing Hazard > Salah rn God is GREAT
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@MauricioPanini Honest to God, there's very little reason to dislike him for his own actions. The main reasons people complain about him are him starting every match and fans overrating him. I don't love the hate people send at him, the dog jokes are funny and I understand people not rating him
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@CFCJake23
Jake
23 days
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
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@CFCJake23
Jake
29 days
@MinajNoire @cliqueminaj @chartdata @tommyrichmann My granny alive unlike Nicki Minaj's career, thats why I haven't heard a track of hers in 10 years but I hear about her beefing with a new female rapper every week 💀💀💀
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@mfdoomstan1 How is Denzel supporting lol
@mfdoomstan1
doomstan1
2 months
am i reaching or did denzel curry just diss kendrick lamar???? what the fuck has happened to the rap game 😭😭😭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@LeanandCuisine He's just a better rapper with *slightly* less popularity. Drakes beefs that he's won (aside from meek) have just been him posting memes on IG and his fans talking about ratings
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@bozknowsball @statmusefc 4/7 of them are vs your club 😭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@LeanandCuisine Me pulling up on the first clothed thing I see
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@CFCJake23
Jake
12 days
@Iewdawg Vegas in his ear like
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@CFCJake23
Jake
15 days
@JozuJoestar Shuffled 4 defenders in a row out the way
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@CFCJake23
Jake
25 days
@CFCPys Does he just stream on twitch and yap? How are there so many new quotes so often😭
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@CFCJake23
Jake
29 days
@MinajNoire @cliqueminaj @chartdata @tommyrichmann A 𝔑𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔦 𝔐𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔧 𝔰𝔬𝔫𝔤 sounds like 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔞𝔰𝔰 to me! 🤪
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@CFCJake23
Jake
24 days
Poch saying the owners don't communicate and that they've already discussed preseason in the same day
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@CFCJake23
Jake
19 days
that last sentence is wild lmao MJ really the 2nd most famous human ever
@notgwendalupe
popculture
19 days
megan eventually was cornered and shown the picture, she apologized to harvey and tried to book a meet up with him in new york. the plan eventually felt short, since megan's nyc trip had to be cancelled in light of michael jackson's death
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
Genuinely the 2nd smartest player I've seen on a pitch other than Messi. His decision making very rarely let him down.
@AtomicCFC
ً
1 month
This is how to ball out against West Ham @MoSalah
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@CFCJake23
Jake
25 days
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@MrBadog @paulpierce34 This narrative is so corny imo, why would people wanna go the Dame route we all saw that didn't work lol
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@CFCJake23
Jake
27 days
@Chris493113 @bradholmes4prez hey gramps what was the library of Alexandria like?
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
THREE MONTHS? I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BULK MY WHOLE DAMN ADULT LIFE AND I'M STILL BUILT LIKE THE FUCKING PIXAR LAMP
@topwhite8
k
3 months
January 2024 vs March 2024 never stop grinding 💪
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@Tounareghaf @Son_ImSleep Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Chief Keef ain’t bout this, Chief Keef ain’t bout that My boy a BD on fucking Lamron and them He, he they say
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
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@CFCJake23
Jake
22 days
@dzoesef I'm not saying it isn't a mistake or it doesn't look bad, it's just that EVERY player bar the most elite ones will do shit like this at some point
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@CFCCentral3
CFC Central
1 month
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@CFCJake23
Jake
14 days
@TenHagEra 🙂‍↕️🫳🔫
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@ArminCFC_ If Hazard was able to pick his head up and turn, you were already dead (if you ignore the dross his passes would fall to)
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
This guy is such a beg man, you switched fanbases because United have 0 juice rn, how does anyone take you even remotely seriously
@Mike_RMCF
Mike
1 month
Wirtz this, Foden that. Shut the fuck up.
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@CFCJake23
Jake
22 days
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@RodrigoRodders
Rodrigo Rodders
22 days
@CFCNoni Yup he was a back pass merchant when he joined us it took a lot of good coaching to bring his inner talent out now you see him balling 💪
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@CFCJake23
Jake
29 days
Dawg the hidden replies on tomisin tweets are a gold mine, even when he's reasonable 😭😭😭
@tomisinpacked
tomisin
29 days
I seriously don’t believe in beating a child for you to train them.
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@bozknowsball @statmusefc Don't care + didn't ask + What would Bruno's rep be without all those pens in his first season?
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
We have evolved past the need for "Frank Khalid"
@iamcobbina
Brendan Cobbina
2 months
Brendan Cobbina with the WWE title however….
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
Of all the people to blindly try this on, oh boy did you get it wrong 😭
@Ebk_DK
..
