em!! 🇵🇸
@realemilyattack
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Pinned Tweet
does it even matter if babies get switched at the hospital like who cares
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I’m locked out of my dogs Facebook account that i created in 2010 and they won’t let me back in unless I send over a copy of his drivers license
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Im so over fear mongering food takes but this one is really gonna send me over the edge!!! Shut up!!!!!
White rice is as bad as candy when it comes to heart health: study
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women: endure dozens of microaggressions per day, socialized to be polite, immersed in culture where being sexualized is tied up with self worth, live with real fear of violent retaliation ...
dudes: why don’t u just say no a little louder lol it’s easy i luv being loud
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does anyone else have imposter syndrome but for their mental illness? like i’m severely depressed but i often suspect i might be faking it
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My dad said the Bigfoot sightings website he used to like has gone totally commercial "of course"
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I need that stuff Juliet drank that made her seem dead for awhile
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What if u met the love of your life and they were really into baseball
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I think if you have a bad dream you should get the day off work
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There’s an argument about Obama’s birth certificate happening under this tweet
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boy if I could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't because N is right next to O already
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men try so hard to make being rejected by women a Social Issue
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start up founders are like yeah... we say 'fuck' in meetings here 😏 that's a benefit we offer in lieu of medical coverage
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ah nothing brings a smile to my face quite like a man demanding it
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There's a woman who keeps coming up on my tiktok feed showing her "5 to 9 after my 9 to 5" and she goes to Disney world every night
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in canada, breaking bad is about a chemistry teacher whose cancer gets treated
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1977 called it wants its topic of discussion back
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FYI if this is a thing u experience and like me never knew if it was just u
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i can’t even tell u how awkward it is to take pics after getting engaged. lmao great shots of the ring here
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IM SCREAMING
We are doomed as a country if it is this easy to cripple our infrastructure
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what i like about dogs is how they are not obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder and getting promoted
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Sometimes when I compliment my dogs I add "everyone's saying so!" If it ever comes up in conversation w them please just go with it..
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I’m watching my carbs. I’m watching them go in my mouth. I’m watching my gummy bears too
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don't talk to me before I've had my coffee *never has coffee*
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Wow some of you are really into "sex"Well I did some research and I don't think it's practical or wise.
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I'm never getting married all men are just cheaters who fake their own death and frame their wives for murder
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Almost quote tweeted something and then I remembered my most sacred responsibility
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ay some dude pressed his dick up on me at DJ spinn so I farted
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Max reached the end of his road this morning. I am so lucky I have to had 14 good years with my heart dog, the world's most gentle but tough, pure hearted sweet angel
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women dont want to explain feminism to u bc we're tired.
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Unfortunately I just heard the phrase "platonic polyamory" and I now have to pass away goodbye
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I should be allowed to tweet a pic of my boobs without it being a whole thing
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“i like to stay informed” -my reply to reggie teasing me for obsessively checking
@IvePetThatDog
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My 3 year old just looked at me and said "mom, given the air pressure at those depths it is most likely the submersible imploded"
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I would stick beside them. At least I can have a cold one and a hot dog at the game
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I've now been called rupert Murdoch because of this tweet where do I collect my check
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i did all of these things - every single one - for years. within a month of taking my *mental illness drug* i had my life back. if i hadn’t waited so long (in part due to this kind of irresponsible platitude) i wouldn’t have had to struggle for literal decades
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Age is just a number, blood pressure is just a number, blood alcohol content is just a number, IQ is just a number, sell by date is just a n
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tomorrow my angel max has surgery to have a tumor removed 1 like = 1 healing
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"Is Beyonce Really A Feminist?" and other fart noises that oddly resemble a sentence
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Dog showing off his bone like he hot shit. Get a job idiott
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i don’t like to body shame but tbh i always thought owls could move their heads 360 degrees, come to find out it’s a mere 270
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Do u think there's something I can buy
@that
will make me truly happy. Maybe in the $25 to $30 range
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i’m dog sitting which means im saying “mind your own business fellas” every ten minutes
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my friends 16-year-old brothers friends wrote "bareback king" all over his parents minivan after he lost his virginity without a condom
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if you don't fav my selfies then that's fine. that's just a choice you've made in your life . but we all have to answer to God
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