Abstract Fairy
@AbstractFairy
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Gendlin Focusing Maxii. DMs warmly welcomed :D
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the content of a thought is the "I just need to …"
the shape of a thought is noticing there is a sticky tangled ball of pain running around in your head and body
you cannot resolve this through the contents the thought
I literally do not have a better pointer for this than
1. notice a thought
2. look at its shape
3. ?????!!
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randomly stolen from r/jung whom i'm guessing stole it from someone else
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your brain operates on prophetic perfect tense
If you believe it will happen, you will act as if it has already happened
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i keep thinking about this post
only 1-3% of reddit users actually post
most of wikipedia's content is written by 0.003% of the users
poasters are outliers
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@_ryanruby_
rule one of philosophy club, you will not name drop. rule two of philosophy club you will not jargon drop
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me having an insight: holy shit it all makes sense now
me writing about it: wtf this is obvious
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level 0 ambition: get an ok job like your parents
level 1 ambition: get a better job than your parents/FIRE/get rich etc.
level 2 ambition: fuck the money, we here to do what has not been done before, to build greatness (bottleneck is imagination and skill, not money)
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seems like most of being "high status" is just being relaxed
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extremely underrated: read the works that influenced your favorite authors/artists/etc.
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Every single dude i can think of playing a long game is married and recommends getting married early
honestly cant tell which part of this is cause and which is effect
married -> certain needs met -> focus on long game
focus on long game -> hey, marriage looks good -> married
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reply with the most obvious piece of advice you have
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girl I have a huge crush on: nice hoodie, when am I going to take it
chat this is a W
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so i did acid recently, 10/10 experience would recommend
main highlight was having an extremely high amount of sensory clarity. felt like i was seeing the world in 120fps for the first time
which made it clear what pain and dissonance and thoughts were
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@nikillinit
every american i've met has a big ass bag (or several) with them at almost all times. why do you guys always carry your laptop or tablet with you?
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the core idea in Peterson's Maps of Meaning as summarized by him
he was cooking, HARD!
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coming around to the idea that fiction is a sense making device
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what wholesome memory shaped your life?
e.g. like in the image. for more context read the rest of the thread
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still thinking about this panda
i think humans perform strain mostly to signal that theyre trying hard. theyre afraid of what people think
you can unlearn it and do things with less effort/strain. remaining intense and relaxed at the same time
can’t. just learned about this panda that grimaces when she breaks bamboo because she had no panda teachers and noticed humans making that face every time they broke some bamboo for her.
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1. Something weird I've started to feel on Twitter is that I have an ego (???) / sense of self on here
When you join at first. You dont know the rules, and you don't know anyone. You just sit there shouting into the void and wonder if you exist or not
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sufficiently advanced inference is indistinguishable from prophecy
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lmao. absolute banger
it is not the critic who counts (he's masturbating), its the man in the arena (actually in dialogue with reality and having sex)
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@_inju
im disagreeable enough that if someone said "you dont look sorry" id say "yeah, im not"
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@gnopercept
@Chaucer2616
humans always settle down next to reliable water sources (i.e. rivers) and that means an occasional flood
now floods are hella traumatic and significant events. its gonna stay in your myths and lore forever
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lowkey feel like i should write a philosophical manifesto to figure out what to do with my life
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This is one of those "this is how therapy actually works, and everything on top is useless rites and rituals" kinda things
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i always forget how psychedelic tpot is until i tell someone a fairly common talking point and it suddenly looks like ive rearranged their soul and filled it with a warm cup of resonance
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the thing i found counter intuitive but present in both The Body Keeps the Score, and in Focusing is that simply and honestly saying that "[bad thing] is bad" can bring people a tremendous amount of relief
like floodgates of tears kind of relief
If you take a risk and say something thats so naive and sincere thats its borderline totally dumb, youll bring tears of relief to someone’s eyes
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"god is dead" "men have a god shapd hole" but have you considered the opposite? the devil is also dead and we have a devil shaped hole
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this is the core of resisting manipulation, all else is commentary
> I refuse to play this game
"I refuse to play this game" is an underappreciated rejoinder to all sorts of manipulations
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lots of people wanting to build FIRE just so they can feel safe pursuing a level 2 ambition. but they are way too ambiguous about it and have 0 plans
e.g. you want to write a book. technically you don't need money to do that, even if it can help you get some free time...
