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greg

@gregmaxxing

Followers
254
Following
285
Media
7
Statuses
150

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Joined May 2022
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Nice
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
CEO: our new publishing company needs a name. Any ideas? Me: *holds up spork* yeah I have one xD
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@lo_calibr I’m his number one fan
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@lo_calibr He says he’ll tell me “when I’m ready”
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@gregmaxxing
greg
2 months
I just crushed a human skull into dust with my bare hand
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
This account is now over. Thank you for your time
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Bro can I sit up front with you? I promise to buckle up and shit
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
A make-a-wish kid just wished for me to die in his place
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
I’m a caveman and this is mediocre at best
@Asapteejo
FL∆CKØ
3 months
This rock art is so phenomenal, that even the cavemen would give it a thumbs up!
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Stewie might be book smart but he has a lot to learn about kindness
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
You just wnna plump me up so you can harvest my meat
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
Me and my friends accidentally created Joe Biden during one of our witchcraft sessions
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Walked in on my roommate sitting like this watching Tenet with full concentration. I asked what he’s doing and he just said “studying”
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Pulling me phone out during a bad date and just scrolling through the mcdonalds app
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
I’m gonna feed you to my giant venus fly trap
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Ducks love to quack. And I can’t blame them
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Watching youtube videos at 2x speed is actually quite easy for me due to my extremely high intelligence
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Butts against the current, throwing it back ceaselessly with that ass -The Great Gyatsby
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Gleefully riding a jet ski while my less fortunate friends watch from shore. They will not be getting a turn
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Pacman is loosely based on a true story
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
A thousand years of despacito
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
In the future dogs will chew on high tech bones
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Everyone has that one friend who’s chill af as long as you don’t make any sudden movements
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Its crazy that the month of July is named after Julius Caesar that’s like if Biden added a new month called Joevember
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
It became impossible to fully convey some of my emotions ever since apple got rid of the gun emoji
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
You’re meowing? You put a dead bird at my doorstep and you’re meowing?
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
They’re putting me in a reality show about guys who call women goddess
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Me and my crew are pretty hostile to that which we do not understand
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I am going to submerge you in a liquid
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Filter feeding hits different when you are a freakin clam
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
Tbh you seem cool but I know a dark secret that would tear your family apart. Rate: 7/10 ✌️
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Demand for whimsey has increased by 14 points this quarter
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@GRUGCEL Im there rn I can grab it for you if you want haha just kiddin -greg
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Last night was crazy me and the boys stayed so true to ourselves
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
If you have the hiccups grow up
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Ghouls and goblins barely even scare me anymore
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@boonchibaby Okay fine I’ll stay
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Movies should have a feature where the actors break character to explain what happened while you were in the bathroom or passed out
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
I got my health insurance from Amazon Basics
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
They’re putting me in a reality show about guys who eat a lot of spaghetti
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
*accidentally pushes you into a volcano* shoot my bad
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
A guy named Brewski Delicious
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Developing a big ass laser in my garage
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I had a dream about you my slime
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
I taught my stupid ass dog to do the harlem shake
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
This lowkey cannot stand, my slime
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
One of my distant family members recently had a bruh moment
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Bro we are legit about to drop you in this pit of boiling hot magma
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
I have a longstanding disagreement with uncle kracker. He knows what he did
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
<— had a sexual experience at Great Wolf Lodge
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I dedicate my sandwich to the dreamers
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
We don’t need “science” anymore. If you wanna know how stuff works you can just ask my step brother
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
*turns into a skeleton and starts dancing around*
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
TWITTER TIP
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
We’re all doing whippets at the facility
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Apparently you can use your phone to mine crypto!!! And you can also use it to call your loved ones
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
My cat takes so long to eat lol I could eat that much cat food in half the time
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I bid you adieu playboy
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Joe Biden has tragically died after taking one sip of a white red bull
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
This food is really good it tastes like ingredients
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Paul atreides mo bamba edit
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I am proposing a constitutional amendment
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Abusive Afroman be like I was gonna respect your boundaries but then I got high
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I’m going to invent a new shape
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@PerfectlyWeird Nice try but this will not stop me
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@vzxkr @boonchibaby Thanks! It’s surreal to be back after all this time, but everything is just how I remember it
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
New York, a city which experts increasingly consider to be “the Big Apple”
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Homer Simpson isn’t actually stupid he is just pretending
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@boonchibaby Like jesus I went away for a bit but lowkey I have risen
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@boonchibaby No, no I couldn’t……. could I?
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I am being hunted by a bunch of fucked up and evil twinks
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@HogansMalone @GeebMinister If I’m paying $500 I shoulf at least get to eat more than one
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Juicy Pete messaged you: “let’s get juicy”
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
The limp bizkit community has mixed feelings about valentines day this year
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
Bro do you mind if I dominate you
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Drake would be so much cooler if he killed a guy
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@rinnystarr Cartoon character drip
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@xeroger @panoptisean Yes 😂 we are so much better than those guys
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@porcelainfruit Thank you for everything crunch. As a token of my gratitude I have elected to stay forever actually
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
That moment when you’re stranded on a desert island and your friend start turning into giant KFC chicken legs
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@boonchibaby Yeah deadass
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
Barracktober -greg
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I wonder if wizards eat soup and sandwiches and shit like the rest of us
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
@pepsibong Selling my body on facebook marketplace
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@gregmaxxing
greg
2 months
@arrtnem @cowboybecsbop My dog has a boner and I keep accidentally catching a glimpse of it
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
You’ve been on your best behavior haven’t you bro
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
Apparently if you say “rick and morty” three times in a row then rick and morty will appear irl
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@gregmaxxing
greg
2 months
@grill_god_ The weird part is I don’t regret it. Like at all
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@gregmaxxing
greg
10 days
@EM_RESUS See-through body syndrome
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
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@gregmaxxing
greg
3 months
@powcampsurvivor I drank it and it turned me gay :(
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@gregmaxxing
greg
2 months
@boonchibaby Yes! It’s super satisfying especially if you are a fidgety/tactile person like me
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@gregmaxxing
greg
5 months
Adrien Brody has been hiding in the bushes by my apartment
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
The limp bizkit community has mixed feelings about this year’s super bowl
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@jonkytonk Can I have the leg?
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@gregmaxxing
greg
2 months
@boonchibaby You can try amazon basics, their starter skulls are supposed to be great for an inexperienced crusher
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@jonkytonk I’m loving the pfp master jonk
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
I got 99 problems
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@gregmaxxing
greg
4 months
@jonkytonk (Googling) free leg stuff to do with
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@gregmaxxing
greg
2 months
Tweet media one
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