dilly
@2dilly2dally
Followers
1K
Following
26K
Media
913
Statuses
4K
powerlifter, cat dad, pickle peddler
Joined March 2024
Going to a job interview when you’re bald is wild like yeah I wanna work here oh and btw here’s my scalp.
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Midway through November is the official beginning of crashout season. Improving your life can wait until January. Engage in those vices and become even more toxic, it’s been a long year you deserve it.
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Dude you have to stop. Your thighs too thick. Your ass too fat. Your heart too pure. They’ll kill you.
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Ughhhh I want to buy a horse.
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As the weather chills this album calls to me like the green goblin mask
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70 degrees so I put on the 5” inseams for a walk through the neighborhood
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Reading Philly twitter will make you think the Eagles are losing by 28 then you check and it’s 3-0 in the 2nd quarter.
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@maizie_star I’m convinced this is why a lot of people specifically desire offline partners, they’re a blank slate for expired memes.
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DMing her “Is this still available? 😊” after she posts a thirst trap.
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Girl the boycott.
twitter: this assassin was a pro. amazing technique. never steps in front of a camera. assassin: gotta get my morning starbucks latte
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My body is a machine that turns woman 3,000 miles away into wife in my dreams.
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I do this on the first link idgaf.
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I’ve seen the most beautiful and wonderful women end up dating just some guy.
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@Tyre_94 He’s like “job market has never been this cooked” while shaming someone trying their best to earn money what a loser.
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A season of white lotus but it’s just me and my freaky ass twitter friends having a bender in a resort.
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Men who eat box on the first link go to heaven.
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✨. ･｡ . 🌟｡. *✨｡. ⚡️. *. Let that bald white boy hit . ﾟ*. ｡｡ ⚡️. ｡ ･✨. 🌟*. ✨*
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Guy who begged for a job for months now has to go to the job he prayed for
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Dating apps aren’t working I’m going to start posting more of my body on twitter.
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Walz has normal dude aura. If he didn’t get the VP nom, he would be watching Adrian Peterson highlights on youtube and making a really big sandwich. I trust a man like that with my life.
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How it feels to tell your friends about another failed talking stage
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Just gave my cat brisket and he loved it that’s really my son fr I bet he likes metallica too.
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Greetings, weary traveler!
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Always tough seeing someone live your dream.
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Rainy scooter ride across the city to pick up weed this must be how it feels to play Death Stranding
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Waiting for my WNBA wife to return home from practice (she hides my video game controller in the cabinets I can’t reach)
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Everybody love earth until that barista hands them a paper straw.
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Reject dating apps embrace walking into the forest until you get lost and freeze to death.
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This must’ve been what it felt like when Wilt Chamberlain entered the NBA.
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I love lifting weights and getting big and strong and laying down with my cats and hanging out with my friends and playing video games and watching funny videos on my phone and eating tasty food and going for a walk like I love that stuff.
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I’m such a simple creature this had me imagining a life together
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Two years without my momma today. Two years without any family left. Life is so difficult and terrifying without them and I’m struggling now more than ever. I miss her and my father and my sister so much every day. All of them gone so quickly and none of it makes any sense
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What if instead of continuing to cut weight I had 7,000 calories of taco bell.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARKUS !!!!! my sweet wonderful boy turns 4 years old today. It is my greatest honor to share this life with you. I love you bubba
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(not pictured) the gluttnous taco bell order that followed this hike
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I lift weights and hug my cats.
wtf single people even do?.
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I’m late I’m sorry
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My parents living on through meme account reposts is kinda endearing.
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