2 months
@iamcobbina Never stepped in a gym in your life 🤣🤣🤣
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@CFCJake23
Jake
16 days
Misha is so likeable man I desperately want him to succeed here 😭
@95frann
Fran
16 days
Mudryk indo até ele pra se despedir 🥺💙
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@CFCJake23
Jake
13 days
In case some of us haven't figured it out yet, 90% of these headlines are complete guesses. Just enjoy everything else in life you've got 2 more months until preseason lol
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
Had to throw the jacket on so nobody knows it's got H*vertz on the back
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@CFCJake23
Jake
22 days
Malo Gusto is levels clear and our 2nd best crosser hope this helps!
@_bluescfc
TRUST THE PROCESS (_bluescfc)
22 days
Wait why is no one complaining Gusto played RW? But complained Chilwell played LW? 😂
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@victoricruzz @Variety We aren't buying it + fuck Israel + get a better camera
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@CFCJake23
Jake
10 days
😌
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@CFCJake23
Jake
10 days
First day on the water this year today 🫡
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@bozknowsball @statmusefc United fans when they call Chelsea shit and Chelsea fans agree
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
@Iewdawg They didn't even get his big game gene either 😂😂😂
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
Idiots on the Internet when they learn Russians can be good people even though their government bad
@ndboulton
Микола Болтенко
1 month
Full Story: we need a VISA ban for all russians across the world
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
The microorganisms that ain't seen any action since the dinosaurs
@NoContextHumans
Out of Context Human Race
2 months
The freshest drinking water on the planet💧
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
Not at all an exaggerating to say he is the Ronaldinho of this generation. If you fell in love with football between 2011-2020, he most likely played a role in that. He's almost unanimously liked by everyone.
@feroze17
Feroze Ali
2 months
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
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@CFCJake23
Jake
8 days
@CarefreeAdz @MaxLondonsFirst No way after the way he's behaved the 2nd half of this season lol
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@CFCJake23
Jake
24 days
J5 fans be even remotely likeable challenge
@juicyjorginho5
🧃.
24 days
@ 5.55pm
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@CFCJake23
Jake
28 days
Makes you deep just how horrendous Sterling was at times lol
@MozoFootball
Mozo Football
28 days
🇺🇦 Mykhailo Mudryk has registered 50+ successful final third passes (56) for Chelsea this season in the Premier League. Only Cole Palmer has registered more (62) than Mudryk. #CFC #CHELSEA
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@CFCJake23
Jake
29 days
The (50) Million Dollar Baby
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
@FabrizioRomano @tombogert Tweeting this has reminded me how insufferable Mexican football fans are on here 😬 "they both suck" one was contributing to trophies while the other had more of a place in Twitter debates than in his own club. One left for AC Milan, the other the MLS. There's levels to this.
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@CFCJake23
Jake
27 days
@ArchieStanding @centregoals @beINSPORTS It's 3D. The line is vertical, look at De Ligt.
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
Absolutely fucking devastated. Thank you for being the best dog Manny, I love you forever 💙
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@CFCJake23
Jake
24 days
Banger, but Enzo's free kick was better and imo the peak of our season
@tsilvathegoat6
thiagosilvathegoat
25 days
I still haven’t seen a better goal scored by a midfielder this season
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
A year ago today I decided I was leaving someone who abused me, I was at my absolute lowest point as a human. Being alone is a million times better than being lonely around someone you're giving everything to.
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
IG comments are genuinely one of the worst places you can find yourself
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@CFCJake23
Jake
1 month
7 players in the final third, all stagnant and ball watching with their back to goal. That's one of the biggest and loudest alarms that the manager does not know how to set up an attack.
@EastStandBen
Ben
1 month
I found it so funny when Enzo did this
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@CFCJake23
Jake
3 months
I know Twitter is a generally miserable place, but I really do love the little circles I've got on here and the fun we all have joking around and shit. You guys all make my days better.
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
Got my hair cut which means it will be short for approximately one (1) week and then it'll need cut again
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@CFCJake23
Jake
2 months
Bro look at Havertz pressing 😭
@Official_Benji_
𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙞𝙁𝘾𝘽 ¹⁷
2 months
Neuer mal kurz auf lässig 🤙
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@CFCJake23
Jake
24 days
@fadule_ @user0000O0 This is psychological addiction, not chemical. It can happen with anything lol
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@CFCJake23
Jake
22 days
Feel like the severity of injuries, surgeries and rehabilitation is so understated. A lot of these dudes will never walk the same after they retire
@centregoals
CentreGoals.
22 days
🩼😣 Presnel Kimpembe reveals the extent of his latest injury: an Achilles tendon rupture that has sidelined him for over 400 days. The image captures the back of his foot, stitched up. Wishing him strength during his recovery. 🙏
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@CFCJake23
Jake
7 days
Shooters shoot
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@CFCJake23
Jake
22 days
Private QRT... Show yourself!
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@CFCJake23
Jake
22 days
@RapidRover99 @KUSH23TV_ Where was Salah from age 17-24? I can easily tell you where Hazard was and THAT is longevity, don't try these fugazi narratives with me.
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