henny gesserit
@heyyitsdidi
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Pinned Tweet
Lord I am not But only say
worthy that you the word and
should enter my soul shall
under my roof be healed
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the best part about being in a ton of 2023 pregnancy/baby groups is getting to see all the absolutely wretched names parents are coming up with these days. here are some highlights i’ve collected
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my dad texted me this completely unprompted (i was born exactly 9 months after valentine’s day) 🫥
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i cannot imagine being so terminally pornbrained that being fully immobilized in a vacuum-sealed sex cube is “the mildest thing” to you
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her music isn’t good enough for the love she gets but also not bad enough for the hate she gets. it’s like if cream of wheat had a sound
What's a Taylor opinion that will get you cancelled?
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people are accusing me of faking this so here are screenshots of some of the ones i could track down (lots of info redacted for privacy)
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like do ur thing in the bedroom it’s truly no one else’s business but this sort of mindset is related to why women who don’t want to be punched in the face during sex are shamed for being “vanilla.” it’s ok to have serious kinks but we should call them what they are!
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@LegoRedhead
something about it being a hyphenated first name instead of being first name + middle name just hits different
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@johnsexyelder
@daveweigel
did you happen to meet her while she was dancing at your local gentlemen’s club?
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@Slashbaby1
that’s valid but doesn’t mean she wouldn’t or shouldn’t get why the general population would find this kind of kink to be extreme
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@jamielynnlano
@saint_audrey
when will terminally online people stop equating media consumption with personal virtue
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@CartoonsHateHer
for cost-saving purposes i got married for free at a roadside hot dog restaurant in west virginia (insufferable cool girl behavior) but i was emotionally unable to compromise on having my dream dress (high-maintenance goblin behavior)
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@clhubes
i got dogpiled in a mom group for saying i moved my baby into his own room at 7 weeks. he sleeps better that way! jokes on them because most nights he’s been sleeping 6-8 hour stretche without waking since 9 weeks 🤷🏼♀️
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mom can you come pick me up? the twitter users found out that you’re not a performative radical online leftist so they’re demanding that i spurn your selfless love and disregard the immense physical and emotional sacrifices you’ve made for me since before i was even born
seeing sydney sweeney get jumped is beautiful. if you’re white and unwilling to completely shame your parents for their conservative views, you’re just as complicit and need to be escorted out.
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@DarkBlue_X2
i really hate “___xton” names 😭 Daxton, Paxton, Brixton… i just can’t get behind it!
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@GarbageApe
tell me you’ve never looked at property in rural/semi-rural areas without telling me you’ve never looked at property in rural/semi-rural areas
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@depthsofwiki
for anyone who’s sad about this pls know that this is not actually a problem for hedgehogs! their spines only stick out when they feel threatened. these are my 4 hogs who are very closely bonded and comfortable with each other :)
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this blanket wasn’t supposed to turn out so big but here we are
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the pornbrains found this tweet pray for me yall
(p.s. you can be a sex worker and still understand why the general non-sex worker populace would find a kink very extreme)
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aaaand it begins
the best part about being in a ton of 2023 pregnancy/baby groups is getting to see all the absolutely wretched names parents are coming up with these days. here are some highlights i’ve collected
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i haven’t officially announced this to my family yet and my nails look like trash but i simply could not stop myself from posting :)
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@flatstick96
beautiful! if you had triplet sons you should’ve gone for Aramis, Athos, and Porthos
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@AvalonSwenson
forgive the image quality bc doing a deep dive was easier on my laptop but i FINALLY found it
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in freshman year my boyfriend at the time surprised me with flowers outside my dorm & then a few hours later showed me a yikyak that said “who was the cute guy holding flowers outside dinwiddie??” but i could see the trash can symbol in the corner that meant he posted it himself
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high school bully turned cop bf and high school bully turned nurse gf
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the only time i ever went on a Colonial Williamsburg ghost tour, i brought an entire bottle of champagne poured in an old gatorade bottle and it made a deafening carbonation hiss when i unscrewed the cap, and one of the moms gently shuffled her child away from me
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playing twitter on hard mode by never having seen even one millisecond of Succession or Euphoria
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me, a West Virginian, seeing that Governor Jim Justice is trending again for the second time this month
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like this tweet and i will generate a random color palette 4 u :)
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@HodgkinsonRoger
@Forbes
yes it is unfortunate that some people are just too stupid to learn the difference between Virginia and West Virginia
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the most unhinged guy i ever met spent the whole dinner bragging about how he’d already purchased his own cemetery plot in Richmond and how he visits once a month to leave flowers on his future grave. i wonder how he’s doing these days
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so excited to announce i got into medical school!!!! i will be attending as a cadaver :)
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@generalslug
@Billaric
everyone clinging to "but the CDC said vaccines MIGHT not prevent infection/transmission!" despite a preponderance evidence to the contrary is just as bad as the anti-maskers who never stopped screaming that the CDC flipped their stance on masks after getting new data
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ya girl just landed a $75k work from home writing job BYEBYE WAITING TABLES !!!!
