Today I am very thankful for the time I got to spend on Earth with this idiot.
I am also thankful for my other three comedy brothers.
AND I am so thankful for the AMAZING support from all of you fans, not just over these last few months, but for the last 20 years! We love you!
Every Whitest Kids U’ Know sketch will stream for free
@watchshouttv
starting May 1! The entire WKUK series plus ‘The Civil War on Drugs’ will stream & stay tuned for a complete series box set from
@shout_studios
later in 2024.
Please read this thread for answers to likely FAQs:
Hey I just want to say that if you are a fan of Whitest Kids, thank you very much and I appreciate you forever, even the lunatics that still reply to every single thing I say with a reference to hot dogs or beans even though it is 2019
A Very Special SSS tonight
twitch dot tv slash officialwkuk
9pmCT
I am promoting this with the Central Time in honor of Trevor, who hated any region that wasn’t on a coast. RIP Pal
Dropped my daughter off to 3rd grade this morning, turned on the new Tool album, and the last track should finish up right as she's receiving her high school diploma
Here is a very specific kind of terror...
My daughter made a new friend who she likes a lot, and the friend's mom just sent me a text that starts with
"So I looked up your show on YouTube..."
@ManibhaiGaming
@Hanuman64227507
I like Bheem as a character better, and of course the best dancer haha, but Ram's quicker hand-to-hand fighting style was pretty cool!
I live in South Dakota, and last night we legalized recreational and medicinal weed.
Before moving back here, I lived in Oregon, and last night they legalized shrooms and adopted much more gentle drug possession laws.
What I'm saying is, I bring the fuckin' party.
I wanted to teach my spooky goth girlfriend how to play Magic: The Gathering, so I made her a Vampire Deck. Turns out it is maybe the best deck I have ever made, and she destroyed my Green deck and my daughter's bird deck. Please respect our privacy during this difficult time.
Tomorrow night me and the other guys will be doing a short stream to touch base with everyone on twitch. Come join us even if you haven't before. 7pm pst sat. 8/21.
21 years ago today, the Whitest Kids U’ Know performed their first live show.
Since then, they have only gotten hotter and more charming (they didn’t have me or Darren yet)
Hey I want to thank everyone who's been checking out all of WKUK's new adventures/mistakes this year. We have had a blast so far and there is more to come! Our fans are really great, and I appreciate every single one of you! Even the muted ones!
I love the crazy theory that if you make it legal for adults to spend their hard-earned money on drugs, they will then turn around and give those drugs to children. I don't even let my daughter use "the good bookmark."
Hi there. Did you know we are allllmost done financing MARS, our animated
#WKUK
movie? It is going to be very funny, and as crazy as we want since it is crowd-funded! Help us wrap it up!
Donate here:
I got my blue check mark because I was sick of people asking if I was “the real Timmy.” I know that sounds crazy but it happened a lot!
Not sure what is going on in these people’s minds that they think bad guys would pose as broke fat dads from deep cable sketch comedy shows
For fellow psychos up early on a Saturday, let me remind you that the WKUK are tearin' up the internet these days. We have been putting up tons of stuff on our new official Youtube at OfficialWKUK, and we stream all the time on Twitch! Tonight all 5 of us will be there!
Happy International Men's Day! The traditional way to celebrate this holiday is to wait until International Women's Day and then ask why there isn't an International Men's Day.
Hey here’s that news you wanted. MARS IS IN THE TRIBECA FILM FESTIVAL! It will screen several times and is a huge step towards getting it released all over! Thank you all for being a part of this batshit-ass movie. We can’t wait for you to see it.
Link below
I am almost 41, and my brother, who turns 40 this year, wants us to go see this Aquabats/Less Than Jake tour this summer. Not sure enough Icy Hot can be manufactured by then to make this possible
I have Covid-19! Tested positive Saturday 9/12. I am careful (masks/distancing/hermit-ness), but just proof it can still happen. Doing okay, just down to a nasty cough.
I have started posting some videos to my personal YouTube, check it out...
I saw this truck a couple months ago, and was starting to worry that I had hallucinated it! Luckily, a red light on the way home proved me wrong.
