i hope this email kills us both

Got the zoomies at work and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net

I need to sit by the ocean and disassociate for like three days

There are croissants out there that will change your entire outlook on life

Tranquilo MONTOYA por favoooooor..!!!

you want me to attend a work meeting? the thing that killed Julius Caesar?

“Winter is literally the best season” ok u fucking husky go sit outside then

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me

do NOT email me. it's thanksgiving eve eve, have a little respect

Midway through November is the official beginning of crashout season. Improving your life can wait until January. Engage in those vices and become even more toxic, it’s been a long year you deserve it

hannah baker a weak bitch i’m on reason 575 chin still up

Vacation me is nice, vacation me is kind. In conclusion, I need to be on vacation always.

i can deal with trials but tribulations got me fucked up

If I owe you an email, imagine what I owe myself

no i don’t want to jump on a call i want to jump off a building

what if my sleeping schedule isn’t even bad but I’m just living on the wrong side of the world

i personally would never waste away in margaritaville. i would shine

(completely overwhelmed) will do!