the greatest test of my catholic faith has been working in food service like i am literally just repeating in my head “i can only love Jesus as much as the person i love the least” while i serve rude fussy customers their complicated ass orders for a $3 tip
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how i stand when they’re pointing the thermometer gun at my forehead
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even under Roe, my entire state is served by only ONE abortion clinic & ONE pp center. abortion is still de facto illegal in many states for millions of people. protecting Roe is important but that can’t be the end of the conversation on reproductive rights
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i wish i could say i spent the last few days in newborn bliss but instead i had severe c-section complications resulting in a second surgery, 6 blood transfusions, and an ICU stay. i didn’t see my baby for almost 2 days. birth is not a joke. go hug your mom
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how do i explain to my mother, who was born in 1969, that she should stop adding 69 to the ends of all her usernames and email accounts
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i still can't believe people run marathons on purpose like are yall just ignoring the fact that your boy Pheidippides dropped dead
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this 18-year-old who was hitting on me found out i’m 24 and said “it’s ok i like milfs”
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being “bi”sexual doesn’t mean i’m exclusively attracted to TWO genders it means i’m exclusively attracted to the TWO women named Ruby on Great British Bakeoff
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@HowellJollyBody
@sophiawpelton
i use co wash, never shampoo, moroccan argan oil, and eco styling gel!! plop in a t shirt and let air dry!! 3x/week 🤩🤩
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writing a character as tragic and victimized as Fantine and then still continuing to patronize brothels is batshit insane
Victor Hugo visited so many brothels and was considered the greatest patron that when he died, the sex workers of Paris closed the brothels for his funeral . We can’t judge people by the morals of today when they’re never taught to believe that anyone who pays for sex is a rapist
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@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz
Mary correctly followed the ABMs of safe sleep (alone on back in manger) thanks be to God
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i’m grateful for the opportunity i had to attend w&m, but i was failed so many times by admin—i was discouraged from reporting my r*pe because my assailant was another student. i expressed suicidal thoughts and was told i had to wait 3 weeks to receive behavioral health care.
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folks did you know that when you chose chocolate milk instead of regular milk at lunchtime in elementary school, that was actually a trauma response?
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i mean this very sincerely and without judgment but if you can’t handle an occasional 4-page essay without cheating then college is not the right place for you
yep that’s what happens when students have real lives , other classes/work , and you want 4+ paged essays , on top of all the extra busy work , even though it won’t be used once in the job field . please yall professors don’t play the victim , WE do not care
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showcasing some things i made (infant, very hungry caterpillar costume)
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girls only want one thing and it’s a brick colonial with candles in the window
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my theory is that when they separated us by gender for sex ed class in middle school they secretly taught the boys every make and model of car instead
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today i was finally able to do my first pushup in over 10 years, can i get a W!!!!
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thinking about the fact that all of the colonial parkway serial murders occurred over 4 years (average time to get a bachelors degree) in the spring and fall (standard college semesters) like........ it was definitely a w&m student right
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