Ghost me , but make it sexy.

Blink and 25 years go by

I need someone to hold me the way defenses hold Micah Parsons

GOOD BETTER BEST

My husband just drove over a curb so I guess he’s my wife now.

I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but there really is such a thing as eating too much cheese.

Today while I was overthinking I realized I think too much.

All banana breads go to heaven.

Never play Musical Chairs wit a big booty bitch… you’ll get hip checked onto the kitchen floor.

I was helping my 10-year-old clean her room and said, “You have way too much stuff!” She replied, “I don’t have money. I didn’t buy any of this.” Daughter: 1 Dad: 0

How is every day in December 36 hours long but also 4 mins long. I’m confused.

Packers now back to sweeping the Lions. Order is restored.

Back in my day the music was so good we had to pay for it.

Not to brag, but I was alive when you could SLAM the phone down to hang up on someone. It was spectacular.

https://t.co/BXqxAogx1O

Such a great idea to deal with porch pirates. 😂

how my mom made me wear Halloween costumes

. Good Morning Curators Of The Questionable Content Internet

If anybody out theres #retired l👀king 4 something to do Help your local #rescue group~ could use some help socializing cats that spend hours upon hours languishing in habitat rooms there only company when somebody comes to clean the Cat boxes it's just not enough time

Check this out Carrie @ccccsc when I read this I thought you'd get a kick out of it

🤣🤣🤣