I am so happy right now.
Hey if you like Whitest Kids and see me somewhere and say hi, and I say "thanks for watching the show!" or something, I mean that. Some drunk dude last night thought I was like mocking him by saying that? Not sure what was up there. Anyways I love meeting and thanking fans
Shout-out to the 24-minute period just now, in which I thought I had thrown my keys in the gas station garbage can
(Don’t worry they were under a ska CD in my van)
My blue checkmark is gone now, so I guess it’s time to let the real Timmy Williams out of his cage in my basement and go back to being Maggie Gyllenhaal
I am prepared to support my daughter no matter what she turns out to be; cis, trans, rich, poor, smart, stupid, whatever.
But today she said she’s “trying to become ambidextrous” and I just don’t know what to do.
Hey let's stop telling little boys that little girls are their "girlfriends." I hear it a lot here in the Midwest. It's creepy and weird and leads to 7-year-olds saying stuff they don't understand like "I want you to have my babies." Teach them that girls can be their friends
I sent my girlfriend a box of homemade cookies, and she was very impressed that I kept the cookies soft by sticking a little piece of bread in the container, but not impressed enough to let me refer to this trick as “Eldritch Magicks”
Hey
@McDonalds
maybe ask "Hot Wheels or Barbie" instead of "Boy or Girl" when a parent orders a Happy Meal? Many girls like cars, and some boys are not afraid of successful women with 49 jobs and magical unicorn friends
My daughter wanted to draw manga-style girls wearing Pokemon hoodies, and she asked if she could use my computer to get some ideas.
So she starts typing "cute kawaii Pokemon girl" into Google, and I may have set a land-speed record grabbing the mouse to click "SafeSearch On."
I’m not leaving Twitter. This account is my first step towards accruing 44 billion dollars to purchase all the cooking blogs so I can delete the pages and pages of stories before they get to the damned recipe. No one cares if your husband likes this chili
In case anyone is wondering how the kids are doing: my daughter’s 5th grade chorus concert ended early due to multiple kids barfing/fainting.
And so did the concert right before hers!
ROBOCOP (1987):
1. A guy with a gun takes hostages & the police call it "terrorism," even though he's white!
2. Robocop prevents a rape, and his protocol has him immediately set up a therapist for the victim.
So uh, guess we're less progressive than a Paul Verhoeven dystopia?
Today an older lady told me “The first time your daughter brings home a boyfriend you will be so upset!”
“Nah, I think I’ll be fin-“
“NO YOU WON’T!”
“…okay.”
Here’s the deal: I will be stoked that my daughter is less socially awkward than I was.
I let my daughter read whatever she wants. It might be a comic book, or a 90-year-old Agatha Christie novel, or…a book that looks like it was written by a WKUK character?!?
I bought my first home this month, with a big lawn.
I was already down for replacing lawns with gardens, but if I were still on the fence, this push mower would have sealed the deal. Fuck.
The morning show is talking about Cheryl Ladd and other famous babes from South Dakota, and they haven't mentioned even one of my mom characters from WKUK. I am livid.
We do not know a release date for the boxset beyond “2024.” Once we do, rest assured I will post it everywhere. I am a collector myself and cannot fucking WAIT to get this
Fans say I should publish a cookbook, but I get lots of recipes from mom blogs. If I used their "content," I would wake up one day in the back of a crossover SUV, mouth gagged with Scentsy-soaked microfiber cloth, and be buried alive in the concrete foundation of a new Target
My daughter turns 10 today, so I am about to experience my first post-Covid movie in a theater. We're seeing Black Widow, which doesn't look so great, but consider this: she chose it over Boss Baby 2.
PROGRESS
Option A: Lose the blue checkmark and get asked "Are you the real Timmy?" by weirdos
Option B: Pay to keep the checkmark and get asked "What the fuck is the matter with you?" by me
My daughter and I started watching GRAVITY FALLS, which rules, but I described it as "Rick and Morty meets Twin Peaks, but for kids," and now she says that to other 8-year-olds and they have no clue what she's on about