kevin (miffy's version)
@co_routine
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I remember when the TSA was created two decades ago, one of the things civil libertarians were worried about was government surveillance of domestic travelers.
Under the previously undisclosed program, the Transportation Security Administration provides a list multiple times a week to ICE of travelers who will be coming through airports. ICE can then match the list against its own database of people with deportation orders.
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Joan Didion’s essay, ‘On Self Respect,’ which she wrote in 1961 at age 27 is undefeated on the topic of owning up to your actions: ‘Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life - is the source from which self-respect springs.’
There are, of course, worse things in the universe but I suspect by sheer scale this horrendous and selfish lie is towards the top of the list for causing pain, just behind the obvious suspects.
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the biggest emotional transformations seem to consistently come from love and meaningful relationships therapy can help you get unstuck enough to access that, but the real healing is always relational. sometimes therapy forgets that’s the end goal and gets stuck in self-fixation
pretty sure every man is just one forehead kiss and “you’re important” away from crying for the first time in years.
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Isn't it interesting how no one working on compilers, operating systems, container runtimes/orchestration, databases, browser engines, dist systems, game engines, etc. are ever the ones saying stuff like 'software engineering is cooked in {time period} because of {new model}'. 🤔
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If you're ever on the receiving end of a message like this, don't try to decipher it. Don't even read it honestly. It means they're not attracted to you. The second someone hotter appears, they will magically become ready to date again
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i have been saying this!!
new study out confirms something I've long believed: watching Instagram Reels or Youtube Shorts is basically twice as bad for you as TikTok
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A mutual friend asked them both to lunch and then "suddenly had to leave" once they both got there
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Burn these two sentences into your brain. Repeat them every time you train.
The most hard-hitting 2 sentences in all of talent development research:
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deleting later but my hot take of the day is that you can be there for your friends without expecting anything in return but you can also be sad when they dont show up for you
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it seems if you can hold a deep belief in someone’s underlying goodness, relationship tension dissipates more easily “i am hurt by you” does not require “so you are bad” “a belief in each others' hearts and basic underlying goodness, an anchor through the vicissitudes of life”
The first time I told my wife "I love you" she replied "I know." That was about 20 years ago and today we're celebrating 17 years of marriage. I don't talk about my marriage much here — I'm a private person, I'm wary of anything that resembles relationship discourse, and I'm a
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i don’t know anything but my experience of aging so far has been a series of sudden& humiliating realizations that every cliche made meaningless by constant exposure (“be yourself” etc) contains a completely overwhelming degree of truth that u can’t understand until you just do
it's weird that at a given age, 45 say, someone can't just write down the compressed/compiled topline notes on everything they've learned about life, and then just hand that to someone at 20, saving them 25 years of lessons. why that doesn't work is a somewhat instructive Q
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@Parkerlawyer I heard someone say once to choose your partner based on who would be there with you and how they would act when you lose your parents or people you love. That perspective changed everything for me.
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perfect scissor statement for many the self-empowering high agency reframe of addiction helps unravel it, and for many others it creates a shame spiral ("i'm choosing it so I must be bad") that deepens the addiction. 'notice how you feel when using' is more robust advice imo
Hate when people say they're 'addicted' to smartphones. Imo there should be a more low status word for 'embarrassing failure of willpower' to put the locus of control back on the person - less "I have a condition" and more "I keep making the dumb choice."
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>complain that giving my phone number to Quickbooks led to daily spam calls >post goes viral >get contacted by Intuit's Office of the President >they want my phone number
>create Google Voice number >get no calls for 12+ months >give the number to Quickbooks when they ask me to verify my identity >immediately start getting multiple spam calls every day
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@koulrophilia it's easy to accidentally hurt people when you think so little of yourself that you believe your words/actions don't matter
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Prob #1 advice for new runners Easy super easy Hard hard as fuck
@singhcredible Stop running fast everyday.
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my last relationship fell apart a week ago in the beginning, I just wanted the opportunity to make her happy in the end, I just wanted the opportunity to make myself happy I've never had a "monkey's paw" lesson with so much clarity before
Unfortunately, this can happen quite late in a relationship if you've been extremely forgiving or accommodating for a long time. Conflict avoidance is way riskier than those who practice it realize.
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I thought I was bad at conflict until I found someone who I'm actually compatible with, who also handles conflict well. turns out it's easy if you: actually like each other, have the same values + goals, and trust the other has your back. embarrassingly low bar, and yet.
People who handle conflict well are magnetic.
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