inspector ratchet
@_hood_mona_lisa
Followers
20K
Following
89K
Media
4K
Statuses
46K
Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.
walk-in freezer at Applebee's
Joined May 2016
my mornings start by listening to the donkey kong country soundtrack and driving my car directly into a fruit vendor's stand at 200 miles per hour.
133
822
2K
can’t believe the hobbit went outside once and accidentally invented trauma.
1
6
20
whenever i win an argument i treat myself to a victory meal (i haven’t eaten dinner in 3 years).
10
17
96
RT @godisangryatme: Eat corn chips at night, wife says alright . Eat corn chips in morning, wife gives me warning.
0
470
0
RT @dril: some mandela æffect shit. a recalled vision of garfield the cat wearing a trenchcoat & holding a pistol? saying simply the word "….
0
200
0
“do you want to add avocado for $4?” no, i want to pay my car insurance this month.
4
35
130
RT @timothysees: @_hood_mona_lisa On the highway to the danger zone (connecting to the internet with a 56k modem).
0
1
0
Engaging enemy forces in the designated combat zone (joining a Teams meeting).
4
17
56
RT @HadenReynolds: @_hood_mona_lisa I knew you'd return, like you did in the Turkish bazaar in 1467.
0
1
0
I would trade my birthright for a basket of onion rings and an industrial vat of ranch.
4
15
58
RT @benedictsred: You should be able to get a mystery bag of pills from CVS for a $10 copay.
0
402
0
RT @Bedlam_Beersie: “The following is based on a true story,” I say as I take a seat on the toilet.
0
2
0
RT @RL_Stine: I am so honored to win the RL Stine look-alike contest for 2025. Such a surprise! The award is given every year to the author….
0
787
0
RT @CountMoriarty: @_hood_mona_lisa Bluetooth cannot connect. Please restart weapon and then install update. Cannot connect to internet.….
0
1
0
WW3: i can’t fire my weapon unless i first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.
5
27
181
RT @ouchowwie: doing petplay with deer girlfriend. i just hit her with my car going 55 on a country backroad.
0
13K
0
RT @dril: is any one in power willing to stand up and punish donkey kong for all the horrible noises he has made during his games.
0
349
0