We're so close to "let's circle back next year" season I can taste it.

My favorite childhood memory is not ever having to think about protein.

HAVING AN EMPTY LAUNDRY BASKET IS THE BEST FIVE SECONDS OF THE WEEK.

I’m having a grilled cheese at 830 in the morning. Being an adult rocks

Can I get a follow back @RICHELLERYAN

I have literally died and gone to heaven, you guys @RICHELLERYAN

Someone on IG told me I look like @RICHELLERYAN and I have never felt more complimented! She may not be happy with the comparison but I’m riding this high as long as I can 🤣 love you, Richelle!

I can tell you who doesn’t give a fuck about the approaching 60 mph Nor’easter- the grocery store that still has 178 potted mums sitting outside their entrance.

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

taylor swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes

I don't think we need two-factor authorization to sign up for Jersey Mike's rewards program. I think we can play that one a little loose.

Hot pockets… microwave on high for one minute, let cool for 37 years

Being an adult means you have to learn how to roll your eyes on the inside

I never know how to react when a man with a cartoon avi calls me ugly. Godspeed little doodle

I think it’s completely reasonable to have at least one drink before attending any children’s event.

I was a junior lifeguard at 15!

Is it me or do you also feel like once you go to bed in a hotel room, everyone else in the hotel gathers outside your room to be loud AF?

Me: Can I get a can of whoop ass? Waiter: Is diet whoop ass ok?

“Perhaps I’m not meant to enjoy the benefits of Asian beauty regimens” I sob as I look at the eyebrow I just ripped off with a Korean beauty mask.

I don't argue with people who can't spell.