Tom Smyth
@Tom_Smyth_
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contributor @theonion, @reductress | writing in @vulture, @thecut, @latimes, @teenvogue, @mcsweeneys, @newyorker, and fan letters to ina garten
Brooklyn, New York
Joined April 2012
based on my instagram alone i’m more likely to find out about a new carly rae jepsen song than i am about a nuclear bomb.
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NEW YORK CITY IS NOT SAFE ANYMORE (this is about jessica vosk running up to people with a microphone for her tiktok).
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olivia rodrigo should announce her new album on inside the nba.
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minions are instinctually driven to serve the most evil person they can find
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my dream job is to ghostwrite theater actors’ funny little playbill bios.
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RT @TheOnion: Taylor Swift Details Writing New Album With Travis Kelce Watching ‘Family Guy’ In Background
theonion.com
NEW YORK—Sharing new details about The Life Of A Showgirl, pop superstar Taylor Swift revealed Monday that she wrote the forthcoming album while boyfriend Travis Kelce watched Family Guy in the...
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they're gonna run out of people to guest co-host with jenna bush hager and then it will be my turn.
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please welcome to the stage. Ms. Now!.
MSNBC is being rebranded to MS NOW. The new acronym stands for ‘My Source (for) News, Opinions (and the) World.’
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she’s our only hope
The Supreme Court has been formally asked to overturn its landmark same-sex marriage ruling. Kim Davis, who was jailed for six days for refusing to issue a marriage license to a gay couple, has filed an appeal in her case.
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they should turn the apartment across the hall from me into a panera.
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oh that wasn’t on your 2025 bingo card?? probably because bingo cards are just letters and numbers you dumb fuck.
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i hope they all stay in touch <3.
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it was so jarring watching sarah jessica parker do a thanksgiving scene where she wasn't singing "let's have a kiki/turkey lurkey time".
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