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Oooh. Vampires are a metaphor for manipulative people
Can't enter your life unless you invite them
Sucks you dry
I suspect that they hint at victim mentality
Bitten by a vampire & you become one
No reflection = lack of self awareness
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@nomanautomata
unironically a friend asked me to write a story about his particular situation, and it was the best piece of fiction ive ever wrote
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paradoxically. it looks like non-doing / doing nothing + not taking yourselr seriously / anti-seriousness / playfulness are the best way to increase agency
looooooool
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You hear about romantic break ups but never platonic ones
Why? Whats the big difference?
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equanimity is being relaxed with whatever you experience
apathy is being tired of whatever you experience
people just wrongly think that you cant be relaxed all the time with everything. lots of tension and wear and tear as a result
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can't help but feel that most advice is just projection
people projecting their own ideals and shoulds onto you
if you ask most people for advice they'll be ready to give it without even asking you any further questions
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lads explain your favourite military tactic / strategy / event to me. i want to know earnestly
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me getting increased sensory clarity: hahaha fuck yes
that sensory clarity also working on negative emotions: yo wtf?
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id say one of the biggest differences between people i follow on twitter and most people i know irl, is that twitter peeps seem to believe that they can change the world, but irl peeps are just focused on putting food on the table
why?
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3. Suddenly, the void now talks back, and it's quite nice
Twitter went from, I'm here for expert opinions and memes to I'm here for my friends (I dont use this word lightly.)
Equally strange if not more. I feel like I exist and matter
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2. You learn the rules and start existing on Twitter. First few followers are bots & followback types. But then something weird happens. Real people start showing up. Not any people. Your people
These are people who truly want to hear you, and probably feel what you say
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@meansinfinity
did it move?
I'm guessing it would have due to the pressure, and that's what drew your attention
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if you met a clone of you, would you get along and enjoy your company?
this is a good question, and incredibly important if you learn about mimesis. people copy each other, in kindness and violence
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often people work until retirement and then realize they don't know how to write the book
money was *not* the bottleneck
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smth clicked and now i view people taking things anxioisly seriously as hypervigilant babies that are too afraid to play
hypervigilant babies look different. they’re too busy watching the adults in the room, in fear of their reactions to them actually touching a block to actually play, it’s heartbreaking.
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Apparently, before Gendlin was calling it the felt sense, he used to call it pre-conceptual experience
allegedly had to change it for psychologists
tbh pre-conceptual experience is a much better name than felt sense imo
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twitter is oral culture with the written word
oral culture relied on repeating the same thing several times in order to keep it in memory. now we tweet the same thing several times
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@cxgonzalez
frame it like theyre doing you a favor. let them save face
ooops i made extra food, itll go bad
hey i want to hike but not alone, can u come with me?
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@goblinodds
saw one recently where it was like:
we are legally required to name this as extra premium ice cream due to the amount of cream used. literally check the weight of this cone compared to others
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@crystalxduan
the more things i hear about chinese, the more it sounds like a stack of idioms pretending to be a language
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the sexual tension between tweeting in public and journaling in private
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why do people just resign to suffering and nihilism instead of trying to fix the world?
(asking unironically for myself)
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7. This is all coming from a guy who actively resists a notion of a self. (I.e we are behaviours and we can change) Makes it extremely weird for me to feel this stuff
/end and love you all😘
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there are two things i can intuit from most people (men mainly tbh) just from seeing them speak most of the time
1. has this guy been through a decent amount of suffering
and
2. is this guy a dad
the more experience i accumulate in helping (coregulating) my son eat, sleep and breathe, the clearer it becomes to me that i didnt have much of that myself as a kid growing up, which makes so much of my unhinged childhood make so much more sense
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ok. so im feeling like im not learning nor socializing as much on twitter so i plan on dialing it back a bit
but first a sort of ritual where i acknowledge the things ive learned from here
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life is meaningless -> I'm not getting what I want from life
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sm1 tweeted that "empaths" ignore people's bids to be left unread and thats lowkey changed how i socialize
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> The job of the creative person is to recognize and express things for others. Some haven’t fully grasped their own feelings. Others lack the skill to communicate the feeling or idea. Still others lack the courage to express it.
—Consider This by Chuck Palahniuk
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while on the trip i felt that each and every sensation had an intention
colors were saying that they were differentiating objects, or they were a projection of emotion
pain was a request to move in a slightly different way
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venturing out of tpot reminds me that y'all are at kegan stage 5 self authorship level
outlier tier community
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> Rules normally exist in contexts where they are broken
!!!!!!!!
as a dude who was legit obsessed with following rules—and then searching for the "real" ones after realizing that the official rules dont work / are fake—this one is mindblowing for me
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nice reddit comment about how social media has changed
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i know (some?) men freeze up when they see an incredibly beautiful woman because they get insecure and don't feel good enough for her
do women have something similar?
