If you want high testosterone and peace of mind through the roof:. -never gossip.-avoid people who complain.-don’t get drunk or high with anyone who isn’t doing well in life.-stop messaging a rotation of 7 different girls (pick the one you’d be pumped to bring to your cool.

Hangover cure:. -Sun (25 minutes).-black coffee.-hit the gym.-is this the best lift of your life certainly not but it saves you.-decline your shady friend’s invite to rip bong with him and his “homie”.-go to your popular cousin’s house 9 years older than you for his girlfriend’s.

The plan:. -hit the gym with your boys then grill steaks at their apartment rooftop.-baddies are there tanning.-they ask you to mount their TV.-you do it like gentlemen then accept their invite to pregame.-the one calling the shots reminds you of J-Wow from Jersey Shore (your.

Why are you following Instagram models? Is following Alix Earle making your life better? Is the outfit she wore to Coachella or the “intention” with which she drinks her matcha making your life better? Are you gonna pry her away from Braxton Berrios??? (someone better-looking and.

Hangover cure:. -fresh-squeezed orange juice.-drive to your friend’s house because you don’t wanna be alone.-it’s him and his dad and two brothers who both wrestled at Penn State.-lift weights in their driveway blasting country music in the Sun.-their mom comes home with 2.

The plan:.-start pregaming at 4PM.-your friend’s older sister shows up with 5 hot friends.-one of them is wearing a jean skirt and backless top and her body looks like she’s hit Pilates 5 times a week the past 6 years.-she teaches everyone a dance routine as an ice-breaker.-girls.

Thursdays aren’t for “sending” it, they’re for lifting weights with your boys then eating a massive Chipotle bowl then having an enchanted texting conversation with your crush (2 years older than you) while watching Interstellar.

You live in a free country with the hottest women in the world and every opportunity you could ask for. You’re spinning on a sphere in an infinite universe - the fact you’re alive is a 1 in 500 trillion miracle. There are 0 excuses for not reaching your potential. Get jacked,.

Low testosterone behaviors:. -procrastinating.-complaining.-calling yourself a “hopeless romantic”.-treating customer service employees badly.-talking to your girlfriend in baby voice.-speaking negatively about your girlfriend to other people in public.-talking about your big.

Hangover cure:. -sunlight.-black coffee.-hit the gym (upper body).-get a text from a girl you’ve had a crush on for 3 years who by the grace of God you were lucky enough to hookup with 2 weekends ago.-she invites herself over and you smash on your couch (you’re terrible at sex.

The plan:. -start pregaming at 4 to Season 1 of Workaholics.-the girl you’ve been DMing shows up with 3 friends.-turns out she’s a terrible person but one of her friends is unreal - she has the calmness of Hailey Bieber and does Pilates 6 times a week.-she calls you dumb when you.

If you’re out of shape and wanna fix it:. -lift weights.-go for walks.-stop drinking on weeknights.-eat when you’re hungry not when you’re bored.-stop chasing random hookups with girls you have no future with.-trim your friend group to your real friends only (if you can’t have.

Thursdays aren’t for “sending” it, they’re for lifting weights at a gym that plays “Airplanes” (2010) then grilling ribeyes and plantains and watching Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

Testosterone boosters:. -sunlight.-lifting weights.-asking out your crush.-Scarlet Johansson’s voice.-“We Found Love” by Rihanna.-leaving a generous tip.-telling someone their song choices are good when they’re on the aux.-telling the father of the bride “thank you so much Mr.

Hangover cure:. -Advil.-hot shower.-a baddie you went to High School with shows up at your door to “help you clean” (she’s 2 years older than you and way out of your league).-she used to talk to you at parties and even got you a birthday present one year (Tim Tebow jersey) but.

The plan:. -hit the gym after a brutal work week because you need something to make you feel good.-meet your boys at the bar because you don’t wanna be alone.-“What’s My Name” by Rihanna is slapping mythologically triggering crazy nostalgia from back-to-school dances during High.

Men used to go to war now they gossip at “Brunch”.

Hangover cure:. -wake up rattled at 7AM and go straight to the gym (shoulders).-take a hot shower then set the AC to 60 and take a nap.-wake up twice as rattled as before and go to your boy’s condo because you don’t wanna be alone.-it’s him and his girlfriend and her best friend.

The plan:. -start pregaming at 930AM at the lake house.-it’s you and your 2 boys and 3 baddies who played College soccer.-“Drink In My Hand” by Eric Church is blasting - you’re flooded with memories of fresh-cut grass your senior year of football.-you have a fired up conversation.

Reasons to be muscular:. -your wife gets pumped to show you off at parties.-her dad brags about you to his golf buddies.-your shoulders look so jacked in your wife’s Instagram of you at a Morgan Wallen concert that her College rival rear-ends someone in traffic because she’s so.