Steeze Rogers
@steezerogers
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General Counsel at Klarna. Former White House Proctologist-in-Residence, 2021-2025. #NeverDaunted
Joined March 2023
Oh so he stabs a kid to death and gets a tequila sponsorship? What the fuck is this country coming to?.
Carmelo Anthony holds the special edition of 1800 Tequila x New York Knicks while at Madison Square Garden
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This is my third attempt at making a Karmelo Anthony/Carmelo Anthony joke. I’m proof that you can make your dreams come true.
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@CockCommader You’re all young as hell. If you weren’t in the jerking game during the Fappening, you shouldn’t be part of the conversation. Jennifer Lawrence fed families.
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@nodrectionhome @doubtpointv2 Pretty sure that’s a reference to a similar scene in Casino Royale where Bond was tied to a chair and the villain smashed his balls with a rope.
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@powcampsurvivor I’m amazed we haven’t gotten there for I Think You Should Leave, which actually does suck.
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Seth Meyers: “people are saying the reason we, the Democrats, lost is because we’re too removed from what Middle America is feeling. We need to get in back touch with them.”. (pause). “So anyways, Bald Ann Dowd-“.
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Hey Dalton Kincaid would you mind doing anything at all.
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@DavidZavac The problem was how drastic of a leap it was from little baby Anakin to school shooter Ep II Anakin. They were basically two separate characters.
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@red_rover2 @lymanstoneky The old lady kept alive by medicare and fed and housed by social security?.
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@bucks_fam Melo would have to prove I posted this with actual malice ie I wanted his reputation to suffer. I didn’t. I wanted to be funny and to force everyone to hear the joke I came up with.
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@Evie_Isabella_0 @LeversonTylan No I like being an ape-man. I’m built like Beast from X-Men this shit nice.
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When AJ Brown leaves a game, it flips a switch in Jalen Hurts’s brain that makes him a fucking idiot.
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@PerthshireMags @nodrectionhome @doubtpointv2 Bond wouldn’t fuck dudes. His whole appeal rests on the fantasy of there being a heterosexual british guy.
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@labisiffree Every reddit bad relationship story I have ever read begins with “My (20F) boyfriend (42M)” or some bullshit. There is a theme here.
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@ShitpostRock The Dad from Inside Out calls Linguini a bitch in an accent that can only be described as "Chinese Bill Cosby" while Al howls with laughter.
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@thatmf_j @CockCommader No I’m like a 90s Bulls gooner. Golden age of gooning. The OG gooners were the playboy mag and sears catalog generation. They’re Wilt-Kareem gooners. Y’all some bron gooners. Incredible, plentiful material but soft defenses.
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@seconds_0 Natalie Portman giantess hologram Blade Runner 2049 style encouraging me to finish writing my brief.
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@aljxNdr @lookoutitsbbear (Chinesely) “you never had the makings of an attendant censorate”.
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@mcntanasky “That’s WHO REMEMBERS, for $2000, Mr. Reynolds-“. “It’s Turd Fergus-“. “I’m NOT calling you that.”.
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@jack_ha_ @PerthshireMags @nodrectionhome @doubtpointv2 That’s why he’s a fantasy. He captured the UK’s imagination. British men in the 60s all went “WHOAH! I don’t have to fuck guys? I can fuck girls?”.
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@hauntedbottom Yeah dude whoever’s out of power bitches about the incumbent government. Happens every 4-8 years.
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@GoodmanHoops Jeff, how would you feel if your daughter was dating Chris Beard. Would you want him to be the face of a university then?.
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@transjewtalian I’m not shocked that Taylor Swift has fascist connections but I am shocked that she’s Italian.
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@iwilleaturshoe @Itsyabo81565846 @CockCommader I was fourteen. You wanna fuck a fourteen year old? Sick bitch.
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@DISSOLVED__GIRL Nah you take the squishmallows off and make them face away. Better yet, take them out of the room. They don’t need to witness mom and dad do all that.
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@EffWithMelo Allegedly I’d need 500 followers to even qualify to make money off it, and even if my shit blew up consistently enough to justify paying for the blue check, I still don’t wanna give ol apartheid ass my money.
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@Goldxn_Violin Every time I see Ivy Wolk’s face I feel like vomitting. I will pluck her unibrow for her at this point.
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@Tom_Smyth_ Gift of the magi type story where there’s Straight Eye for the Queer Guy who helps a gay kid fake being straight when he visits his homophobic parents for the holidays but his parents know he’s gay and they’re working with Queer Eye to become more accepting.
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@SashaGusevPosts Funniest possible outcome is the fifth circuit agreeing w a govt counsel’s argument to defer to ICE’s interpretation of vague immigration statutes, inadvertently reviving Chevron.
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@mauddweeb The heights of Nixon’s presidency (clean air and water acts, attempted UBI, leadership during Bretton Woods) are sadly outweighed by him having committed treason to get into the office.
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@TsarinaBomba Real woman lovers known that it was Fitzgerald’s wife who wrote most of his stuff. Shoutout Ella Fitzgerald.
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@StatisticUrban “Wow look at these urbanites cosplaying as rurals living in… an exurb of an exurb of a city of 230k.”.
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@cpblahrad That’s not how it works. A juror has to have personal knowledge- direct, firsthand experience- of material facts for them to be ineligible to serve in a given case. A prospective juror can have general knowledge and still serve as long as they don’t have a bias that would 1/.
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@AliceBreckwith @the_viall_inn @bad2sentence “My husband of twenty years told me he was going blind and that everything was starting to go black.”. And then what? The second sentence her clunkily describing how she’s actually a hallucination? . The roommate would be interesting but it requires too much explanation.
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@MaybeSoland @FluidDruid4K It’s 100% the staffer class. I used to work on Dem campaigns at the state level and I was usually the only straight guy in my age group.
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@poppaboii When I was five (right after Ep III came out) I mailed Lucasfilm my crudely-drawn plan for Episode VII called “Return of the Force”, about Luke hanging out with Anakin’s ghost. He (or his secretary) sent me back a SIGNED letter saying he’s glad I like Star Wars so much.
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Oh okay you just didn’t wear shoes because you were feral. YOU WERE FERAL?
even strangers were quick to judge. often someone would approach my mother in the grocery store, "you know what causes that don't you?" .Sometimes strangers would see that we were barefoot and buy us shoes, assuming we were too poor (we were actually feral and wild and happy).
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@hoosiercommish She is, hand to god, the worst bartender of all time. Foamy pours for beer, light pours for liquor.
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@PresidentToguro I wish Kanye was aware of the phenomenon of women using romance and sex to acquire money from men!.
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@BigSkeet17 @CockCommader As a LEAK absolutely. It was far harder to find JLaw material than similarly erotic Upton material. You could see Kate Upton mostly nude before the leaks, ie the SI cover. JLaw too, but you had to torrent specific movie scenes or fakes on celebjihad.
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@Baileymoon15 That’s not even close bro. Alan Alda as Jack’s dad, “I saw a homeless man cooking a hot pocket on third rail of the g-train!”, Queen of Jordan, Slingblade and Oprah, Tracy going to “Africa”.
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I mean fuck I like roys, I like the vid, I like root cellar, I like the bird, I like upstairs.
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@Phil_Lewis_ “His very first move as Director of SHIELD was to sign Tony Stark. WHO WAS ON CRACK.”.
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@oceana_roll “Actress” is pushing it. She’s a wannabe actress. That’s her entire shtick. “Oh look at how I’m making fun of the female lead in indie movies, I’d NEVER want to be in those! Unless…”.
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