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@nosilverv
lateness inducing panic and urgency is definitely a part of it, and there's a part trying to reclaim a sense of control by symbolically breaking the rules
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watching a pro do something *and* provide commentary as they do it is extremely underrated. Youtube is a goldmine for this
watching an artist sketch is better than studying their finished pieces. watching them sketch + provide commentary, even better
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4. IRL I am much more quiet than I am here. What do I have to say that people would care about? Why say something if no one will listen? And at its most extreme does my existance even matter (traces of depression I know)
Twitter resolves most of this for me
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tpot's secret weapon is that you can slowly influence culture by being mindful of how people interact and stewarding it to a better mode, gathering people with good vibes, and doing so in public. monkey see monkey do
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i wonder if there were other people like jesus and the buddha that we dont know od because nobody wrote their shit down
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really really strongly craving a feeling of flow, no clue how to reliably access flow
wat do?
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Actually, why don't more people genuinely try to win??
sometimes all it takes to win is to have the audacity to reach out and take the thing. the comments section will be like “boo, I could’ve done that” or “next time ima do that too”, but if you observe for decades, you’ll notice that audacity remains pretty scarce overall
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excellent reply/thread on how to build level 2 ambition
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people love a sense of permanence and stability
and they will stay in shit to keep it
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since this seems to be a scissor statement, i actually think he's right, and doubly so when you see the rest of the interview/context
Dr K: "Most of the suicidal men that I work with - their mind isn't malfunctioning - they genuinely have a life that is no longer worth living"
damn :/
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@Lithros
whenever people bring up canibalism i always think of that one anthropologist who told a cannibal about WWI and II
- you killed so many people how did you eat them all?
= we... didn't eat them
- then why did you kill them?
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ten key ingredients of secure attachment formation:
• physical presence
• consistency
• reliability
• interest (interested in your thoughts & feelings)
• protection
• attunement
• soothing & reassurance
• expressed delight
• encouragement for exploration (inner & outer)
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i've been intentionally speaking from my chest / gut and its so much better
1. i'm louder and my voice sounds deeper
2. doesn't strain my voice at all
3. i want to sing more. interesting how different songs seem to come from different parts of the body
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6. IRL there's a mask & a social script. Both are quite suffocating. "I" don't pop up often
Here I can be myself more (odd now that I think about it. I break almost every social script irl. Perhaps being appreciated for it matters more)
I feel appreciated for who I am
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if you stop TRYING to do things, you'll still find the impulse to do things arise
and you can just "ride" that impulse, not doing things but shit still getting done
so... why the fuck do we do the opposite of this?
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5. People will hear what I say on here. If they like it, they engage. And I get to feel good (emotional processing isnt my strong point lol)
I can also discuss things that I cant discuss IRL. Either because IRL people are scared or have Very different priors
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RT🔒: the virgin "waiting for things to get better" vs. the chad "planting trees whose shade you will never sit in"
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what people think of as the self (or rather ego) is not the self but rather what they think others think of them. they're 3 levels removed from the thing itself
might be good for interacting with others, but don't forget that it's a mask lest it suffocate you
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@gptbrooke
> facilitate a 10 day sprint where they all really focused on rebuilding trust around kitchen things
how did they do that exactly?
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ive been thinking about the difference between fatherly love (i will make you strong) and motherly love (i will care for and admire you)
and i think there's a huge shortage of fatherly love
@UntilTrees
@QiaochuYuan
@nosilverv
i dont think its orthogonal. same thing different view
the motherly love is; i love you so i will take carre of you
the fatherly love is; i love you so i will make you strong
they are expressions of love
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The part about going home while you're having fun and before you get tired, and spending some 10-15min quality time after practice are two things that I didn't expect but sound like solid advice
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ok. i was wrong, probably need to take a look at her work
these 15 seconds reveal that marie kondo is the complete opposite of what ~95% of her haters seem to assume she is
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reading some lw self improvement type stuff and the vibe reeks of "i will be rational to be a good little boy/girl"
can't have a desire just because, gotta have a rational (approved) explanation for it
kinda surprised i never noticed this
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@bashu_thanks
got some tidbits that guide me
+ some animals cannot recognize their reflection in the mirror and think it's another animal
some people cannot recognize their projections and think it's the other person
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fuck it, I have decided I will learn programming (mainly for employment purposes)
if you have any
+ requests
+ project ideas
+ resources
+ junior job openings (in a few months)
i'd love to hear them
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moots and moot adjacent:
i wrote a 29p google doc with everything i know about meditation, happy to get feedback
reply if you're interested
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